


100 Pale Flash Fanfictions

by aquatarius



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asshole Cronus, Blood Drinking, Cheating, Dubcon or Noncon Moirallegiance, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Grimdark, Headaches & Migraines, Heavy Bondage, Light Bondage, M/M, Moirails With Pails, Multi, No Plot/Plotless, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Sexual Bondage, Other, Pale Porn, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pale-Red Vacillation, Pining, Plotless Fluff, Rope Bondage, Sadstuck, Snuggling, Unrequited, Unrequited Crush, Vampires, dubcon, recreational asphyxiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-05-24 04:07:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 100
Words: 58,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6140998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquatarius/pseuds/aquatarius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>100 fanfictions, one posted a day, all under 1,000 words, and all about a different pale pairing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eridan/Sollux

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, here we are! Just a short thing with my otp to kick us off. Day one, complete!

Eridan’s hands are so beautifully cold on your forehead. He is so careful not to let his nails scrape against your skin and draw blood. It's happened before and his look of dismay and horror actually made the pain worth it. He rubs his fingertips into your skin and a hand strays down to stroke your cheek.

“How’s this feel?” He asks. You grunt. Talking makes your head hurt more. Listening to people talk also makes your head hurt more, but he’s so, so careful to talk in that exact pitch that you can somewhat stand, so you don't tell him to shut up. He takes the grunt to mean ‘good,’ which, thankfully, it does. You’ve had communication issues in the past that have been rather humorous.

“Hungry? You should drink some liquids.” His mouth is right next to your ear and he gives you a nuzzle, then holds up a glass of water for you to sip from.  
You could stand to be pampered like this forever. Of course, he is insisting that you not look at any screens for long periods of time. That sucks, and you told him so, and threw a fit until your headache demanded that you stop snapping at him and try to actually get rid of your headache. Sure, screens don’t exactly help, but it gives you something to do.

Your phone dings and you open an eye to glance at it. You see Eridan picking it up, and huff. He has no sense of privacy, sometimes. 

“It’s Karkat. He wants to know if you’re dead or if you’re ignoring him because you’re not friends anymore.” Eridan said. He gives a little amused snort and you snicker quietly. Karkat's drama is something you're both used to. 

“Tell him I’m dead. Let him mourn. Maybe he’ll appreciate me more.” 

“Or have a heart attack and come over here.” Eridan says. He’s already typing. “I’m tellin’ him you’re sick. Maybe dying.” 

“You’re a cruel man. He’th going to kill you.” You say. Eridan lays down next to you, elbowing you to the side of the resting platform. “Ow.”

“Sol, you’re fine. Shut up and snuggle.” Eridan says. Before you can protest, he wraps his arms around your body and curls you closer to his own body. He’s cold, and you take advantage of that, nuzzling under his chin and pressing your forehead against his damp gills. (Gills that you've worked so hard to keep damp, from nightly baths with him to oils and gels to seal in the damp.) He grumbles in discomfort but allows you to, stroking your back. You’re careful not to push too hard on the gills. Your aim is to annoy him, not to hurt him. 

“You’re burning up, even for you, babe.” Eridan says. You grunt and squeeze onto him. He tugs a blanket over the two of you, one of the nice ones that blocks out all of the light and muffles sounds, and you snuggle up with your own personal ice cube. 

  The voices mummer in the back of your head, and someone gets their neck snapped then goes into the voice, shouting about how it’s unfair. You think that if you could talk back to them, you’d tell them to shut the hell up, they aren’t special. Everyone dies, and in awful ways more often then not. Maybe you've just grown callous, but you probably would've gone insane if you cried over every single troll you heard die.

  Eridan starts to hum, one of his favorite songs. It’s one of the songs he says that sailors used to sing when they were at sea to keep rhythm when they were working. You’re pretty sure that’s dumb and fake, but it is nice to hear him and know that even though you’re forced to listen to the screams of the dying, you’re safe and here and with your palemate.

 You start to drift off to sleep, and Eridan shuffles a little. A few moments later, stick patches are pressed onto your wrists. Soper patches, to help you sleep. You mutter that he needs to put on some as well and he grunts and shuffles, and then wraps his arms around you. You feel his wrists, make sure he has soper on each one, then finally let yourself drift off to sleep. When you wake, you'll answer Karkat, but for now, you sleep.


	2. Aradia/Feferi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another headache fic with a psion and a sea dweller because ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Aradia pressed her head into the resting platform, groaning quietly in pain. She pulled a blanket over her head and squeezed her eyes shut. Ghosts murmured around her. They gave advice and asked questions. She didn't normally mind them, but her head was pulsing with pain tonight. Their voices were making it worse, and their gentle, cool touches made her skin crawl. It was a bad night for being a rust blood. 

Her computer dinged, and she groaned louder, in complaint now. She reached over and dragged it closer to her. Feferi was trolling her. Aradia sighed under her breath. Feferi probably wanted advice on her quadrants, and Aradia was in no state to answer them. But she clicked on the chat box. It was her duty. 

CC: S)(-ELLO!!  
CC: 38D  
AA: hell0  
CC: )(ow are you?  
AA: i c0uld be better 0_0  
CC: Aw 38(  
CC: W)(ats the matter?  
AA: i have a headache and they w0nt shut up  
CC: Video call!  
AA: uh  
CC: 38D  
AA: 0_0

The request for a video chat came in moments later, and Aradia sighed under her breath, but again, took it. Feferi was wearing bright makeup, and her crown, of course. Very regal. Aradia tried to smile weakly for Feferi, and Feferi waved at her. 

"Shello!" Feferi stage whispered. She was trying to keep quiet for Aradia. Aradia rolled her eyes and responded in a normal tone. 

"You just said that. But hello, Feferi. How are you?" She asked. 

"I'd be better if you weren't having a headache." Feferi said, her tone switching to match Aradia's. She pouted, sticking out her bottom lip. Aradia's smile grew a little and she pulled a pillow under her chin. "Have you tried some ice on it?"

"No." Aradia winced at Feferi's outraged gasp. Feferi looked as if someone had insulted her luses.

"A-rah-dee-ah Meg-ii-doe!" Feferi said, shaking her head with every syllable. Aradia groaned loudly, and dragged herself up to sit. She shoved off her blanket.

"I'm going, I'm going." Aradia grumbled. She stood and walked to her kitchen, muttering under her breath. She got herself a few ice cubes and put them in a water bag, then added some cool water. She returned to the bed and laid down on it. 

"Here, look. Got some." She said, holding it up the bag so Feferi could see. Feferi seemed pleased with that, and nodded. 

"That's it! Put it on your temple, now." Feferi said. Aradia obeyed, pressing it right above her eyes. Feferi looked her over through the screen and her cheeks grew a bit pink. "Better?"

"...Yeah." Aradia admited. It did feel nice to have ice against her hot, slightly sticky skin.

"Great! Keep it there." Feferi said. She squeezed a pillow to her chest and giggled a little. Aradia waved and half closed her eyes. They were quiet, just watching each other. Aradia's headache dulled, but did not leave. After a while, Aradia got herself a hot water bag, and that eased her headache into near nonexistance. 

Feferi began to talk after a while, playing with her hair. She curled it between her fingers and gnawed on the tips. She didn't talk about anything important and Aradaia dozed as she listened. The ghosts quieted themselves down as well. When Aradia snored softly, Feferi smiled and gently pressed the tips of her forefinger and her middle finger to the screen in a half diamond shape. 

"Pale for you, cuddle-fish." She whispered. Aradia snored again and Feferi giggled, then turned the video screen off.


	3. Dualscar/Grand Highblood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dualscar interrupts the Highblood's nap.

  Dualscar leaned his back against Makara's chest, and rumbled out a loud purr to him. He'd finally found the clown alone, and intended to make every moment of the time count. Makara set his chin between Dualscar's horns and reached up to stroke his gills. Dualscar shivered almost at once and lifted up his chin. There were very, very few people he'd allow to touch him like this, but the Highblood was his moirail, so it was allowed. He always seemed fascinated with Dualscar's 'fishy bits' and had often jokingly - Dualscar hoped it was jokingly - suggested 'further inspection.' Dualscar had yet to allow him his 'inspection.'

  After a few minutes of purring and petting, Dualscar began to talk, pouring out feelings and rambling that were half sensible and half total romantic junk. He was aware that he wasn't making much sense, but didn't make himself shut up. It wasn't as if the clown would know any different. Makara was quiet for once, letting him ramble away. It was nice to have a break from Makara's normal interruptions. Makara rested his hand on Dualscar's shoulder and Dualscar's gills twitched.

  After a while, Dualscar paused. He asked Makara what he thought of all that, and Makara responded with a quiet snore. Dualscar shouted and Makara jolted awake. Dualscar snapped at him, asking him what the hell he was doing and why wasn't he helping Dualscar figure this out. (After all, talking to yourself about your own problems can only get you so far. He didn't say that, though.)

  Makara grumbled in a sulky manner and squeezed onto his fish. He muttered something about the joys of having someone nice enough to lull him to sleep with his boring life problems and Dualscar asked if his problems were really boring. Makara apparently did have a think pan somewhere in there, because he replied with a slow, drawn out 'no.'

  Dualscar huffed loudly, and crossed his arms. Makara whined and squeezed onto his fish again. He nuzzled the back of Dualscar's head and murmured a soft apology. Dualscar grumbled and twisted away, and Makara chased after, whining nice and loud for his 'fishy brother' to come back and snuggle with him.

  Dualscar tipped his chin down and glowered at the ground, but didn't stop Makara from pulling him back and curling around him. Makara cooed to his moirail, apologizing and murmuring soft declarations of love. Dualscar slowly relaxed again, and Makara nudged the fish's chin up to stroke his gills again. He began to ask questions, prying into Dualscar's life and drawing out his issues again.

  While Dualscar talked, Makara worked on his gills and slowly pressed his fingers into them. He brushed them against some filaments and Dualscar crooned softly. Dualscar stuttered through his talking, trying focus on his issues and not the pets and kisses and nuzzles that the Highblood was giving him.

  Finally, the Highblood eased his moirail down to lay on his side and just laid on him. Dualscar grumbled and squirmed but Makara held him down easily. Dualscar huffed softly and closed his eyes. The Highblood nuzzled his gills, and ran his tongue between two of them. It wasn't long before he'd eased his brother to sleep, and after he did, he curled tighter around him and continued his own nap. 


	4. Nepeta/Equius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A traditional pairing with sadstuck because I haven't done either of those yet.

Nepeta was six years old when she met who would become her best friend for the rest of her life. She met him in a day care. His name was Equius Zahhak, he was from somewhere in Africa that she couldn't pronounce, and he got sweat on her toys. She pulled him around and showed him all her favorite toys, and let him take a toy pony from her farm, even though it was one of her favorites.

Nepeta was twelve years old when she had her first fight with him. She wanted to go to Vriska's birthday party, and Equius told her that she could not go no matter what. She screamed, told him she would go anyway, threw a stuffed animal at him, and shoved him into a toy bin. Through it all, he remained impassive and just frowned disapprovingly when he left. When she heard how many people had been injured during a 'prank' of Vriska's, saw how Tavros limped, saw the scratches around Terezi's eyes, and heard Aradia was in a coma, she got chills down her spine. She didn't know what a coma was, her mother would only say that it was a sickness were a person didn't wake up for a long time. She hung around Equius even more and took his advice with a seriousness that was perhaps unhealthy for a girl of her age.

Nepeta was fourteen years old when she got her first real crush. The boy was named Karkat Vantas, he was moody and irritable, and swore like a sailor with a thesaurus. She thought she could be the one to calm him, to tame him. Her fantasies of their life together were extraordinary. Equius tried hard to steer her away, but failed. Only when she heard the drama with Karkat, Dave, and Terezi, and how it had ended, did Nepeta finally realize she'd been deluding herself. That was followed up by a long, long night with Equius and ice cream and t.v. shows. Her mother made waffles the next morning and Equius walked her home every night for a month.

Nepeta was sixteen when she and Equius ran into Gamzee. Gamzee was a weird kid, but friendly. Up until that night, Nepeta, and everyone else, had thought him harmless. That night, they were both put in the hospital. Nepeta couldn't quite reach Equius's cot. The fingermarks around his neck made her throat tighten and her blood boil. She closed her eyes and tried not to start to scream or cry. It was a rough night.

When Nepeta was eighteen, she moved out, got her own home, and got a job. Not in that order, of course, and it had taken a lot of hard work, but Nepeta was not the sort of girl to give up because the going got hard. Equius got her some lovely housewarming gifts. She met a lovely person who would later break her heart more then Karkat had. And Equius was there to pick up her broken pieces and patch her back together, the same as if they were fourteen all over again.

In the end, Equius was always there for Nepeta. And when she heard he'd been killed, a riding accident at a ranch, her stomach dropped. Tavros's face as he told her, the way tears gathered in his eyes, didn't make her not blame him, and she shut the door in his face. And it was as if she was five again, and not all the ice cream or all the t.v. in the world could help heal this heart break.


	5. Kurloz/Mituna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurloz mourns what has become of his moirail.

Kurloz could feel his anger bubbling in the back of his mind as he listened to Meulin's inane babblings. She was bragging about how good her 'writing' was, and talking about what new 'furrend fiction' she was working on. Maybe he was just in a bad mood, but he really wanted to make her shut the hell up. But he only smiled and nodded and signed a few words that went completely ignored.

He was tempted to use his voodoos. They pulsed in the back of his mind, a reminder of what he could do to her. How he could tug on the strings that made up her mind, play her like a harp until she shut up. And still, he smiled and nodded. He kept those things to himself. No need to worry his teammates. If they could even be called that. He saw the looks they gave him. It wasn't like he didn't deserve them, but he didn't want to give them any more reason to be scared of him. His work for the Messiahs was hard enough as it was.

There was a sudden warmth near his elbow, touching him. Kurloz twisted his head and looked down. Mituna was standing there, helmet squishing down his hair and a string of drool trickling from the corner of his mouth. Half a skateboard was in his hand. His clothing was wrinkled, as if he'd tried to take it off and given up half way through. All normal, for Mituna.

Kurloz smiled wider at him, strings tugging on his lips, and turned to face him. He nodded to signal to Meulin to keep on talking, not that she had even noticed that he'd turned away. He reached up and gently wiped away the drool with his sleeve then pulled off Mituna's helmet. He ran his fingers through Mituna's hair, fluffing it up and then booped his nose. Mituna cackled, a harsh, unpleasant noise. Kurloz resisted the urge to wince and stroked Mituna's cheek instead. He smoothed out his clothing, next, his anger and annoyance dissipating as he worked.

Mituna reached up and clumsily paped Kurloz's face. It was almost a slap. Mituna was not a careful person. Kurloz nuzzled into his hand, thinking about how warm it was, and how soft. Mituna's hands used to be rough with callouses. Now he never did anything with enough regularity to develop them after his accident.

Mituna slurred something, and it sounded like there was a 'Kankri' somewhere in there. Kurloz grimaced and pressed his thumb to Mituna's lips. He hated how Mituna's voice was now, scratchy and awful and so slurred. So different from before the incident. He missed Mituna's old voice.

Kurloz pressed into Mituna's mind, gently opening it up. Meulin's too loud voice continued in the background, white noise now. Kurloz found the strings to Mituna's mouth and gently tugged them, sealing it shut. He found the ones to his limbs and just as gently stilled them. He pulled and plucked and twisted until Mituna sagged against him, all the twitchy awfulness gone from him.

Kurloz's only remorse was that while he could take away Mituna's clumsiness, he could not replace his normalness. He could never give him back his ability to skateboard, to walk normally, to eat without spilling on himself, to talk.

Kurloz pressed his face into Mituna's hair, and pulled on his strings. He could never give Mituna back what he'd lost, but he could make it easier to bare, and by the messiahs, he would.


	6. Dualscar/Darkleer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dualscar is better company then none, but that's not saying much.

Dualscar had been in Darkleer's 'hive' ever since he'd ran away from that clown. He'd found one of Mindfang's safe houses, the one Darkleer was stashed away in. At first, Darkleer had been weary of Dualscar, but it had eased into mild tension that dropped into begrudging acceptance of him, and finally, a hesitant friendship.

Dualscar had odd coping techniques, to say the least. Darkleer had often caught him 'plotting,' which usually meant imaging horrible deaths for people he disliked. Dualscar plotted a lot. Darkleer believed he had plans to take down nearly everyone of importance in the empire.

Dualscar's plotting aside, he was all right company...When he wasn't having a fit, using the bathroom for seven hours, or so drunk he couldn't walk. It wasn't like Darkleer didn't have issues, so he attempted to ignore Dualscar's or work around them as much as he could. He rarely considered booting Dualscar from his hive. And the thoughts he did have, were immediately shoved to the side on account of Dualscar's company being better then no company.

Darkleer was in his workshop working when Dualscar sought him out, walking right up to his workbench and leaning on the blue blood. He smelled clean, of lavender and cinnamon. There wasn't a hint of alcohol in the Orphaner's breath, a pleasant surprise.

Darkleer noted this as he worked. Dualscar made it a stunning five minutes before opening his mouth up and starting to speak. He rambled, boasted about old stories that Darkleer had heard a hundred times over, and of the new ones he'd make, how he'd take down the clown and the pirate and everyone who dared to stand in his way. Darkleer answered in grunts and grumbled and a few quiet nickers when he heard something he was particularly interested in. Dualscar steered the conversation towards subjects that gained more attention from Darkleer.

Finally, he mentioned that he would make Darkleer one of his most important officers, a casual little 'And as my right hand, you'll take care of lawbreakers.' Darkleer jumped and snapped the screwdriver in his hand. It was one of the heavy duty ones, made so strong nothing was supposed to be able to break it, within reason.

Dualscar went silent and looked down at it. Darkleer lowered his ears and looked away. Dualscar made an interested noise and reached over to take it.

"You're very strong." Dualscar said, his tone conversational. He turned it over in his hands, then set it down. "That's useful, isn't it?"

"...You, don't...think it's...Freakish?" Darkleer asked. Dualscar shook his head. He reached over to grab onto a lock of Darkleer's hair and play with it. His other hand went to pet Darkleer's neck. His claws scrapped against Darkleer's throat, and Darkleer shuddered.

"Of course not. I think it's strange, shore, but useful. All the thin's that must be easier for you. No wonder you've lived so long." Dualscar said. He curled his fingers around Darkleer's throat and started to squeeze. Darkleer shuddered again and bit onto his bottom lip.

"I...Isn't it frightening?" Darkleer tried. Dualscar tugged gently on his hair. His fingers continued to squeeze until Darkleer couldn't breathe.

"Yes?" Dualscar asked, tipping his head to the side. He had on an innocent expression. After a moment, he eased his grip. Darkleer heaved in a breath, and rubbed the front of his throat.

Dualscar hummed a few notes, and nudged Darkleer's hand away. Dualscar started rub the place he'd squeezed.

"Horuss, you're not scary because you control yourself. You could've shoved me away, broken my wrist with a flick of your hands, any number of thin's. But you didn't. You're still not doing anythin'. You're lettin' me lean over you and touch you. You're not scary because you're passiwve." Dualscar said. He took hold of Darkleer's chin and tipped it up, looking down at him. "You're a pushover."

"I am no such-"

"You let the Highblood banish you without a word in your own defense. You let Mindfang squirrel you away in a corner. You let her pirates make demands of your skills. Before that, you allowed clowns and other highbloods to. You think anyone with a higher blood is your better. Horuss Zahhak, you are a pushover."

For a moment, they were quiet, looking at each other. Then, Darkleer looked away. Dualscar was right. Of course he was right. Darkleer was a pushover, and that's why he'd been banished. He'd taken pity on that olive, and he'd paid dearly for it.

"Go away, sea breather." Darkleer muttered. Dualscar snorted and started to squeeze Darkleer's throat. Sweat began to gather on Darkleer's brow and some trickled off his chin.

"Do you mean that? I thought I've been great company." Dualscar said. He let go and rubbed again. Darkleer swallowed and looked away. He batted away Dualscar's hands and ran his fingers through his hair.

"...Your 'company' leaves much to be desired, Orphaner." Dualscar's fins pricked up at the title. Darkleer held back a snort at his vanity. "But...No. I don't think I want you to leave."

"Of course not. Who wouldn't want to bask in my presence?" Dualscar asked. Darkleer snorted loudly that time, and Dualscar gave him a sour look.

"Who indeed? Begone, Orphaner, I've work to do." Darkleer said. Dualscar turned and hunched up his shoulders. Darkleer reached out and gently touched his back, right between his shoulder blades. "Orphaner."

"What?" Dualscar's tone was sharp, hurt.

"...I'll join you for a drink, later."

"You just want to make sure I don't drink all your good alcohol."

"Be that as it may. I'll see you soon."

Darkleer drew his hand away. Dualscar left, his boots clacking against the floor. Darkleer turned back to his work. He'd need to finish quickly if he wanted to make good on his word.


	7. Karkat/Gamzee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee pales his best bro.

Karkat was gagged with a soft rag, and his hands were tied in front of him. He glared daggers at the lanky troll in front of him, who was slumping and staring back with half closed eyes. Karkat grumbled through his gag as best he could and Gamzee smiled lazily.

"Bro, you look like a sight miraculous." Gamzee drawled, his voice slow and thick. Karkat narrowed his eyes and tried to hiss. Gamzee honked, and leaned forward to press their foreheads together. He brought up his hand to stroke Karkat's cheek. His hand was cold. Karkat might have called it ice cold, but he'd held hands with Eridan and received one of Feferi's hugs. Gamzee was not ice cold. He was just cold, and in a way that was comforting and pleasant.

Karkat resisted the urge to lean into his hand. That was what Gamzee wanted, to have his moirail melting all over and being a submissive piece of grub flesh. So instead he pulled his head back and continued to glower at Gamzee. He tried to hiss through his rag, but the sound didn't quite make it.

For a moment, Gamzee looked deeply hurt. His face crumpled in a little, wide eyes seeming to get bigger as his mouth turned into a little downward c. For a moment, Karkat was afraid that he was going to use his wriggler bark beast look. It always worked on Tavros and Feferi, and rarely failed on Karkat.

But then he just smiled again, and reached after Karkat. He gently brushed his cool knuckles over Karkat's cheek and this time, Karkat didn't lean away. It was a little soothing to be touched by something so cool.

"Look so beautiful. So wondrous. So..." Gamzee whispered. He tipped his head to the side and ran his thumb over Karkat's chin. He leaned after him again, face inches away from Karkat. Karkat wondered if he'd ever even heard of personal space. He didn't allow himself to be glad for the gag keeping his front at bay. "MIRACULOUS!"

Karkat winced at his sudden shout and Gamzee instantly pulled back a little. Gamzee's look turned from nearly reverent to sheepish. He papped Karkat's cheek, and then booped his nose.

"Sorry, brother, be forgettin' 'bout using my inside voice." Gamzee said, his voice laced with the closest thing to embarrassment that his think pan could scrape up. Karkat wrinkled up his nose and Gamzee used his thumb to smooth it back out.

Karkat huffed softly at him and leaned after him, grumbling soft insults under his breath. Gamzee flashed him an especially dopey grin and then nuzzled his cheek. He pressed their foreheads together again and closed his eyes. This time, he kept his voice quiet.

"My miracle. My brother. My diamond." Gamzee whispered. Karkat slowly closed his eyes. Gamzee began to wrap his arms around Karkat, one hand going up to cup the back of his neck and the other wrapping around his waist and drawing him closer. "My palebro. So beautiful. Like all the stars got together to form the prettiest thing they could think up."

Karkat snorted, and pressed his face into Gamzee's neck. Gamzee held Karkat close. He pressed his face into Karkat's hair and inhaled his scent, his fingers playing with the little hairs at the back of Karkat's neck and his other hand stroking soothingly down his spine. It didn't take long for the mutant to fall asleep.

When Gamzee was sure his moirail was asleep, he pulled out his gag and curled around him. He'd keep him safe from everyone, nice and quiet so his palebro could get his proper rest on, he promised himself. Gamzee closed his eyes, and purred softly to Karkat. Despite his thoughts, the clown soon fell asleep as well, giving quiet snores.


	8. Eridan/Feferi

CC: )(i!  
CA: uh  
CA: hi  
CC: Remember me?  
CA: a course i do youre the heiress  
CC: T)(ATS RIGHT! 38D  
CA: nice to see you again  
CC: )(e)(e, tanks! you too.   
CA: really  
CC: Of course, s)(elly pants.  
CA: oh  
CC: )(ow are you?  
CA: im okay  
CA: just readin up on some old history books  
CC: Cool! W)(ich ones?  
CA: ones concernin the orphaners  
CC: I know about the Orphaners! T)(ey worked for the empress.   
CA: hell yeah  
CA: its one of the single most important things a guy or a gal can do for the empire  
CA: wworkin directly under the empress herself an feedin her luses theres no higher honor then that  
CA: for a sea dwweller anywway  
CC: I never t)(ought aboat it t)(at wave!  
CA: anywway i didnt mean to bore you your highness howw are you  
CC: Im good! 38) I went near the coast tonight and t)(ere was this reely weird clown.  
CA: i hate clowwns  
CC: I t)(ink t)(ey're funny! T)(ey're scary to land dwellers, t)(ough.   
CA: yeah that makes sense  
CA: they are the upholders of the alternian laww  
CA: cant fault them for that  
CC: You sure do talk a lot!  
CA: oh  
CA: sorry  
CC: It's okay! So do I. 38)  
CA: wwhat are you talkin to me for anyway  
CA: or anywave  
CC: )(a)(a you punned!  
CA: yeah you PIKE puns dont you  
CC: Yes!! 38D  
CA: im smilin a little bit right noww  
CC: You dont use emotes?  
CA: nah  
CA: not reely my style  
CA: not that im dissin it or anyfin its cool  
CC: Aw, I didn't t)(ink you were.   
CA: i wwould nevver diss a pinkblood  
CC: Reely? W)(y naught?  
CA: are you kiddin me  
CA: you could be the future empress  
CC: O)( yea)(. T)(at. I don't reely like t)(inking about it.   
CA: why not  
CC: It makes me worried. 38(  
CA: wwell thats stupid  
CA: aint nothin to be worried about  
CC: T)(ere isn't?  
CA: not a thing  
CC: W)(ale if you say so!  
CA: i do  
CA: what are you here for  
CC: I wanted to talk to you agian! I dont really have a lot of friends. 38(  
CA: oh  
CA: a course  
CC: )(u)(?  
CA: nothin dont wworry  
CA: its good to hear from you again anywway  
CC: You too!   
CA: i gotta go cuz my luses is yellin for somethin to eat again  
CC: All right! )(ave fun ca!  
CA: yeah im sure ill have barrels of it  
CC: )(e)(e!

-caliginousAquarium disconnected!-

Eridan sat back from his computer, face flushed. His fins fluttered a little and he scratched behind one. He had just been contacted by the possible future heiress herself. And not through any random connect, either, she'd remembered him and wanted to talk to him again. Him. Of all the trolls she could talk to, literally anyone in the empire should be honored to have a pinkblood talk to them. And she'd talked to him. Eridan Ampora.

He cleared his throat and got up, trotting downstairs to try and find his luses. Seahorsedad was in the main room, curled up on a pile. Eridan glubbed to him and walked over. He climbed on the pile, and onto his luses's side. Seahorsedad snorted at him and lifted his head to nudge Eridan into the curve of his tail.

"Hey, dad." He said. "I just met a princess."


	9. Eridan/Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose goes Grimdark and Eridan is having none of it.

Black, inky slop. The sound of dripping water in a cave. Darkness. Cold, aching, deep in her bones. Pain. A voice.

Rose opened her eyes. A voice. One she knew well.

The scenery was in black and grays. And red. Blood. Red, red blood.

A figure.

Rose grasped the black around her. She pulled it in, forming it into a weapon, pulsing it into her needles. She forced it out of the tip of her needle, at the figure.

White.

It met her black and forced it away, disintegrating it. Rose hissed, and opened her mouth. She forced the black out of her, voices whispering in the back of her skull.

_THE PRINCE. Kill him. End him. Stop his white. Angel prince. Stop him._

Black was flung out of her needles, at the prince. Again, white met her, and ended her attack before it could hit the Prince. He was talking. Rose narrowed her eyes to listen.

"Rose Lalonde ya stop this this instant or so help me, Ah'm gonna show you a wh-whole new side to yer so called magic."

Was he...threatening her?   
  
"Yer 'black magic' ain't got nothin' on my science!"

He was.

"Do ya hear me, Lalonde?!"

Rose heard him all right.

She lifted her needles and pointed at the figure. One final burst should finish him off, the voices promised. She screamed and poured her power into it, forcing out the magic.

Again, the figure stopped it. How was he doing this, the voices demanded. Rose felt ill. Black sloshed inside her, and began to claw it's way up.

If she died, would it be ruled as just?

Not if the figure killed her. There was nothing just in the evil killing an hero. But she'd never be ruled as heroic in her state.

Logic, cool and calming, poured over her.

Rose was ready.

Rose was scared.

Rose trusted him to kill her.

Rose hoped she'd come back.

_Don't trust the prince. Destroyer. Save yourself. KILL HIM. Come to us._

"I'm ready," She said.

-

Eridan scooped up her body. It wasn't hard. He was strong and had carried far more then this when he'd hunted for Feferi's luses.

He walked over to a set of steps and sat down heavily on them. Rose's body was limp in his lap. He coughed and blood trickled out of his mouth. He'd bit his cheek.

Her death wouldn't be heroic. He suspected it might be just.

Eridan pressed his face into her hair and squeezed onto her. He'd just have to wait and see. If she did come back, it would be obvious. If she didn't...he could wait here forever.

There was always the chance that one of the life players might be able to revive her. Feferi could heal, but she could not bring back to life. Jane could heal and revive. Jane was logically his best bet. He had to call her, had to have her bring Rose back to life.

He inhaled her scent, the scent of lavender covered by rot and oil and thick, heavy black magic. He nuzzled her hair and squeezed her so tightly something in her cracked. After a moment, he stood up, holding Rose bridle style.

Then he jolted and dropped Rose. Her body hung in the air where it was dropped. Her skin had returned to normal, and her body was flowing with energy that he could feel even when he scrambled back several steps. She was waking up.

-

Rose felt life flowing through her. Her limbs were light again, and the air smelled clean.

She opened her eyes. Color.

So. Much. Color.

A voice.

A figure.

"Rose Lalonde, _you are in so much trouble_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eridan does not put up with his friends going crazy. Wonder what he'd think of trickster form.


	10. Eridan/Roxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy is alone.

  Roxy had always been promised that Eridan would outlive her. He was a sea dweller. He would live for centuries. She wouldn't live for one century. Even if it went unsaid by most people, out of courtesy, it was known. She would die first.

 So when she'd received the phone call that Eridan had died, she'd thought it was a joke. Hunting accident, they'd said. No one expected it, they said. Horrible tragedy, they said. Flowers were sent. Cards were sent. Money was sent. Everything to help the Orphaner's moirail.

  Roxy didn't feel helped. She sniffled and wiped her nose with her sleeve. Dirk and Jane were in her kitchen, their low voices a bit too quiet for Roxy to hear clearly Jake was shuffling through her movies on the rack, and glancing at where she was seated on the couch from time to time.

 "How about...Pretty Woman?" He asked, holding up a movie case. Roxy shrugged. She didn't care what she watched. She wanted Eridan back. But her friends would be concerned if she started to act apathetic, so she cleared her throat and nodded.

 "Yeah, sounds good." Roxy said. Her voice was hoarse. She wiped her eyes, and swallowed down the sob that tried to get out. She could cry once her comfort party was gone.

  Jane and Dirk came in before to long, holding food. They tried to watch the movie with her, but Roxy could feel their worry and their little glances. Just say it, just ask it, go on. Roxy thought. Ask me how I am and nod when I say I'm okay. You never understood him.

  The next moment, guilt twisted her stomach. She shouldn't resent them because they couldn't understand her pain. They'd never understood Eridan, but how many attempts had Eridan made to understand them? He only learned enough about humans to bridge the gap between himself and Roxy. She shouldn't resent them. She hadn't resented Eridan.

  She sniffled and ate the food and watched the movie. It felt like she was moving through a fog. Every little thing that she saw made her think of Eridan. The food, the movie, the couches, the wall. It didn't feel like hers anymore. It felt like Eridan's.

  Her guests asked if she wanted them to stay the night, and she said no, and shooed them out of the hive she and Eridan had shared. She and Eridan. Only her, now.

  Once they were gone, Roxy went to the bedroom. She cast one look at the 'coon, and slowly made her way to the bed. She laid down on it and sniffled quietly. She couldn't think of one person she felt comfortable messaging. She needed a moirail and she didn't have one.

  The humans? They didn't know him, and most of them didn't even really understand moirails. The trolls? She was a human, and outlander.

  Roxy Lalonde was alone.

  And there was little chance of that changing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not incredibly happy with this one but whatever. Just set in some humans and trolls live in the same empire or whatever.


	11. Dualscar/Feferi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dualscar is pale for the empress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible tw for over protectiveness/possible abuse-ish stuff? Just wanna have my butt covered.

"It's just so hard!"

"Mhm."

"I don't know anyfin about being emp-fish."

"Mmmm."

"And, none of Meenah's advisors are actually of any help."

"Mm. Mhm."

"They all just want her back."

"Hmm."

"Are you listening to me?"

Dualscar glanced up from where he was fixing one of the stray pieces of Feferi's hair. He lifted an eyebrow, gazing at her coolly through the mirror. She stuck out her bottom lip, and with a heavy sigh, Dualscar reached up to take the hair brush out of his mouth.

"Your imperious benevolence, I would never dream of doin' anythin' but listenin' to you complain about how bad you have it." He commented. Feferi twisted in her seat and swatted his side. He snorted and batted at her hands. "Listen to yourself. It's pathetic."

"Yes, you're I'm supposed to be pathetic for you." Feferi said, facing back around and crossing her arms. She glanced down at the papers on her dresser.

"This isn't pathetic in a romantic way, Peixes. Permission to be frank?" Dualscar stood up, setting the brush and the pins he held in his hands on the dresser. He reached down to scoop up the papers and squinted at them.

"Always, Orphaner." Feferi said. She looked up to him, frowning. Dualscar looked down at her, and set the papers back down. She'd aged a lot from the day he'd first met her. Gone was the giggly pre-teen girl, replaced by this...Well, woman. Pity squeezed onto his heart, and he reached down and brushed his fingers over her cheek.

It was horribly indulgent, for both of them. They weren't even official. Dualscar wondered what Feferi would think if she'd known he'd been under orders to pretend to be pale for her to trick her and betray her in the end. The empress had relied on his loyalty to herself, and while she'd had back up plans, he liked to think that her miscalculations of himself had been a large part in the empress's downfall. He drew away his hand and looked at himself in the mirror. Feferi would never find out. He'd taken many precautions to assure that.

"Don't complain. It's not becomin', and if word gets out-"

"It'll only get out if you start telling people."

"Or if you get in the habit of complainin'. Next thing you know, you're spilling your guts to some advisor who has loose lips. You worked hard for this position. You knew it would be hard. A lot of people sacrificed for this." Dualscar said. "Don't make them question that by acting ungrateful and sayin' it's 'hard.'"

"...I." Dualscar continued to look the the mirror. It took a moment for Feferi to speak up. Her voice was strained. "I thought I could talk to you about my feelings. I sea now that I was wrong."

"Were you? Or are you just pouting because you don't want someone to tell you that you're wrong sometimes?" Dualscar said. He turned his gaze down. Feferi's jaw was set. She narrowed her eyes and turned to look up to him. Tears were threatening the corners of her eyes, so Dualscar softened his voice. "I value your trust, empress. And I hope you value my consol enough to think it over."

Before she could open her mouth, Dualscar bent down and kissed her forehead. As his lips hovered over her cool skin, he lifted up his hand and paped her cheek, once. Then he drew himself back up and turned. He walked towards the door. He stopped in the doorway, and looked over his shoulder.

Feferi was staring at him, pinks dusted a light pink and tears gone. He smiled, his most charming smile. She swallowed.

"You're on in half an hour, empress. You should work on your speech." He said. He left, letting the door shut behind him, and closed his eyes. He was playing a dangerous game, speaking his mind to the new empress and giving her counsel. With any luck, she'd listen to him. But Dualscar never had had the best of luck. Perhaps it was time to eliminate more of the risks that threatened the new empress.


	12. Terezi/Kanaya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya and Terezi are a little awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't one I'm really proud of, but...I'm just learning to write these characters, so.

  Terezi ran her chalk over the wall in great, sweeping arcs. Kanaya watched from several feet away. Shapes and colors covered the wall nearly completely. Terezi was filling in the holes, albeit sloppily, completing a picture of what would appear to be her hive, blue trunks with pink leaves and different colored patches hanging from the trees.

  Kanaya cleared her throat. Terezi continued to draw.

  "Bread crumb trails, bread crumb trail, bread crumb trail..." Kanaya muttered under her breath. Terezi paused and then burst into cackling. Her mouth pulled into a sharp grin, and she turned to look at Kanaya. Kanaya's pusher squeezed, and she inhaled sharply.

  "Miss Mint! How may I help you? Is it possible you have need of something that I posses?" The fake questioning tone in Terezi's voice made Kanaya smile for a moment. Terezi let go of her chalk and started to walk towards Kanaya, her hands clasped behind her back. It would've looked better if she'd been holding her cane behind her, holding it horizontally so it stuck out on ether side of her. It looked good enough. "Because I am at a loss as to what it might be!"

  "I am sure that you are. Perhaps a demonstration would be beneficial in teaching you?" Kanaya asked. Terezi tipped up her chin, pretending to think if over. She swallowed, and Kanaya's eyes were drawn to the way that her throat moved with the motion. She imagined her teeth cutting into that beautiful gray skin.

  "I agree. Demonstrate away!" Terezi said. There was a flippancy in her voice that Kanaya yearned to master.

  Kanaya leaned forward, licking her lips. Terezi smelled like chalk and a little bit like sweat. Kanaya was glad she didn't have the sharp smelling that Terezi did.

  She pressed her lips to Terezi's throat, and then slowly slid her fangs into Terezi's neck. She began to sip, slowly at first. Terezi grunted, and lifted a hand to play with Kanaya's hair. Kanaya knew she'd get chalk in it. She always did. Sometimes Kanaya was half convinced that Terezi kept a small piece of chalk in her hands and used it to get Kanaya's hair streaked with red.

  Kanaya sucked harder, the cool, thick blood trickling down her throat. It didn't taste very good. But she did need it. She set a hand on Terezi's shoulder and continued to suck down the blood.

  Terezi twisted her head a little, and sniffed Kanaya's hair. Kanaya pressed her teeth deeper, and Terezi hissed in pain. For a moment, Kanaya wanted to shove Terezi down and force her to be still, but Kanaya pushed those thoughts down as far as she could. She would not ever force anyone to give her blood.

  Kanaya let go of Terezi, and licked the wound once. She pulled her head back. Terezi kept her chin tipped up, and Kanaya applied a bandaid to the fang marks. She pet the front of Terezi's neck and shivered a little.

  "Careful there, Miss Mint." Terezi said. She cackled quietly, and batted Kanaya's hand away.

  "Of course. Thank you, Terezi." Kanaya said. Terezi turned, and picked up her chalk again. There was a tenseness in her shoulders that Kanaya wanted to rub away. She tried to find a comment that was sarcastic enough to warrant attention, yet not enough to sting. For once, Kanaya was at a loss. Terezi's shoulder blades stuck out of her back at a nearly alarming angel. She needed to eat more.

  "Anytime! Did you change your shampoo?" Terezi started to draw again. Kanaya smiled a little, and stepped closer.

  Kanaya set a hand on Terezi's shoulder. She squeezed gently, and Terezi shivered. Kanaya lifted up her other hand and began to knead her fingertips into Terezi's shoulders. Terezi lifted her hands up and pressed them against the wall. She leaned on them, and exhaled through her mouth. Kanaya continued, feeling Terezi's shoulders start to relax under her hands.

  Kanaya rubbed for nearly a minute. She took her hands away when Terezi let her hands drop. Terezi turned and looked at Kanaya for a moment. Kanaya cleared her throat, and walked out of the room, feeling Terezi's gaze on her back.

  Kanaya walked until she got to the room she'd claimed as her own. She dropped onto the pile of fabrics, and pressed her palm to her temple. She didn't notice she had been followed until a cool body dropped next to hers, pressing up close to her side.

  "Left rather quickly, shamrock." Terezi whispered.

  "That's not even close to my color." Kanaya whispered back. "It is far to dark. Akin to your humor."

  Terezi laughed. She squeezed onto Kanaya, and rested her head on Kanaya's chest. Kanaya rested her hand on Terezi's head. She could get used to this.


	13. Eridan/Sollux/Karkat

  Karkat wasn't really hearing what he was saying anymore. Terezi was cackling, though, so some quiet part of his mind told him to shut up before he made himself look like more of a fool. He couldn't shut up. He was incapable of shutting up. He spat another insult at her, feeling his vocal cords strain a little.

  Suddenly, something warm and tingly pressed against the underside of his jaw, forcing it closed. Cool hands touched the back of his hand and his shoulder. Karkat strained against the psionics and the hands, but Sollux stepped in front of him, blocking Karkat's view of Terezi. His horns were sparking gently. Anger flared up in Karkat, and fear. Something inside him panicked, telling him the psionic and the Highblood were going to kill him.

  Karkat struck out, swinging his fist for Sollux's jaw. Sollux caught his hand in his psionics, inches away from his face and Karkat screamed, wordless and primal. The hands on the back of his neck and his shoulder squeezed, gentle but firm. Thumbs rubbed circles into Karkat. Half his body screamed they were going to hurt him, and the other half wanted to roll over and go submissive for the hands that were so wonderfully cool and strong.

  Sollux's psionics pulled both his hands up, and Sollux stepped forward. He leaned down and nuzzled Karkat's face, chirring softly, sweetly. Karkat almost started to lower his guard. But there was a flash of Terezi's cape, red. Red like blood. Karkat jerked and slammed his head forward into the yellow blood, who was certainly trying to calm him down so that he could bring him to the empress to be culled for his red, red blood.

  Sollux shrieked and stumbled back, blood streaming down from his nose and mouth. The hands on Karkat's neck and shoulder tightened and there was a loud hiss. Sollux's psionics faltered and then flicked off.

  "Kar." Karkat tried to elbow behind himself. Eridan shoved suddenly, and Karkat spilled onto the floor. Before he could get up, Eridan was on top of him, pinning Karkat's chest to the ground by holding his wrists down and pressing his own chest against Karkat's back. "Stay down."

  Karkat screamed again, and his voice cracked. He stared down at the red that dripped from his face ot the floor. His blood color was being exposed. He needed to fight, he needed to cover it up. He wheezed, and tried to squirm, but Eridan was bigger and stronger. It wasn't even a contest. Karkat opened his mouth to scream more, but warm hands cupped his face and a thumb pressed against his lips. They tipped it up, and Eridan pressed his mouth to the side of Karkat's neck. Karkat trembled, staring up at Sollux.

  Karkat could see blood still trickling down his face, and Sollux was grimacing in pain. He spat out a piece of tooth and lisped out a curse. Eridan's teeth brushed against Karkat's throat and Karkat shivered. For a moment, Karkat was lost in the feelings of hands on him. But the next, he shook it off and started to hiss, shoving his ears forward.

 "Thhhhh." Sollux said. He started to pap Karkat's face. Karkat wanted to bite his hand off. Eridan kissed his neck, his lips cool and dry. Karkat snarled and tried to jerk his head around to bite into Eridan's fin, but Sollux kept his face tipped up and slightly to the side to expose it to Eridan. Karkat couldn't move. Again, the two parts in him warred, one trying to roll over and show his submissive side, and the other wanting to fight until he died or tore them apart. "Thhhhhhh."

  Eridan's grip on Karkat's hands loosened and he started to rub circles into his wrists. Karkat jerked his hand away, and reached up to yank Sollux's hands away from his face. He didn't want to be touched, he wanted to touch, to rip and hurt until he was left alone and safe. He sobbed, and Sollux grabbed onto his hand and squeezed gently.

  "Shhhhh." Eridan this time, mouth pressing against the base of Karkat's ear. Karkat shivered and sobbed again. Red slipped out his eyes, and Sollux wiped it away. Eridan continued to shoosh. Karkat's body slowly started to agree that he was safe and that he should relax. His tears ceased, and his body started to go limp. He whimpered a final time before dropping his head, and hiccuping.

  Eridan crawled off him, and slipped an arm around Karkat's body. He dragged Karkat into his lap, and Sollux scooted after, reaching to continue papping his face. Karkat looked up at them. Eridan's glasses were crooked, and Sollux's blood had stopped dripping. Karkat's head, clearer now, began to fill with guilt.

  Sollux reached up and pushed Eridan's glasses back into place. Karkat squeezed his eyes shut.

  "Sol, pile, my room. I'm gonna clean up the blood." Eridan said. He passed Karkat to Sollux, as easily as if he was a doll, and Sollux hooked his psionics around Karkat. Karkat squirmed and tried to curl up to protect his stomach. Sollux reached out and started to pet Karkat's hair as he carried him to Eridan's room.

  Sollux set Karkat on the pile and dropped down next to him. Karkat pulled a greenish cape over himself, over his head. He didn't want to be seen. He whimpered softly, and squeezed his eyes shut. Sollux pet him through the cape, grumbling about his broken tooth.

  Darkness and warmth surrounded Karkat, and he started to drift. He was barely awake when a cooler body sat on his other side and started to pet as well. He managed a weak chirrup, and then darkness took him completely.


	14. Darkleer/Redglare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Redglare takes Darkleer 'shopping.'

  "So I think it's a matter of keeping your glasses on!" Redglare swung her hand up and smacked it into Darkleer's face. He sighed heavily and reached up to push her hand down.

  "Glasses cannot possibly protect your eyes from the sun. Very few things can protect you from the sun. Which is why we sleep during the day. Do you remember sleep, Neophyte?" He glowered down at her and she grinned, her teeth lovely and sharp. He would kill for teeth like that. He ran his tongue over his own broken, chipped teeth and suppressed a sigh. Jealousy was not becoming.

  "Not at all! Come along, archer, we are in the market for sun reflective glasses, and if I find any, you'll buy a pair for both of us!" Redglare grabbed onto Darkleer's hand and began to walk. Darkleer stumbled a little as he followed, almost fearing that the lady would rip his hand off if he didn't come willingly. She was truly impossible sometimes.

  They were certainly an odd sight. A large, hulking blue blood being dragged down the market stands by a small teal blood with her favorite, bright, mutinous color on her clothing. Darkleer lowered his ears and ducked his head, trying not to gain any extra attention. If this got back to the Highblood, he would be deeply embarrassed.

  Redglare stopped in front of a glasses stand, and flipped through the racks. The blue blood running it looked Darkleer over and popped some bubble gum.

  "Better be able to pay for whatever she's about to break." The shop owner said.

  "Wha-" Darkleer said.

  "I broke something!" Redglare exclaimed in outrage and delight.

  Darkleer groaned inwardly and turned to look at Redglare. She held up two pieces of metal, grinning, and Darkleer reached for his wallet. She dropped them on the counter. He was far from pleased and he suspected that Redglare knew that. She had to hop a little to reach his cheek and plant a sweet kiss on it. He handed over the money for the glasses and the shop keeper pushed the broken pieces towards him. Darkleer didn't pick them up.

 "Come on, this place stinks!" She said. Her voice was much too loud. Darkleer felt himself getting smaller, and just nodded meekly as she grabbed his hand and began to drag him along. She babbled about how the entire place sold only junk and how no one was actually interested in anything useful and he nodded for a few minutes. Better to let it get out of her system, at least a little.

  Soon, though, he did hush her, reaching over to gently touch the back of her neck. She tipped her chin forward, exposing the back of her neck and making Darkleer's ears twitch and then turn blue. They were in public, for the gods' sake.

  "Be still, Neophyte. You're fine." He rumbled to her. She turned to give him an insulted look and he snorted. "Finish up your shopping. I want to be back before the light crisps me to death."

  "You're fine. Oh look! More glasses." Redglare said. She hopped over to the newest stand and looked through them. Darkleer could tell she was speeding up, however, wrapping up her mission as Darkleer had told her too. It wasn't long until she held up two matching, black tinted glasses. Darkleer groaned inwardly.

  "No." He said.

  "Yes." She said.

  Redglare dumped a handful of coins on the counter and the shop owner looked at them in disdain. She reached up and pushed them onto Darkleer's face. She didn't seem to notice that they were askew, and shoved her own new glasses on top of her red ones. She began to walk off and Darkleer ducked his head and followed.

  He waited until he thought she wouldn't notice, and took off his sunglasses and put them carefully into a pocket. He didn't want to break them. Having them in his pocket was safer then having them on his face.

  He watched as Redglare bought some food, dropping too much change on the counter and stalking off as she munched on the grub wrap she'd bought herself. He rolled his eyes and stalked after her, still trying to keep his head down. He reached out and brushed the backs of his knuckles against the back of her neck again. This time, Redglare shivered and twisted her head around to grin at him.

  It was a smile that looked like razor blades and Darkleer stared.

  She turned back to face front, and trotted off to the entrance of the market, finished. Darkleer followed along, hoping he could at least clean up the story before the Highblood found out.


	15. Feferi/Nepeta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post FefNepSprite, pre leaving Vriska's boat. Set in the canon timeline, wow,

  Feferi was sitting on the edge of Vriska's boat. Nepeta could see her, her pink coat and her hat nearly tipping off her head, standing out against the backdrop of black. Nepeta twitched her ears. Feferi's shoulders were slumphed a little. Nepeta tipped her head to the side, then pounced up on the side of the boat.

  "Fefurry?" She asked. Feferi hummed a note in answer. Nepeta tipped her head to the side and rubbed her cheek against Feferi's shoulder. Feferi was looking awfully discontent. Her fins were low, and her white eyes were half closed. Nepeta leaned up and nuzzled her cheek. She hated it when Feferi got like this.

  "Hi, Nepeta." Feferi said. Her voice was quiet. Nepeta whined and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

  "The furr-endly werecat wants to know why the fishy princess is sad." Nepeta stated, using a slightly too loud voice to show she was narrating. Feferi smiled weakly, and swung her legs a little. Nepeta nuzzled again and kissed her fin. She lifted up her hand to pap Feferi's other cheek, and Feferi turned to face her, pulling one leg up on the railing.

  "I just miss the way things used to be. Shore, it was sort of difficult at times! There were a lot of pressures and dangers, but..." Feferi paused, nibbling on her lip. Nepeta purred a note, and paped her cheek again.

  "I know. I miss Equius! And Karkat and my luses and Terezi." Nepeta said.

  Feferi glanced over her shoulder. Vriska was leaning against a mast, watching Aranea with a bored gaze as Aranea tried to explain something about the light aspect to Tavros, who was nodding and trying to say that he already heard what Aranea was saying. Feferi sighed and shook her head.

  "I didn't want to be here when I died." Feferi bit her lip again. Nepeta chirped softly. She glanced around the ship, and pointed to Sollux, who was leaning on Aradia. They were as far away from everyone else as they could get.

  "Maybe seeing mewr matesprite would make you feel better?" Nepeta asked. She knew that if she'd had a chance to talk to her quadrants, she'd take it instantly and be very happy about it, but Feferi only shrugged.

  "I don't reely think we're matesprites anymore. Or maybe that we ever were. We talked about a lot of feelings. Sometimes it sort of felt like he was thinking about Aradia, but that's unfair to both of them, I think." Feferi said. Nepeta tipped her head to the side. It did sound unfair, but that was a conversation for another time.

  "Do we need to update my shipping list?" That always made Nepeta feel better. Maybe it would make Feferi fell better?

  Feferi laughed weakly, lifting a hand to cover her mouth.

  "Yeah. Why we go do that?" Feferi asked. Nepeta grinned and hopped off the railing, onto the deck. She held out her hand, and Feferi took it. Feferi's hand was cold, and damp. Nepeta tugged and Feferi jumped down to the deck of the boat.

  "Come on. It's in the crew quaters." Nepeta said, starting to pull Feferi down. "We can talk about leaving Whiska's ship later."


	16. Grand Highblood/Darkleer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Grand Highblood will not be soothed with a few gentle pets and a kind word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by people in my life who will not stop cracking their bones.

  The Grand Highblood cooed loudly as Darkleer pressed his hands between the Highblood's shoulder blades. There was a sharp crack, and a teal blood on the other side of the room cringed. The Highblood had to hold back a giggle at their reaction. Low bloods were so weird about the makeshift chullropractic procedures Darkleer did for the Highblood. One had even vomited once when they'd heard the sounds the Highblood's back made. That had been messy. There was another crack, and the teal blood turned to stare in horror at them.

  The Highblood grinned at them, showing off his razor sharp teeth. The teal blood shivered and turned away, but made the tiniest flinch at the last little crackle as Darkleer pressed down in the middle of his back. The Highblood shuddered and went limp on the table. Darkleer grunted and pet once between the Highblood's horns.

  "There. Is that better?" Darkleer asked. The Highblood twisted onto his back and smiled adoringly up to the Archer. He nodded, cooing again, and reached up to Darkleer. "What do you want?"

  The Highblood grumbled, his smile turning into a pout near instantly. Darkleer knew very well what the Highblood wanted, and the Highblood knew that. He stuck out his tongue and Darkleer snorted. He half turned away before the Highblood reached up and grabbed onto a lock of his hair, tugging him closer.

  "Pony. Up." The Highblood commanded.

  "You are more then capable of walking on your own." Darkleer said. He pulled the Highblood's hand off of himself, and the Highblood noted the tenseness in Darkleer's hand. The blue blood's strength had always been interesting to the Highblood, how he always had to monitor himself. The Highblood allowed him a certain stiffness and refusal to have 'fun,' which was much more then he allowed his other soldiers. He'd found it reduced many of the accidents that happened when Darkleer was around. He smiled and twisted his hand, grabbing onto Darkleer's wrist.

  "Stay." The Highblood said. He tugged Darkleer back to the side of the bed, to face him, and Darkleer looked down at him. "You're so pretty."

  "Your words are as pretty as they are untruthful. I have duties. I cannot tend to you all night." Darkleer said. His voice was gentle, however, and he didn't pull his hand away.

  The Highblood smiled and pulled his hand closer, nuzzling his face against it.

  "My pretty pony. So handsome. So strong. Such a beautiful miracle." The Highblood cooed. Darkleer snorted again, but couldn't help the slight blue blush that covered his cheeks, and the thin trail of sweat that trickled down his neck.

  "Shush. You are being stupid again. Just like when you walk hunched over and crawl around like an animal." Darkleer said.

  The Highblood whined softly, and nibbled gently on his fingertips. "Gotta get through doorways somehow."

  "Stop that. I am not food." Darkleer said. He curled his fingers a little, pulling them out of nibbling range.

  "Stay, pony." The Highblood said. He nuzzled against Darkleer's hand again. It was warmer then the Highblood. He loved his pony's warmth. Not near enough to be too hot, but not cold enough to be one of his own brothers. The perfect temperature.

  "I have my work." Darkleer said. He tugged on his hand, but the Highblood hung onto it. Darkleer narrowed his eyes and leveled an glare at the clown. "Kurloz Makara, if you do not let go of my hand this instant-"

  "You'll hit me?"

  "It is tempting, but no. I will take you with me. Then again, who knows? Maybe that's not a good threat. Maybe you'll enjoy spending your night guarding a doorway that no one ever uses." Darkleer said, his voice eerily cheery. The Highblood shivered, and Darkleer flashed his 'smile.' It stretched unnaturally at the corners of his mouth, pulling it into some sort of twisted grimace.

  The Highblood let go of his hand, looking away and lowering his ears slightly in submission. He hated that smile. For one thing, it made his own look as scary as a wriggler's giggle. For another, Darkleer had a real smile, a small, timed thing that suited himself. Darkleer didn't have a face that was made for smiling, and he used that to his advantage.

  "Good boy." Darkleer said. He leaned down and brushed his lips over the Highblood's temple. The Highblood crossed his arms. He was not to be soothed with a kiss and a kind word. He was the Grand Highblood. "I will come eat dinner with you, and we can talk."

  The Highblood twitched his ears. He glanced up at Darkleer, who'd allowed his 'smile' to slip off his face, and was looking as serious as ever.

  "Does that sound good, Kurloz?" Darkleer asked. There was an uncertain timidness to his voice that made something in the Highblood's pusher squeeze. The Highblood huffed, but nodded. Darkleer looked pleased, his eyes softening a little. "Good. I will see you you tonight."

  "Hmph." The Highblood rolled over, showing his back to Darkleer. Darkleer pet his hair, careful not to allow his fingers to hook into any of the blood soaked or matted parts. The Highblood held still for him, a reluctant purr rumbling out of him.

  Darkleer drew his hand away after petting the Highblood a final time between the horns. The Highblood twisted around to watch him walk away, honking softly. He was not to be soothed so easily, he told himself as he closed his eyes and drifted off into a nap.


	17. Grand Highblood/Summoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You want him.

  You're a highblood. He's a low blood. You've lived for centuries. He's barely a decade. You're huge. He's broad, but not tall. And he's only broad for a low blood. He's slimmer then nearly any sea dweller you've seen and slimmer then a good deal of your own brothers. You could crush him. And by the messiahs, you want him. You want him like you want food to eat and water to drink and it hurts to look at him sometimes, hurts somewhere deep in your chest.

  There's a certain...intoxicating feeling in wanting him. There's an excitement in pining after something that you know you shouldn't, in crossing that taboo line. You haven't been with anyone lower then a teal in your life, and nothing other then a clown in centuries. Your sisters and brothers might disown you for watching so closely over that bronze, if they knew your intentions. You are, after all, the Grand Highblood. You should know better then to play low blood games.

  They don't know, however. You don't tell them or show them and no one would dare to try to read your mind. You'd tear them to shreds if they tried to use their voodoos against you.

  So you're free to pine after him, to pretend like you can have him. It's harder to pretend like that can ever become a reality after he slips up and shows his wings to you. He doesn't know. He doesn't know that you followed him out to the woods. (You always have your eyes on him, or someone else's eyes on him. If he escaped, left his training, who would you occupy your time with?) He didn't mean to, you think, he was pulling off his shirt and his torso was covered in bandages. You had watched as he pulled at the bandages, itching under them, and then they'd slipped off. You could smell his fear as he'd yanked them back on to cover up his wings, his beautiful, sparkling wings.

  It's harder. But you still do it. You pretend like he's going to be yours, even as you can see him aging as you remain the same. The castes are far too apart to allowed you any sort of pretense as to how soon he'll die. You find yourself thinking over this more and more as the sweeps pass. One night, one of your brother accuses you of moping one night and you nearly shove his head through a wall. Most of your sisters and brothers start to avoid you after that, like they did after your dragon died.

  It gets worse as time goes on. You see him bleeding and long to reach out and pet his warm skin, to wipe away his blood, to pet his wings, to sooth him in every way you know how. He looks angry and you want to tell him to still himself, to let go of his anger, that it's not fitting for him. He looks tired and you want to order him to take the night off. But you do none of these things. You cannot show favoritism. That would only single both of you out for ridicule and inspection. So you only watch him.

  Time passes so quickly, too quickly, and then he's middle aged, and he's mad, and he's fire and fury and hate and when he leaves all you see is red. The red of his clothes, of his hair, of his anger, of his feelings, and you reach out with your purple, but his red burns you. There's nothing you can do to stop him from leaving.

  You promise yourself that if you can't have him, no one will.

  You keep that promise. Along with his wings.


	18. Mindfang/Darkleer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mindfang getting her arm was a little different then what she'd written.

  Mindfang was slumphed over the table, shaking, when Darkleer found her. Her eyes were mostly closed, and she was muttering. Her cueball was clutched in her hand in a way that made him think of a claw. One of her arms were missing, and blue was dripping and pooling on the ground.

  He sighed deeply, and pinched the bridge of his nose. For a moment, he just stared at her, then he reached out and gently scooped her up. She grunted, and squirmed. He looked down at her and she looked back. There was a trickle of blood dripping out of her mouth. She must've bitten her cheek, he thought as he turned and started to carry her down the hall.

  Mindfang stayed still in his arms, for the most part. He knew that he should cull her. That was what the empire did. The same empire that banished him. He set her on his resting platform and ran a hand through her hair. She chuckled softly, and then wheezed out a curse. She winced and then tried to speak. Darkleer leaned down, tipping his ear towards her.

  "C-can't die. Time to, turn in that, favor." She whispered. She lifted her remaining arm and grabbed onto the place where his shoulder and neck met. She pulled him closer. "Horuss. Make me an arm."

  "Hush." Darkleer said quietly. She grunted and let her arm drop back. "We need to stop the bleeding. When the bleeding is stopped, then we can talk about your arm. What happened to you?"

  "Fate, my friend." Mindfang said. She grinned. One of her teeth were chipped.

  "Oh." Said Darkleer. "You're getting blood on my resting platform."

  "Sorry. My arm."

  "The missing one?"

  "The robot one."

  "Oh."

  "I can take care of myself."

  "Oh." Darkleer stood up. He rubbed the back of his hand, and Mindfang smirked up to him. He jerked slightly when he realized he'd been staring and quickly turned to go. If there was ever a time to return the favor of her sticking her neck out for him, it was now. He just wished it wasn't so messy. But he could never say no to her. He had a feeling she knew that.


	19. Kankri/Porrim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kankri tries something new.

  Kankri's mouth was dry. It was probably because if the gag. It was soft, the softest of fabric. His wrists were tied as well, loosely. His eyes were on them, and he pulled on his wrists. The knot held, but just barely. If he pulled, he could get his hands free in an instant. Nothing else was tied.

  He looked up. Porrim was sitting, her legs crossed. She was wearing soft sweat pants and an over sized sweater in a soft jade color. Even her hair was different, pulled up in a loose pony tail. The whole scene was calming, from the soft pile he was sitting on, to the gray walls and the carpeted floor.

  It was, however, very similar to the culling procedures that had been practiced on Beforus, and he was weary. Porrim wasn't trying to touch him, which was unusual behavior for her. She'd usually be trying to pap his cheek or touch his shoulder or hug him or fix his sweater. He hated it when she did that.

  Kankri shifted in the pile, and Porrim's hand twitched, but did not reach for him. He tried to breathe through his nose. He could do this. He could handle being tied up for his moirail for a while. It had been his own suggestion. He'd read a paper on it, talking about how it might help one to calm down, trusting their moirail completely like this. She smiled when he sagged back against the pile, and scooted herself over to the edge of it.

  "Kankri?" Porrim asked. He grunted through his rag. "How do you feel?"

  How did he feel? He felt muted. He felt like he was allowing Porrim to do what Beforus had tried to do to him.

  He grunted again, then reached up and pulled the rag out of his mouth. "I apologize, Porrim, but I don't think this is working. The set up is too similar to culling, and I do not feel comfortable tied up and gagged."

  "Oh. All right, let me take off your ropes." Porrim said. Kankri nearly took his hands away, but her fingers were already untying the ropes before he could. She was careful not to touch his skin, only one nail brushing against his skin once, and took away the rope.

  Kankri breathed a sigh of relief he didn't know he'd been holding, and rubbed his wrists. "Thank you, that is much better."

  "You're welcome." Porrim said. Neither of them spoke for a few moments, and Kankri realized that this was probably meant to be an awkward moment. After a moment, Porrim cleared her throat. "How does a movie sound?"

  Kankri nodded, and she stood up. Kankri followed suit, and they walked to the door. He smiled briefly, and she returned the gesture before turning and leading the way down to the hall to her relaxation room.

  Porrim sat on the couch, and Kankri joined her, sitting as far away as he could be, and still be on the couch. She took the hint and scooted to the other side of the couch. Kankri was pleased that Porrim had begun to listen to him and not touch him when she wanted to. To her, it was probably small, but to Kankri, it was one of his pet peeves, and something that was extremely annoying.

  She picked up the remote, and flicked through her digital movie selection. Kankri coughed into his hand when a romance between a rust blood and a blue blood that was particularly well done came on the screen. It was one of his favorites, mostly because it touched on topics about issues between the quadrants. Porrim rolled her eyes, but put it on.

  As the movie played, Kankri slowly began to edge himself down the couch. Every time he began to feel too close, he'd stop. When he was about half way down the couch, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Porrim rest her arm on the back of the couch. He exhaled slowly and scooted himself the rest of the way, leaning on her side.

  He braced himself for her to touch him, but she refrained. When the movie was about half way through, however, she began to move her hand down. She rested it on his shoulder, barely touching. Kankri flicked his ears and rested his head on her shoulder. This was almost...nice. Almost comfortable. He smiled a little, curling his legs up under him. Perhaps not all the paling techniques would work with him, but this worked just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If only their canon relationship was this healthy and not both of them just being spiteful and Kankri rejecting Porrim and Porrim not listening to Kankri. :)


	20. Eridan/Gamzee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan takes on Gamzee's hair duties for a night.

"Ow, Gam, gentle!" Eridan snapped. He hissed over his shoulder and swatted behind himself. There was a wobbling 'hoooonk' that rose and fell in volume. Eridan twisted to glower at Gamzee, and Gamzee smiled. It was a lazy look, eyes half closed and tiny dimples in his cheeks. Eridan grumbled and faced front again. 

"Sorry, Bro, 's all kinds of hard, dealing with the brush." Gamzee said. Eridan snorted, and Gamzee ran the brush through Eridan's hair again. "Didn't mean to hurt a brother."

"Sure, Gam. Just be gentler." Eridan said. Gamzee honked again. The next brush stroke tugged at a knot, and Eridan hissed trough his teeth. "Gamzee!"

"Oops." 

"You know what, just, gimmie the brush." Eridan said. He twisted and snatched it out of Gamzee's hand. "You're clearly under qualified for such a task as this." 

"Aw, bro, no." Gamzee's face fell and his eyebrows drew together. "We're doin' each other's hair, ain't we?" 

"We were, yes, until you proved your self incapable." Eridan shoved Gamzee's shoulders, and Gamzee tipped onto his back. He pouted up to Eridan, and wrinkled his nose. Eridan snorted, and crawled on top of him. He lowered the brush and Gamzee squeaked as it was dragged through his hair. 

"Brother, no." Gamzee protested, batting at Eridan's hands. 

Eridan huffed. "I've been tortured enough. It's your turn now. "

Eridan ran the brush in quick, short strokes, starting at the tips of Gamzee's hair. Gamzee squeaked and whined as his hair was brushed, his ears tipping down. Eridan smiled a little as he watched Gamzee's hair smooth out and began to fall around his face instead of sticking up at odd angles. He'd have to wash it later, as well, but a brushing was doing a lot for it. 

Eridan rolled off of Gamzee after nearly half an hour, and sat up. Gamzee sat up as well, eyes wide, and looked at Eridan. 

"See? That's how yo-" Eridan would've sworn he'd actually heard a 'poof' sound as Gamzee's hair spronged back out, looking remarkably smooth and sticking out in nearly a halo around Gamzee's head. 

Gamzee honked loudly, and jumped up. Before Eridan could protest, Gamzee darted out of the room, pulling himself into an air vent and disappearing.

Eridan slowly laid down on his back, and stared up at the ceiling. 

-caligulasAquarium began pestering you!-

CA: kar i just wwanted you to knoww that im quittin   
CA: you can havve gamzees hair duties back  
CG: YOU ARE SO WEAK OH MY *GOD*  
CG: HOW LONG DID YOU EVEN HAVE IT  
CA: i dont wwant to talk about this

-caligulasAquarium ceased pestering you!-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really explicitly pale but it's good enough for me.


	21. Condesce/Handmaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Handmaid is not caring or kind.

  You're not kind or caring. You are cold and harsh and you care not for a troll who killed you. Still.

  Still.

  Still. No one else cares for her. No one else can see her rages, her fury, the pain at the loss of John and the pain that she was under His thumb the whole time. There is no one who will forgive her. The Signless, the Summoner, their friends, spiteful and angry. The Highblood and the Orphaner, bored and long since moved on. The Helm? You think he's the worst. You think she might have once cared for him in her own sick and twisted way, and he loathes her with a passion you did not think could exist in anything other then a book. Perhaps she could stand it if it were romantic, but this passion is fury and anger and hate and he can't stand her. She is alone. It's a feeling you know well.

  You remember when you first saw her, as a child, how many dangers she fought. How she slew the empress before her and rose up, higher then any empress before her. How she lead her people to the stars and beyond. How she destroyed galaxies with her helm and her trident. How she waited until the end of the universe, only to find herself tied up in His plans.

  There's a part of you that pities her, Meenah Peixes, the girl that would be queen. There's a part of you that wants to help her. She is, after all, the one that freed you from Him. She is ruthless and she is extraordinary. You formed the empire that she would be born in. You rose up the carnival of clowns and tended to Gl'bglyb when no one else could. You killed rebellions before they could rise. You made sure no one harmed her.

  Some would argue with you. She's evil, you're evil, you didn't have that big of a hand in Alternia, she isn't that amazing. If so, then you can be liars together.

  For a long time, you simply watched her. She was angry and she hurt anyone that came near her. She was alone and searched out no one. No one could soothe her. She does not deserve forgiveness for her sins. Neither do you. Your soul reached out to hers, in pity and aching, in companionship. We are the same, you thought, we have no one and are feared.

  So you approached.

  And she let you.

  And your hands are tangled with her hair, and your foreheads are pressed together, and you are both powerful and nothing can stop you.

  You are neither kind nor caring.  But she isn't either. You will not be forgiven. You do not need to be forgiven. You are not caring, but you care for her. You are not kind, but you will pretend to be, for her. 

  You are the Handmaid and you are not kind or caring, but you will be for her. 


	22. Gamzee/Sollux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux pays Gamzee a visit

  "Ugh..." You let go of the door and shake some sopor off of your hand. Gamzee's house is a mess. There's one wheeled bicycles, sopor, blood, pictures, books, and horns scattered from one end of the hive to the other. You wrinkle up your nose and start to walk around the hive, kicking things out of your way. (Two wheeled bicycles were much better, in your opinion.)

  "Gamzee! Hey!" You shout. After a few moments, there's a sleepy sounding honk from the 'coon. You sigh loudly and walk over. Gamzee's in it, curled up so tight it must be painful. He barely fits in it anymore. He's really too old to be acting like this. There's a pie tin on the ground and you kick it so hard it crumples when it hits the wall.

  You reach in and grab onto his shoulders, then shake until he honks and opens his eyes. You tell him to get out and he starts the process. It looks painful, how he squeezes himself out through the hole and lands in a heap just outside of it. Sopor drips from his clothing and his hair. You pinch your nose with one hand and lift him up with your psionics. He wriggles a little in your grasp. It's a shame he's so drugged out. You really want him to appreciate what you do for him.

  You walk outside, and throw Gamzee into the ocean. Well, dip him, really, setting him in the shallows and keeping your psionics around his scrawny body as he starts to flail and sputter and wake up properly. The green slime slips off his body, and when most of it is gone, you pull him back out and set him on the sand.

  Gamzee twists in the sand and looks up at you, giving you an absolutely terrifying look, his teeth bared and his eyebrows drawn together. It's a few moments before either of you move, however, and when he does, it's slowly. It's as if every bone inside of him aches. He slinks towards you, arms slack and shoulders hunched up. He comes to a stop in front of you and just stares. You reach up and cup his cheek. His wet paint smears on your hand but you don't say anything about it.

  "Thh, Gamthee." You say. You start to back up, and grab onto him with your psionics, pulling him along with you but not letting him get any closer then you're comfortable with. You know how unstable he is, just as well as anyone else does.

  "Brother," He starts, his voice rasping, but you use your psionics to gently press his mouth closed. You shoosh him and gently pet his cheek.

  The house is filthy, but the bathroom is almost all right. You lead him into it and pick him up with your psionics. He squawks and squirms but you ignore him and place his sopping body into the bathtub and tell him to turn on the water. He does, and then he strips off his clothing. You use your psionics to scrub him with soap and tip his head back unto the water.

  It's a relief when he's clean, and you let him climb out of the bathtub himself, giving him an encouraging smile. He grunts and leans his lanky body on yours. You reach up to pap his cheek, and lead him back to the living room. He drops onto what might be a couch, and is out almost instantly.

  You grimace and shake your head. But you know better then to try to make him stay up. He needs his sleep. And you might as well clean up his hive while you're here. Not even you can stand something so filthy.


	23. Condesce/Grand Highblood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for blood and injuries.

  The Condesce had been in a lot of battles. This one was perhaps particularly bloody and disgusting, but it wasn't anything out of the norm. She dragged the tips of her trident through a smear of violet blood, and scowled as she saw a sea dweller that had caused it, with a knife in his throat.

  She crouched down and used her trident to flip them over. A male, one of her navy captains. He'd been smart, quick on the uptake, castist, and completely loyal. She hissed through her fangs and stood up. She looked around her, her fins flaring out in anger. How dare someone lay hands on her people, how dare they kill one of her own, and how dare he die without her permission.

  Someone would pay, someone would die screaming for the pain to stop. Her eyes scanned the battled field, but found no one to take her anger out on. Everyone was dead or gone.

  Someone set their hand on her shoulder and she spun. She only waited to see that they bore no fins before spinning her trident and driving it into their shoulder. There was a crying honk of pain, and she jerked the trident out then tried again, aiming this time for their face.

  "Meenah, _stop_!" Her trident stopped, inches from his face. It was stopped by his own hand, purple dripping out of it and onto his face.

  "Clownfish?" The Condesce asked. He shoved away her trident, and it pulled out of his flesh with a wet squelching sound. "Kurloz."

  "Yeah. Empress be all up and fearing for her life?" He asked, his voice weary. He pressed his uninjured hand to the wound in his shoulder.

  "Nah, clownfish." The Condesce didn't realize she had been panting. She tried to calm her breathing down. "Zarnic's dead."

  The clown blinked. The Condesce tried to read his emotions, but his paint did a good job of concealing his emotions.

  "Sorry, Peixes. Fishy didn't seem half bad." The Highblood said after a short pause. The Condesce snorted.

  "He was one of my best." She said. She turned and started to walk back to the camp. There was nothing else to do. The bodies would be burned to cut down on the day walker population by some of the lower clowns. The Highblood fell into step behind her. "They're going to pay."

  "Mm. Good. Take it out on their leader. Scar Zarnic's sign into his back, brand it or carve it. Do it as soon as you get back, with no explanation. Drag him out in front of the masses and show them and then explain." The Highblood said. "Let them know your rage and that no sea dweller is to ever be touched."

  He reached out and stroked slowly down the side of her arm. The Condesce shivered.

  "You see, clownfish, this is why I keep ya around." She said. He chuckled and slid his hand up. he paped her cheek once, and then started to walk ahead.

  "I'll get the fires hot. Branding is worse by far, in my opinion." He said. The Condesce chuckled softly, and squeezed her hands around her trident. No one knew better how to calm her then her clown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't write enough of my murder babies for how hard I ship them. This is long over due.


	24. Summoner/Psiioniic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Summoner gets called in to deal with the Psiioniic.

  The moons were shining brightly on the cave opening, and the the Summoner whistled as he walked into it. He lit up his hands with his fire as he walked deeper. The cave walls were filled with drawings, made mostly from olive blood. He ran his fingers over the paintings, barely touching it. The bundle made an unhappy noise, and Rufioh walked over and sat down next to it.

  "Hey, Mit." Rufioh cooed.

  "Thup, 'Fioh?" The bundle rolled over, and the Psiioniic popped his head out. He gave a weak grin, and stuck out a hand, making a grabby motion at Rufioh. Rufioh chuckled and scooted closer. He pulled Mituna into his lap, blankets and all, and squeezed onto him. "Ow."

  "You're not hurt, shut up." Rufioh said. He cradled Mituna in one arm, and smiled down to him. He lifted his wings up and curled them around Mituna. He used his other hand to cup Mituna's cheek and stroked his chin with his thumb. "There, better?"

  "Noooo. I'm dying." Mituna whined loudly. He pulled his mouth into a tragic downward turn and mock-whimpered. Rufioh burst into laughter. "Hey! I'm dying, you jerk, don't laugh at me."

  "Y-yeah, sure, dying, I can tell, y'know, by all the dying." Rufioh said. Mituna whined again, even louder, and lifted a hand to bat at Rufioh's face.

  "You're horrible. I hate you."

  "I know, I'm just the worst. Would you like something to eat, I brought honey." Rufioh took his hand away from Mituna's face and reached into the pack at his side. He brought out a jar of plain honey, and Mituna took it.

  "You're thtill awful." Mituna said, opening the jar. He started to gobble down the honey. Rufioh snorted, and flicked Mituna's ear.

  "Yeah, yeah, sure, I'm going to take you to my place so we can chill for a bit, okay?" Rufioh said. Mituna grunted, stuffing his face with the honey. Rufioh slipped both arms under Mituna, and stood, cradling the yellow blood to his chest. He turned and walked out of the cave.

  The walk back to Rufioh's hive was quiet, Mituna focusing on eating the honey and licking it out of the jar. Rufioh brought him inside his hive, and sat on the fluffiest recliner. He pulled Mituna's blankets closer around him and pet his hair.

  Mituna grumbled and squirmed. He pressed his face into Rufioh's shoulder.

  "They're all idioth." He muttered. Rufioh nodded, and ran his hands through Mituna's hair. "I'm jutht going to thleep forever."

  "All right, you can do that, I'll just hold you, forever." Rufioh said. Mituna nodded, closing his eyes.

  "Thounds good."


	25. Vriska/Feferi

  You meet Feferi when you're out hunting for your luses. Your mom wants kids to eat, and you've given up tying to find other solutions. It must be trolls, dead or alive. You grin when you see her, and try to get in her head. You speak to her mind, telling her that she wants to walk over to you, and follow you to your house. Nothing happens. You press your fingertips into your temple and try harder.

  Then she turns and your jaw drops.

  She's beautiful.

  There really is no other word for her.

  She's tall and muscly and has some baby fat, her cheeks chubby. She has dimples and it's adorable. You shake your head, trying to clear it, and then stare at her. She's wearing gold, dripping with jewelry. A highblood. There's a pink stone in her gold crown, and fins and gills on her face. Fuchsia. No wonder you couldn't do anything to her.

  She frowns, and hefts up her trident. She flings it and you watch as it pierces a luses. What's she doing? You follow her, making sure she doesn't see you, and watch her for so long you almost don't have the time to catch other trolls for your mom to eat. It turns out she drags it to an ocean and swims down with it, then swims back up to hunt more. She must have a hungry mother as well.

  You meet her again online, surprisingly. Terezi's friend, Nepeta, knows her, and you meet her on a memo. She seemed too bright and happy, and she was usually accompanied by what she called her 'Orphaner.' He was a bit whiney and childish at times, but he just wanted attention and usually he calmed down when someone talked to him.

  You keep tabs on her, and learn a bit. Her name is Feferi Pexies, she's the empress's descendent, she's going to be empress, she likes cuttlefish, and is surprisingly nonviolent. She has a temper that flares up sometimes, and she's condescending but sweet at the same time. She cares about people, deeply, and she runs on her emotions.

  She seems like the sort of person to run on energy bars and caffeinated drinks for fourteen days with twenty minute naps every seventeen hours. You don't really think about it the first time you ask her if she's been sleeping well, and the two of you have a forty five minute conversation on how to make waterproof sopor. You direct her to Gamzee in the end, and she thanks you.

  Feferi listens to your stories, and admires them, and gives you tips on how to care for your luses and how to steer her towards eating part lusii and part troll. Your mom doesn't really like that, but if she's in a good mood, she'll take it.

  The next time you see her is you run into each other in the middle of hunting. You teem up after a few minutes of awkward dancing around the subject. You drag off the trolls to your mom and she drags the lusii to her mom. This starts to become a habit. It's easier to kill when you have someone to share the blame with. Feferi's a good fighter, and that's what you tell anyone who asks.

  You certainly don't tell them that you pull her back from the edge, that you curl your finger in her hair when she can't see straight, and lead her to the water. You certainly don't tell them that when the guilt becomes too much, Feferi makes the kill for you.

  You think both of you prefer it that way, that this secret stays between the two of you.


	26. Mindfang/Disciple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We should help those in need. It's the decent thing to do, and we knew that, once. The Signless's voice rang in her ears and so The Disciple reached over, and touched the pirate's mangled arm.

The Disciple slunk over a fallen tree and ducked under some brush. She was hunting a troll who'd come too close to her cave. If they were an empire spy of some sort, she'd have to kill them. Her mate would've disagreed, but that was the sort of thing that had gotten him killed. She hissed under her breath and tried to shove away the memory.

It was a female, and a blue blood, if her senses were as accurate as she'd trained them to be. Her smell was of the most help, when she was hunting like this. The Disciple came to a stop and stared. A woman, blue, was kneeling over a pond, holding a bloody stump of an arm. The Disciple sniffed at the air, and stepped into the small clearing the woman was in.

"Who's there?" The woman looked up and twisted to stare at the Disciple. The Disciple stareed back and the woman lifted her good arm, brandishing a dagger. "Who're you?"

"I am the Signless's Disciple." The Disciple said. "But you can call me Meulin. You're no empire spy."

"No. I am not. Who's the Signless?" The woman asked. The Disciple crossed her arms. She wasn't going to drag up those memories right now, and this bloodied troll wasn't in the mood to be talking about equality.

"Who are you?"

"Mindfang, pirate. Wanted, hunted, dumped. Aranea will do." The woman spat a glob of blood to the side and sat down heavily. "If you're going to kill me, do it quick."

The Disciple snorted. "I'm not going to kill you. Mew're not worth it. You'll bleed out soon enough anyway."

"Someone's a cold hearted litt-"

"My mate died, my mother was stolen and sold to a brine breather, and my brother was made into an engine. You'll excuse me if I'm not in the best of moods." The Disciple interrupted. "You hardly look like someone who wants anyone's pity."

"You're not wrong, kid. Have a seat. The water's fantastic." Mindfang said. The Disciple grunted, and crouched next to the water. She watched Mindfang try to cup water and pour it over her wounds. After a while, Mindfang gave up and huffed.

 _We should help those in need. It's the decent thing to do, and we knew that, once._ The Signless's voice rang in her ears and so The Disciple reached over, and touched the pirate's mangled arm. Mindfang winced, but didn't fight as the Disciple uncovered it. The Disciple tore off a piece of her own clothing, and dipped it in the water, then started to wipe the arm off.

The blood was already clotting a little, but the arm wouldn't heal on it's own. The Disciple cleaned the arm as best she could, then ripped off another piece of cloth and tied it near the shoulder, tightly. Mindfang grit her teeth and gave grunts from time to time, and once, a lot groan of pain. But that was all.

"There. That's the best I can do. Do you have a mate of some kind to help you?" She asked. Mindfang shook her head. The Disciple sighed quietly. The right thing to do would be to bring the pirate back to her cave. Her heart squeezed slightly in pity when Mindfang lifted her head and her hair fell out of her face. She was missing an eye, and her mouth was set in a straight line. This was not a woman who wanted pity in the form of someone crying for her injuries, and the Disciple was charmed. Even if the woman did have quadrants, the Disciple didn't think she'd go running to them.

"Come on." The Disciple said. She stood up slowly, and offered her hand to Mindfang. Mindfang ignored the hand and stood up. Then she took it and squeezed onto it. The Disciple smiled slightly, and turned. She started to walk, leading the pirate to her cave. 


	27. Cronus/Kurloz/MItuna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It might be worth a shot.

Cronus walks up and he's grinning, and he has shark teeth and smells like salt and nicotine. You look at him and smile and he twitches his fins and his smile falters. Something aches somewhere deep inside you as he quickly walks off, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

He shoves Mituna, and you see it just as you round the corner and anger flashes up and before you can stop yourself, his face is smashing into the ground and your knee is crushing his ribcage. You are loyal to Mituna, you tell yourself, even as you think about how much you want to wipe the blood from Cronus's cheek. The cheek you bloodied.

You have to remind yourself of that when Mituna comes back smelling like Cronus, purring and relaxed and smelling like that fish. You are loyal to your poor little palemate, even if he is not. You snuggle him into the pile, and you don't even need to pap him or use your voodoos to help him relax enough to fall asleep. Strangely enough, you are not jealous.

You are not loyal, you think as you hold Cronus back from Damara's wrath. She's spitting her insults and he's cowering, he is a coward, and you stand between them, one arm twisted back and around Cronus's wrist. When she leaves, you turn around and smack the side of his head, so light it's almost a pap. You try not to look back when you walk away.

You are not loyal, you think as Cronus's hands curl with your own, and his breath meets with yours as you exchange soft kisses. His pile is so soft, and his skin is smooth, and you don't mind his palm brushing up against your cheek, even when it smears your paint.

You don't speak, and you don't mind, when you come home to Cronus and Mituna curled on the couch, both fast asleep. You watch them, and you pretend that the pity swelling up in your diamond is only for Mituna.

It finally clicks.

It _finally_ clicks for you.

You're angry, angrier then you've ever been, and you're screaming at Meulin as blood drips from your torn stitches. She's hissing and in your face and her voice is too loud and then hands are on your face and holding back your wrists, and you're pulled backwards. Cold hands, on your wrists, stronger and keeping you down. Warm hands, comforting hands, on your face. You growl and snap at the hands on your face, but you don't make it to them because Cronus lets go of your wrists and grabs onto your hair.

They're shorter then you, and weaker, but they manage to wrestle you to the ground, and Mituna straddles your chest while Cronus works on your hands. It's a miracle when they get to work, soft smooth promises and assurances from Cronus, and sputtering half insults from Mituna, mixed with pets and purrs and paps. A recipe to make even the angriest purple calm.

It's only when the three of you are in Mituna's home, curled on his pile that you begin to wonder if this might actually work, if the three of you can be like this. You decide it might as well be worth a shot. Cronus and Mituna don't seem to be complaining, either.

So it might be worth a shot.


	28. Vriska/Kanaya

-arachnidsGrip started pestering you!-

AG: Heeeeeeeey.  
AG: Just got 8ack from hunting.  
AG: You there?  
AG: Helloooooooo?  
AG: Ugh.  
GA: Hello  
AG: Haha finally!  
GA: I Was Sewing  
AG: Yeah, yeah, WHATEVER.   
GA: How Did Your Hunt Go  
AG: It went gr8. Terezi and me kicked some serious 8utt. We stole some of Eridan's slavves.   
GA: I Imagine That Did Not Make Him Happy.  
AG: Are you joking????????   
AG: He was so mad! >::::)  
AG: He stole some of my guns 8ut I didn't need them so I let him have them.  
GA: That Was Gracious Of You  
GA: And It Would Explain Why He Burst Into My Inbox With Threats To You And Terezi And A Wwarning That I 'best wwatch that spiders back'  
AG: Ahahahahahahaha  
AG: Hang on I'm getting 8lood on my key8oard.  
GA: What  
AG: Just a scratch miss fussyfangs!  
GA: What Happened  
AG: Noooooooothing.  
GA: You Are Lying  
AG: I'm going to go ask Equius for a towel.   
GA: It Will Be Covered In Sweat And Horse Hair I Advise Against This  
GA: Hello  
GA: Vriska  
GA: ...  
AG: 8ack!  
GA: Did You Manage To Secure A Moisture Soaker Uper?  
AG: No.   
GA: Oh  
AG: Equius is 8eing a mule!!!!!!!!  
AG: He locked me out of his hive.   
GA: Again  
GA: Perhaps You Should Ask Your Moirail To Come Help You.  
AG: My what?  
GA: Terezi  
GA: Your Moirail  
AG: Terezi isn't my moirail.  
GA: She's Not  
AG: No, she's my sister. I don't have one, haha.  
GA: I See Can I Suggest Cleaning Your Wounds Maybe With A Shower And Some Disinfectant Perhaps  
AG: Fiiiiiiiine, 8ut only 8ecause I know you'll keep perstering me until I do!  
GA: Thank You  
AG: ::::)  
AG: Catch you later miss 8ossy!  
GA: All Right  
-arachnidsGrip ceased trolling you!-

  
GA: ...  
GA: <>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eridan's 'slaves' were low bloods he'd bribed to roleplay with him and Vriska, and most of Vriska's wounds were because her spider mom didn't appreciate the amount of food Vriska brought her.


	29. Cronus/Kankri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for more dysfunctional relationships.

Kankri is reading a book, sitting on a fountain rim, when Cronus finds him. Cronus drops down next to him, and flings his arm over Kankri's shoulder, and Kankri cringes as if he's been hit. He shrugs Cronus's arm off and turns to give him a weary look.

"Yo, chief, didn't mean to offend ya." Cronus says with a wide grin. Kankri taps his foot, and nods once.

"As long as you didn't mean to, but you really should warn someone before you touch them." Kankri says. Kankri stiffens when Cronus touches his arm, prodding it with a finger. "Cronus."

"Kank." Cronus says. Kankri can hear the grin in his voice. So that's the mood Cronus is in. Kankri shuts the book with a small slam. Cronus won't leave without some attention, and Kankri can supply that.

"I said, warn someone before you touch them." Kankri says, irritation in his voice. Cronus has the biggest, most irritating grin on his face when Kankri turns to face him. Kankri has to bite back his tongue to keep from calling Cronus an attention whore.

"Hey, Kank, I'm goin' ta touch ya." Cronus says, and then he slings his arm around Kankri's shoulders again. Kankri shoves his arm off, and scoots down the fountain rim.

"Cronus, stop it, you're triggering me." Kankri says. Cronus leans after him, and suddenly his mouth looks too much like a shark's mouth, and he smells too much like salt. Kankri's head spins and he sees a cape and every sense is screaming 'DANGER' at him. He barely holds back a squeal when Cronus leans on his side, and he freezes up.

Then suddenly it's all too much, and Kankri stands up and runs, and he can hear Cronus laughing behind him like it's all some big joke, but it's not.

It's not a joke, because Cronus is Dualscar, and Dualscar hurt him, and he can feel where the bullet hit his thigh. Kankri wheezes, and lands against the door to his hive, then scurries in. He is not Signless, but Cronus is Dualscar. Somewhere, he knows that's not fair, but he can't help thinking it.

He curls up in his closet, shaking and crying, red tricking down his face, and waits. Soon, there's a knock, and Cronus opens the door and sits on the other side of the closet. Kankri doesn't look at him, and Cronus keeps his mouth shut.

It's rare to force Cronus into silence, into compliance. But it seems Kankri has managed it. Cronus stays on his side of the closet, and Kankri stays on his. After a while, Kankri apologizes, and Cronus accepts it, and they both act as if was Kankri's fault.

After a while, Kankri asks Cronus to make tea, and Cronus does it, asking for a hug before he pases if over. Kankri gives him the hug, too weary to object, even though it makes his skin crawl and the tears start back up. He locks the door when he goes back into the closet, and Cronus only knocks on the door for half an hour before getting bored and leaving Kankri alone.


	30. Jane/Tavros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tavros has a nightmare.

Pain shot through Tavros's midsection. Blue blood dripped from his face, from his hands. The sound of metal legs on a metal floor rang in his ears. Rust blood was on his shoes. The smell of sweat clogged up his nose. Red and green text surrounded him. He screamed and screamed and screamed.

Then pain flared up the side of his face, and everything else dropped away. He sat up straight in bed, sobbing out a sound. He wiped messily at his face, and sniffled loudly. He was in his hive, the hive he shared with Aradia and Sollux and Roxy and Jane. It was night, and he was in his room, the one they'd made look like something out of pupa pan. The wall across from him had a picture of tinkerbull and the Summoner.

"Tavros?" He twisted, and looked at Jane. She was wearing his shirt, and it hung down almost to her knees. Her glasses were askew He stared at her, shaking. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, and rubbing the palm of her hand. "You were crying."

"Oh, sorry." Tavros answered. He didn't know what else to say. Jane reached over and stroked where she'd slapped, making a luses-like sound of concern.

"Oh, dear, that's going to bruise." She said. He sniffled, and leaned into her hand. "Do you want to tell me what it was about this time?"

"Vriska, I think." He said. He pressed a kiss to her palm. Jane waited for a few moments, and when no more information was given, she made a sad little noise, then stood up.

"Well, come on! I'll make you some cookies and hot cocoa. Doesn't that sound nice?" She smiled at him, little dimples showing, and he swung his legs out of the bed before he even thought about it. He looked down, and he had flesh legs. He wiggled his toes. That felt amazing. Finally, he stood up and grabbed onto her hand.

"Okay." He said. She squeezed onto his hand and pulled him out of the room. He focused on her, on watching how her hair moved, and how quiet her footsteps were. Easier, and so much better, to focus on Jane then on the nightmares. She pulled him into the kitchen, and started to get out the things she'd need to make cookies.

He sat down on the floor, putting his back to the wall. They were both quiet, which the other occupants of the house were probably grateful for. It was very late, or very early, depending on how you looked at it. He didn't know what to say to break the silence, but it didn't seem to be one of the awkward silences he dreaded. Jane hummed from time to time. Finally, when she was mixing, she sat down in front of him, crossing her legs.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked. Tavros shook his head, and reached for the bowl. She passed it to him, and he stirred as she got up and cleaned the kitchen. He handed her the batter when he was done stirring, and she started to put it on the tray, then put it in the oven. She made cocoa as they waited, and then they curled up together on the floor, her arm around his shoulders and his head on her left boob. All the movements were well practiced. How many times had they done this, he wondered. She began to hum softly, running her hand through his hair, and stroking the bases of his horns. He nuzzled into his hands, and managed a weak purr for her, making her giggle quietly.

When the cookies dinged, Tavros squirmed away and stood up. He got the cookies out of the oven and used a spatula to set them on the rack to cool. He took a few warm ones and brought them back to Jane. He laid down this time, putting his head in her soft lap and smiling up to her.

Jane held a cookie above Tavros's mouth, and he strained up to snap at it, getting most in his mouth. She smiled and waited until he was done chewing, then pressed the next one to his mouth. She stroked his horn tip gently, and he shivered. She bent down and kissed his nose, then his forehead.

"Thanks, Jane." He said, smiling as best he could at her. She smiled and nodded. She gave him a little pet between the horns.

She started to sing one of her odd human lullabies, something about a mocking bird, and Tavros closed his eyes. It didn't take him long to drift off to sleep. When he did, Jane gently picked him up, and carried him to her room to spend the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong Jane is best Jane.


	31. Rose/Terezi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose Lalonde helps her friend catch someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to try some long distance relationship stuff, and I'm not real happy with how it turned out, but here you go. Sort of semi-based on seer powers sort of.

Rose's normal day was mostly writing, making sure Roxy wasn't getting into trouble, chatting with Dave and Jade and John, and dropping horrible critics on Eridan and Vriska's writing. It wasn't that they were bad, really they were both quite amazing, but she did enjoy the reactions she could get from both of them.

However, her favorite part was in the evening.

She settled Roxy into her bed, turned out the lights, dressed into a comfortable outfit, made herself a cup of tea, turned off her phone, and then sat at the dining room table, lap top in front of her.

This particular night, it was raining outside, and her tea was earl gray. She booted up her computer, and her video chat client. She waited for almost half an hour, spending her time writing a few comments under Eridan's latest Historical paper, accusing him of 'wanting to show Bonaparte a good time.'

Her computer dinged, and showed her a pop up window, asking if she wanted to accept a video chat. She clicked on the accept button and deadpanned at the image it showed her. There was the chair, leather, and papers, and a few coffee cups. It took nearly a minute before a red head with a freckled face dropped into the seat and grinned hugely at Rose.

"Miss Lalonde! Apologies for the late showing." Terezi said, leaning back in her seat. Her tie was stained with coffee. Rose cocked an eyebrow.

"Miss Pyrope. It's no bother at all." Rose said.

"How's Roxy?"

"She's well. She got an A in math and Science. History continues to be a difficult subject for her, however." Rose sipped her tea. "Why don't you tell me about your case?"

"I find myself frustrated at my inability to capture the perpetrator." Terezi said.

"The perpetrator? As in the perpetrator of all crimes ever? What an extraordinary feat. Although I believe we will have an issue when you do catch them and all the fake perpetrators shall come pouring out of the prisons."

"Indeed. A perpetrator then, mis lavender breath."

"Ah. I see. What do you have so far?" Rose asked, struggling not to smile too much. Terezi tapped a finger on the desk, then started to speak.

Rose sat back and listened to Terezi's dilemma. Soon, Terezi stood up, and turned the computer so Rose could see the notes on her wall, and started to explain them. Some of Terezi's points Rose had difficulty seeing, but gradually, the knots became untangled, although sometimes Terezi had to explain her thought process several times. Finally, Rose lifted an eyebrow, and set down her tea.

"Well, you know his reasons for it. But what about after his crime? Where would he have gone? There's only a couple of ways he could've gone without getting captured."

"Of course! But we need to get into his mind and shed some light on the disgusting gray matter." Terezi said, leaning against the wall.

For a while longer, they talked, swapping theories and questions. Suddenly, Terezi yelped and slammed her finger into the map so hard that Rose gave a little wince.

"The warehouse!" Terezi shouted. She grabbed her coat off the ground, and stepped out of the webcam's view. Rose blinked. She hear a door slam closed and chuckled softly, then turned off the chat client. She had apparently spurred another train of thought.

Rose turned off her computer, and had herself a shower, then climbed into her bed. Later that night, she got a simple text. It read 'GOT H1M >:]'


	32. Feferi/Cronus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She has a moirail. If you had any morals, you'd put an end to this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for Cronus being a spitwad, and cheating. (I do actually like and support this ship when it's done healthily, but I wanted to try some pale cheating, and Cronus was the obvious choice. Luneth offered up the other fish son for pain time. Hopefully, I'll do this ship actual justice next time.)

  You're sprawled out on the pile, made of cuttle fish dolls and blankets and a few horns. Whenever you shift, a horn squeaks at you and makes you jump, but it's worth it.

  It's worth it because you're head is in Feferi's lap, and she's rubbing your horns in a way that feels absolutely amazing. She's cooing down to you, complimenting you and telling you to relax, and you're spilling out all your feelings - or eelings, as she would call them. - to her. It's fun, this feelings jam. It's been a long time since you've had one of these.

  She has a moirail. If you had any morals, you'd put an end to this. But it just feels so good to be heard again, and that little twerp could never match you for, well, anything. And it was her choice, anyway. If she didn't like it, she could just tell you no.

  You're in the middle of telling her about how Mituna picks on you all the time, the little mentally impaired dimwit, when the door to her room opens.

  You both look up. It's Eridan. Of course it is. You can feel your mouth beginning to curl in a smile as he takes in the scene. Then his breath hitches and he actually takes a step back, the door almost closing. Feferi shoves you off her, and you yip in surprise.

  "Eridan!" She yells. He looks on the verge of running away, but doesn't. He's entranced by her voice. And he obeys her voice, he steps in when she says "Don't leave."

  "Tell me this isn't w-what it looks like." He demands. She's quiet for a moment, chewing on her lips, and you twist to your stomach, then pull yourself up to your knees.

  "It's exactly what it looks like." You say, grinning at him. You can't help it. "She finally got tired of your constant whining, and came to someone who could give her what she wanted."

  "An' wh-what's that, huh? Someone wh-who can wwhine _louder_?" Eridan's voice raises to a shout. "You're a piece a trash, and eweryone know-ows it!"

  "Hey, don't get angry." You say. He looks like he's about to explode in anguish and fury. "She just wanted someone better then you."

  "That's, not true!" Feferi says. She looks torn, and who wouldn't be? You, or your other universe descendent? The obvious choice, though, is you. It's not even a contest. "I. I'm _sorry_ , Eridan."

  "You're sorry? You're _sorry_?! I thought I could trust you!" He's screaming now, and the pain written on his face is almost pitiable.

  "Hey now, " You start, setting a hand on Feferi's shoulder. Eridan growls and steps closer, and Feferi just freezes up. "Don't yell at her. She doesn't deserve that. Maybe she just got tired of you, of having to listen to you, and never having you take her advice, ya'know?"

  Eridan's fist connects with your chin before you even see him moving. You see stars and just sort of tip out of the pile and land on the ground. There's a slapping sound, and when you can finally clear the fuzzies out of your eyes enough to see, you can see Eridan holding his cheek, tears in his eyes, and looking at Feferi.

  "He's, right." She says through pants. She's holding her hand, and she seems like she's forcing out every word. "I hate it when you don't listen to me, I hate it! You're so dense and you never listen to anyone! At least Cronus listens to me!"

  You pull yourself up to stand, cradling your bruised chin in one hand, and lean on her side.

  "I don't like to boast, you know, but I am a great listener." You say. Your pride is wounded, but it's worth it to see the pain and the anger in Eridan's eyes. He spins, and storms towards the door, starting to bluster about how he hopes he never sees Feferi again, and how she better be happy with her choice, and he leaves with a slammed door.

  Feferi sinks into the pile, putting her hands over her face. You drop down next to her, and hold out your arms. She leans into you, her body cooler then yours, and you hold her.

  You comfort her, telling her how he'll get over himself, and how you're here for her. You'll take care of her, keep her, that much you know. You deserve the best, after all, even though you normally don't get it. And Feferi has the best blood. You obviously deserve her.


	33. Damara/Porrim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Porrim finds Damara in the park.

The park was between Porrim's house, and the drugstore. It was a perfect half way point for her to sit down, rest her feet, and text people to make sure they were doing all right. It wasn't that she couldn't make it to her house,but rather that she was breaking in new high heels, and had learned that it didn't take much to raise a blister. She wasn't stupid. 

She was just turning into the gate to the park when she saw someone. At first, she thought she might leave, but then she recognized the particular red skirt, even if the person was wearing a blue and green flannel shirt. It was Damara, and her hair was down. She was swinging a little, her feet bare.

Porrim started to walk over to the swing set, and Damara looked up at her. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and her cheeks were tear stained. Porrim wearily moved closer and sat in the swing next to her. Damara turned to watch her. 

"Hello, dear." Porrim said. She made her voice as warm as she could. Damara's lower lip trembled, and for a moment, Porrim thought she was going to yell. Damara had done a lot of yelling the past couple of years. (Then again, who could blame her?)

But instead, she started to cry. Tears tumbled out of her eyes, and she sniffled loudly and wiped at her face. Porrim watched, and pulled a washcloth out of her bag. Next, She dug out a water bottle, and dumped some water on the cloth. She hummed a note, watching Damara for another few moments before reaching over and batting away her hands. She started to rub the cloth against Damara's cheeks, gently scrubbing away the tears. When Damara's cheeks were clean, Porrim went to her eyes, and then her lips. Before long, Damara's face was clean of both her tears and her make up. 

Damara sniffled and rubbed her face. Porrim offered her the washcloth, and Damara took it. She rubbed her hands clean, and clutched onto the cloth as if it was the last thing she owned in the world.

"What happened?" Porrim asked. She kept her tone warm, even, calm. Damara seemed like she might shatter if she was pushed too hard. 

"Nothing but Rufioh." Damara said. Her voice was thick with her accent and with spite. But not, strangely, with hate. Porrim's heart ached. She wondered how hard she could punch Rufioh without getting in trouble. She could remember when Damara had first come, full of life, cheerful, friendly, gentle. 

Porrim stood up, off the swing, and offered her hand to Damara. Damara stared at it, then up at Porrim. 

"Aren't you worried I get germs on your things, like sl-"

"Before you finish that sentence, I want you to look at who you're speaking to." Porrim said dryly. Damara looked her over, and snorted quietly. 

"You have point." Damara muttered. She stood up, and grabbed onto Porrim's hand. She held it too tightly, but Porrim didn't complain. Porrim turned and started to walk, leading Damara out of the park, and heading to her house. 

The walk back to Porrim's house was quiet, only punctuated by the sound of heels and skin on pavement. Porrim lead the way up, and let go of Damara's hand to unlock and open the door. She stepped in, and Damara followed her. 

They walked to the kitchen, and Porrim waved to a chair. She made tea for them both, but still didn't talk. There was nothing to say, and the quiet had grown to be comforting and warm, rather then awkward. 

As they sipped their tea, Damara started to talk, her tone much calmer. She talked about Rufioh, about how he'd promised to do better this time, and not to cheat. He had cheated, of course, and there had been yet another nasty break up. Damara chuckled weakly as she finished her story, spreading her arms out on the counter and resting her cheek on it. 

"When girl do that, bimbo. When boy do, desirable. No fair." She said. Porrim snorted. 

"Agreed. My advice would be to ignore Rufioh. He's not worth your time. There are other people to date." Porrim said. Damara hummed a note. "Now, how about a movie?"

"That sound good." Damara said, starting to smile. Porrim smiled back, and turned to walk out of the room. She didn't need to look over her shoulder to know Damara was following her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did these two justice. I just need them to be happy. U-U


	34. Cronus/Damara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for 'rails with pails' and/or Pale-Red Vacillation Pretty much my number one no-no thing but I figured I should do it at least once.

  You think Cronus's human term for it is 'Friends with benefits.' It's a stupid phrase. Especially because even without the 'benefits' you're more then friends. You're moirails. 'Friends with benefits' is stupid. He's stupid. You don't tell him that.

  Even when you're done, and tangled together, and you're trying to catch your breath, and he sticks in that stupid human cigarette and says some idiotic thing, you don't tell him how stupid he is. You don't flick that cigarette out of his mouth, either, even when you really want to.

  It wouldn't do to alienate yet another of your comrades, even if you did want to tell him.

  Cronus's hands tend to roam, when you're in public. It's irritating, since your little forages into the flush quadrant are supposed to be strictly confidential, so you always slap his hands away. People probably think it's more unconsented then it really is. You slap him in the face once, when he lets his hand drift too far down your back, and Porrim smirks.

  When you're alone, it's easier, and you let his hands roam as they will. You can't say you've never done that, never felt his muscles in a way that wasn't purely platonic, never ran your fingers over his lips, never touched him like that.

  You know others probably know. How could they not, with the way Cronus looks at you? Again, you are not blameless. Not by a long shot. But at least you have the decency to try not to let it get too obvious. And you two are two out of the three team bimbos. The difference is, Porrim can actually get laid. So how fitting is i that you two should end up like this.

  It would look suspicious if you never said anything to him, like how you talk to the others. So you speak to him in the same low, 'sexy,' voice you have, but instead of your normal lewd comments, declarations of your pity for him spill from your lips. You're careful never to do this in front of Rufioh.

  And then there's the time it twists black. Those are the only times you feel guilty for messing around with Cronus. He's broken your wrist before. He forgets how fragile you are, or maybe in those pitch moments, he doesn't care. He's big, and he's strong, and he can be _infuriating_.

  But most of all, you're pale. Even when you're in the throes of a flush period, even when you're making out on his couch, more then anything, you're so pale for him it makes your pusher flutter weird.

  ...And if you want to be more then pale, sometimes, what's the harm in that?


	35. Beforus Eridan/Beforus Sollux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But what if I wrote my otp...on beforus...

  "So thus you can see, that while white magic is exponentially better then black, black does have it's uses, such as making so called 'gray' magic." The Archmage was attempting to teach a class of varying bloods a course on magics. It was a short class, only one sweep, with classes twice a week, and wasn't especially taxing or time consuming.

  Sollux was sprawled in his seat, tapping on one of his hand held devices, and the Archmage had been on his feet for the entire three hour class. His feet ached. At least three students were sleeping, and he had the sudden petty thought that if he had an air horn, he would use it.

  The bell rang, and four people were out of their seats before he could open his mouth. He watched them with a black expression as they all fled the class. A couple left small packages on his desk as they left, small pieces of gold or rare things they'd come by and offered up as good will gifts. A few more left papers, and one or two left a fruit of some kind. It was all set there meekly, as if they knew he had angel powers running through his vains.

  When the hall was empty, Sollux lifted his head. His ears dripped with gold, most of them gifts from the Archmage himself.

  "Wow, no one wath paying any attention, hahaha, that'th even worthe then when I thtill tried to make anything of my life." Sollux said. "You know no one wath paying you any attention, right?"

  "Sollux, be still." The Archmage said. His tone was even, forged from years of masking his irritation. He turned to the board and started to wipe the chalk off of it. Sollux snickered and stood up. He pulled a box closer, and opened it. He pulled out a fossil, and twisted it around, then tried to throw it to the side. The Archmage yelped sharply, and Sollux caught it with his psionics, inches from the wall.

  "It'th jutht a thtupid fothil." He said. The Archmage huffed, and reached over to grab it.

  "It's from one of my students. It's not to be hurt."

  "Thentimentalitht."

  The Archmage snorted, and waved his hand, the loose sleeve of his robe making a swishing sound.

  "Better to be a sentimentalist then to be someone who would devalue the gifts of others." He said.

  "You could buy a thouthand like it."

  "But they could not. The fact that they bought it, and gave it to me makes it worth more then a thousand others like it." The Archmage grabbed the fossil from where it was dangling in the air and smiled as he stroked it with his thumb. "The labor, not the price."

  "Weirdo."

  "Age will do that to someone."

  "You're gonna be thad when I die ath you would be if that broke?" Sollux asked. He was grinning, he meant it as a joke, but the Archmage felt as if a spike of ice had been shoved down his spine.

  He stared at Sollux, and Sollux's grin faded a little.

  "Dude?"

  "No, I won't be sad at all, I'll consider myself quite blessed." The Archmage said in a rush. He dropped the fossil on the desk, and spun away, walking to the door. Sollux called after him, but the Archmage ignored his call and walked down the halls to his personal office.

  He sank down in his seat, and covered his face with a hand. He could not lose Sollux. He would not lose Sollux, he promised himself.

  His hand dropped, and he looked at a small, metal sea horse on his desk. He wondered if Zahhak was still taking soulbot commissions. Perhaps it was time to look into that.


	36. Dolorosa/Disciple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I go with Porrim and Meulin in this, but I promise it's Dolorosa and Disciple. I just like the names better then the titles.

  "Hold _still_." Porrim said, smacking the top of Meulin's head with the hair brush. Meulin yowled, and tried to squirm away, but Porrim kept a firm grip on her shoulder. "Hush."

  "I don't want my hair to be brushed!" Meulin hissed over her shoulder. Porrim smacked the top of her head again. After hissing loudly, and elbowing widely behind herself, Meulin got another smack with the hair brush. She settled down, pouting and hissing to herself.

"Your hair needs to be taken care of. You'll thank me later, dear." Porrim said. She ran the brush through the mat of hair she was face with, starting at the tips and working her way up.

  Even for Porrim, this was a daunting task. Meulin rarely brushed her hair, and it was tacky with blood in some places. There were actually sticks in the hair. Porrim wondered how she washed it. She insisted on believing that it was washed. She didn't think she could handle it emotionally if Meulin said she didn't wash her hair.

  Eventually, Meulin twisted around, and bristled up, hissing loudly at Porrim. Porrim sighed and rolled her eyes. Meulin had been remarkably well behaved for the past half an hour, giving only the occasional hiss or squirm. Perhaps she deserved a break.

  "Fine. You can go. We'll be finishing this later." Porrim said. Meulin hissed loudly again, and pounced off the seat, then started to bound away. Porrim rolled her eyes again, and started to brush her own hair. She sat on the seat and closed her eyes, then started to hum softly.

  She heard the soft, scrapping footsteps of Meulin coming closer, and forced herself to keep her eyes closed. A set of claws raked through her short hair in some awful imitation of 'brushing.' Porrim winced. She didn't say anything, however, and Meulin brushed again.   
  
  "You're quite good at that." Porrim said. Meulin didn't notice the tenseness in her voice, and purred loudly. She raked again, and then again. Porrim wondered if it looked as painful as it felt, and if her hair was being shreded.

  After a few more 'brushes,' Meulin slunk around Porrim, and pulled herself into the jade's lap. Porrim opened her eyes and smiled. She set the brush against Meulin's scalp, then began to brush her hair again. Meulin hissed, but it was much quieter this time. After a small while, her hissing stopped entirely, and she began to purr instead. By the time Porrim finished brushing, she was fast asleep, looking quite content.

  Porrim chuckled quietly, and leaned against the back of the seat, running her hands through the now smooth hair. Much better.


	37. Signless/Disciple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy update

The moon was shinning brightly on the small clearing. Two trolls were in the clearing. The first was of middling height, with a more slender body. His body was lean, and his hair was short. The other troll was a short, muscular troll, with wild, long hair.

They were the Signless, preacher and mutant, and the Disciple, his olive blooded mate and his scribe. They were close, closer then any troll they'd ever met, and their feelings covered all the quadrants and beyond. They belonged only to each other, and their pity and their hate burned as bright as the Signless's blood.

The Disciple was yelling, her voice breaking with how loud she was, and she was jamming her finger into his chest. He wore a wounded expression, and kept backing up a step, to no avail.

"You're so stupid! Why can't you just let people look out for mew?!" She yelled. The Signless lowered his ears, and reached out, cupping her cheek with a soft pap noise. She sucked in a breath, and held it, trying to still her racing heart. He had to calm her before her rage grew, he knew that.

"Shhh." He said. His thumb stroked over her lip, and he leaned forward, his other hand pushing down the finger still pressed against his chest. "Shhhh."

"D-don't, shut me down." The Disciple said, her voice scratchy and hoarse. It was quieter, though, more pain then fury now. "He was trying to protect you, you stupid, stupid troll. And all you could do was give him that look, the one that says you're so disappointed. You know how much that look hurts him, and you. He was trying to help."

"I know. I appreciate it. But my life? Not worth the death of any other troll." He murmured. "Not worth it."

"It is to me."

"I know, Meulin." He said. He paped her cheek again, and leaned forward to place a chaste kiss against her lips. She flung her arms around him, and squeezed him tightly,. She hissed through her fangs, as if trying to squeeze out her rage in that noise alone. "I know, and that's the problem."

"Please be carefurl." She whispered. "I don't want to lose you."

"You won't, my dearest." He said. "You won't."

She pressed her face into his shoulder. The Signless stroked down her back, and pressed his face into her hair. His heart ached with pity for her. His vains pulsed with it, and he thought he'd do anything to protect her happiness, but in the next, he knew that their own happiness was a small price to pay for changing the world. A small price indeed.


	38. Dualscar/Cronus

  The first thing Cronus heard when he stepped into his hive was the sound of vomiting. He groaned under his breath and threw his bag onto the couch. It landed with a thud, and he trotted towards where he heard the sound coming from.

  "Chief, are you sick again?" He called as he headed down the hall. He did not want to do this. Not in the least. Unfortunately, there wasn't really anyone else to help. He stopped in the doorway to the bathroom, and tried to keep back his sneer when he saw Dualscar hunched over it, shuddering.

  "D-don't, give me that look." Dualscar hissed under his breath. He gave a weak snarl. Cronus rolled his eyes, and walked closer. He set his hand on Dualscar's head, and pushed it down a little. There were few things he regreted more then meeting his alternant universe self.

  "Finish up. I have a date tonight." Cronus said. He tried to keep at least some of the boredom out of his voice, but he wasn't sure how good of a job he did.

  "Oh, sure." Dualscar said. Cronus lifted his hand and smacked one of Dualscar's horns. Dualscar flinched down a little, and Cronus couldn't help the small bit of triumph he felt over dominating over his ancestor for once.

  "Shut up, you old coot." Cronus huffed. Dualscar hissed again, and closed his eyes. He rested his cheek on the rim of the toilet. "And hurry up. Come on, finish."

  "Don't tell me what to do." Dualscar's voice was hoarse, and tired.

  "Maybe if you didn't drink this much, this wouldn't happen."

  Dualscar grunted noncommittally, and started to pull himself up. He wobbled, and tilted wildly to the side. Cronus stepped under him, managing to catch him in the last moment.

  "Ugh, you weigh a ton." Cronus complained, barely managing to hold Dualscar up. Dualscar sighed and shook his head. Disappointment poured off him, but Cronus couldn't find it in himself to care. He leaned heavily on Cronus, drawing a loud complaining sound from him.

  "Shut up. Take me to my room." Dualscar said. Cronus, mercifully, obeyed, starting to drag the old sailor back to one of the larger rooms.

  There was a bed that was sort of shaped like a ship, edges going up. Cronus shoved him into it, and stumbled back a few steps.

  "Go and get me some water." Dualscar said. Cronus snorted.

  "You can't tell me what to do." Cronus said, crossing his arms. He grinned, and Dualscar lifted his head, looking right at him. There was something about the cool, calculating look that Dualscar gave him that drained the fight out of Cronus. He cleared his throat and nodded a few times, then quickly stepped out of the room.

  There were water bottles in the kitchen. Dualscar liked to drink things out of a wine glass. It probably made him feel more important, Cronus thought. He opened a water bottle, and poured the wine glass full, then carried it into the room. Dualscar had squirmed under the covers, and apparently stripped, since his clothes were on the floor.

  Cronus sighed deeply, and walked over. Dualscar reached up and grabbed the water before Cronus could even get the words out to offer it. He gulped it down, and dropped the glass over the side of his ship, then pulled the covers over himself entirely.

  Cronus grumbled, walking over to the door. "You're welcome, chief." He called over his shoulder. There was a huffing sound.

  "Thanks, brat." Dualscar said. His voice was muffled by the blankets. Cronus grumbled louder, wishing he had the bulge bone to flip Dualscar off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk I like black diamonds and Ampora sue me.


	39. Psiioniic/Signless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know, I haven't done an unrequited feelings one yet.

  You're fiddling with the flowers you got him. Two pink roses. You don't think it could be more obvious what you're trying to ask him, but he's not even looking at you, he's looking through you. Talking about someone he met. It's all right, you assure yourself. He'll realize in a few moments, he's just wrapped up.

  You swallow thickly as he continues. He pauses and you start to open your mouth, but then he's talking again. His words wash over you like the air. You can't summon anything more then a weak, unhappy little noise when he turns away from you and leans towards his mate.

  The moment passes and he's gone again, flitting off to the Disciple. It aches in your chest, somewhere deep down and dark, and you want to cry.

  But you don't. You get another pair of roses, fresh, and try again. And again. And again. And again.

  It goes right over his head.

  Every damn time, he doesn't pick up on it.

  Finally, you give up on subtly. You grab his chin and pull it closer to you, so close your foreheads are touching and you can count the shades of red in his eyes. His mutant, wrong, red.

  "Kankri," You say, breathless and pained. "Be my moirail."

  His face sort of pinches up. He frowns, and looks you over, and you feel so incredibly bare before him.

  "What?" He asks.

  "Be my moiail."

  "I have a moirail." He says gently. He brushes your hand off his face. "I have my mate. I belong to her and only her. She belongs to me. You know this. Why..."

  Everything in you burns in pain and anger. It's not fair. It's not normal. You jerk away, hissing and growling and snarling in turns. He reaches after you put you don't let him touch you. You slap his hand away with your psionics, and lift yourself up. Before he can say your name, you're shooting up, up, and up, into the clouds, into the sky.

  And away from him.


	40. Cronus/Grand Highblood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, like, this is dubcon gill play, and there are parts where it sounds very sexual. Please don't be mistaken, it's all completely pale, but, just. If this sort of thing squicks or triggers you, please be careful.

  Cronus's hands were tied behind his back, bound at angles that made him whimper in pain. His legs were bound as well, his thighs and his knees and his shins and his ankles. The rope was thick, but it wasn't as rough as it looked. It was strong, however, as Cronus had learned when he'd tried to break it.

  He was also stripped naked. Under other circumstances, he might actually like this, but there was the little fact that The Grand Highblood Makara, of Alternia, was bouncing behind him, giggling and honking like a child as Cronus lay on the floor, completely incapacitated.

 "Got you, little fishy." Makara crooned. He reached out and pet Cronus between the horns, and Cronus tried to twist to see him. The moment he did, Makara grabbed his horn and dug in his claws. Pain flared up his horn and he groaned in pain. He stopped twisting, and the pain eased up at once, finger tips stroking over the curve of his horn.

  "Shhhh. Stop moving. Calm down." Makara said. He giggled when Cronus huffed, and pet the back of his neck. "Shh. There's a good boy."

  "Get off me!" Cronus snapped. Makara's giggling only got louder. His fingers stroked around, and played with the corners of Cronus's gills. Cronus couldn't help the shudder that ran through his body, or the way he melted against the flood with a needy sound. Makara knew all his sweet points. Probably because Cronus had gone into great depth in his explanations, pointing them out. He had hoped that they'd be used for something else, but beggars couldn't be choosers.

  "There you go. Such a good little boy for me. My good, sweet little sea dweller." Makara said. He rubbed the edges of Cronus's gills, then started to play with the frills of them. Cronus mewled before he could stop himself, and Makara giggled again. There was something horrifying about hearing a child's giggle out of something as big as a horror terror and two times as scary.

  Cronus felt fingers against his mouth and opened it. Two large fingers shoved there way inside, and a single command was whispered in his ear. Suck. He obeyed, closing his lips around them as much as he could and starting to suck away. He couldn't close his mouth all the way, and drool dripped down his chin. Makara pressed his fingers deeper into his mouth and began to work his other set into Cronus's gills. Cronus gagged, and Makara drew out his fingers, smearing the slightly violet fluid against Cronus's cheek.

  "A-ah, chief, gentle." Cronus whimpered. Makara continued to press into the gills, and his claw tips stroked over the filaments. He drew a strangled noise from Cronus, who started to shake. "Makara."

  "Hush, lil fishy boy. Just sit back and enjoy it." Makara said. He ran his spit covered fingers through Conus's hair, and grabbed onto his horn. He twisted Cronus onto his back, ignoring the squeak of pain when Cronus's arms were crushed into an even stranger angle.

  Makara leaned down and nuzzled Cronus's face roughly, his paint smearing onto Cronus's face. His fingers trailed down Cronus's cheek, leaving behind damp trails, and started to press into Cronus's other set of gills. He leaned up when Cronus gurgled and watched the small sea dweller's expressions as he pressed his fingers deeper. He spread them slightly, stretching out the gills.

  Cronus couldn't do much more then drool with the stimulation his gills were receiving. He twitched slightly, and gurgled again when he felt his filaments grabbed.

  Makara tugged on the frills, ever so slightly, and honked happily at the sudden flash of agony that crossed Cronus's face. How pretty, he thought, tugging again. Cronus let out a pained groan, and Makara let go of the filaments. He stroked his fingers over them, and Cronus's expression relaxed again.

  Makara began firm, rough strokes, pulling his fingers out and plunging them back in. He was somewhat careful, not wanting to harm Cronus, but not completely. He did enjoy the soft whimpers of pain that escaped Cronus's mouth when something was pricked with a claw, after all.

  Mostly, though, Cronus was blissed out as his most sensitive places were violated time and again. It wasn't even a full ten minutes of Makara's treatment before Cronus's back arched up, and he went stiff. His eyes rolled back , and then his eyelids closed. He slumphed down against the floor, going limp.

  Makara burst into a fit of laughter and honking, yanking his fingers out of Cronus's gills. He spent several minutes howling with laughter before managing to calm himself down enough to begin undoing Cronus's ropes. Cronus was limp, except for the occasional twitch.

  Makara heaved Cronus over to the pile as soon as he was untied, and curled up tightly around his fish. Perhaps they could have another game after Cronus woke. That would be fun.


	41. Eridan/Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Petstuck au.

  Eridan kicked the door shut behind him and walked in. He was singing quietly, and he dropped his bags of food on the counter. Karkat lifted his head from the pile he was laying on. He growled under his breath as he watched the human start to put away his groceries. Didn't he know not to interrupt Karkat's naps by now?

  Karkat pulled himself up and stretched out. He was much, much shorter then the human and had a tail, as well as ears that had been described as 'cat like' and 'elf like.' He began to stalk his pray, slipping around the couch and behind the counter. He peeked around and waited until Eridan opened the fridge to silently pull himself up on the counter.

  With a loud hiss, Karkat flung himself at Eridan, slamming into his back. Eridan little less then shrieked, slamming forward into the shelves and then sliding down and bringing a rain of produce and greek yogurt down on top of himself. Karkat scrabbled at his back, hissing loudly as he too fell on the human.

  "Karkat Vantas!" Eridan yelled. He twisted, grabbing at the troll, but Karkat sprang off of him. He turned and bristled up, then snarled loudly at Eridan. "What has gotten into you, you red blooded, gray skinned, abomination of the entire troll species?!"

  Karkat let out a color string of growls and curses, and jumped at Eridan. Eridan shoved out his hand and managed to keep Karkat back by bracing his forearm against the troll's small chest.

  "Karkat! Down!" Eridan commanded. Karkat snapped at him, and Eridan brought his other hand up in a quick smack-pap combo. Karkat blinked, freezing, and Eridan paped again, gentler. Three more paps later and Karkat was leaning into his hand, starting to rumble out one of his purrs.

  Eridan huffed, and started to stand up, catching Karkat in his arm and cradling the small troll against his chest. He continued to pap Karkat with his free hand as he carried him back over to the nest. He settled Karkat down in the nest, right in the middle of the crab blanket, and booped his nose.

  "Don't move, you infinitesimal, yet deafeningly loud, hooligan." Eridan said. Karkat cooed, eyes half closed, and Eridan turned to look at the damage in his kitchen. Karkat watched him, his tail flicking lazily. Eridan took his sweet time cleaning up the kitchen, but he made up for it by coming over to Karkat's nest when he was done.

  Eridan flopped down to the nest, and Karkat rolled over and nuzzled up to his side. He squirmed under Eridan's arm and nudged his horns against Eridan's chest.

  "Yeah, yeah, I know, Kar." Eridan muttered, using his thumb to stroke over one of the nubby horns. Karkat closed his eyes, and sank his teeth into Eridan's scarf. He started to gnaw on it. Eridan's whimper of protest went unheard.

  Karkat's eyes slowly closed. His breathing evened out as he resumed his nap, nestled up close to Eridan.


	42. Redglare/Condesce

The Condesce spun her trident as she stared down at the teal blood kneeling on her steps. She heaved out a sigh, and swung the trident, stopping it an inch from the teal's jugular.

"Ya know, guppy, people who try to tell me what to do, usually end up with their blood on my floor." The Condesce said, her voice cool. She tapped a toe on the floor and the sound echoed in the hall.

"My apologies! I did not mean to order you, it was a mere suggestion." Redglare said. Her voice was nasally. It might have been annoying, had it come from someone else, but the teal managed to turn it into something that was almost...pleasant. The Condesce twirled her trident away.

"You should keep your suggestions to yourself, fish bait." The Condesce snapped, feeling her composure slip. She hated this. She hated not knowing what moment Redglare would decide to act up. She hated the way it put her on edge.

"I offer my humble apologies." She said. Her tone was impudent, but not in a way that the Condesce could pinpoint exactly. A bit too loud, a bit too...brash.

"Redglare." The Condesce rolled the sound off of her tongue. It was fitting, with those bright red glasses. She stood up off her throne, and descended the steps. One, two, three clacks, and she was at the bottom. She leaned down, bending over until she was face to face with the Neophyte.

The Condesce opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, thin, gangly fingers attached to a roughly callused hand brushed over her jaw and paped her cheek. She froze, and stared at Redglare. Redglare grinned back, and her teeth were sharp. Her hand brushed over the Condesce's cheek, and paped again.

She snarled and snapped at Redglare's wrist, but Redglare jerked her hand out of the way and brought up her other to pap the empress's other cheek. She'd walked right into Redglare's trap and she cursed herself for it.

The Condesce slammed herself forward, and slammed the pole of her trident against Redglare's neck. she pushed, cutting off her air. It left her face unprotected, though, and Redglare reached up to cradle her cheeks. The moment that the empress snapped at one, Redglare removed that hand, only to place it back when the Condesce went after the other hand.

Despite herself, the Condesce could feel her movements easing, her blood cooling, her temper ebbing. Her grip on the spear faltered and Redglare heaved in a breath. Both her hands stroked the Condesce's cheek, and she cooed almost mockingly.

The Condesce slumphed forward. Redglare cackled in delight, and the sound grated against the Condesce's ears. She hissed under her breath and pulled herself up to her feet, aiming a kick at the neophyte. Redglare scrambled both up and away and turned to grin at her.

"What the glubbin'-"

"If you'll excuse me, I must be off!" Redglare said hasitily, already turning and stalking to the doors. The Condsece lifted her spear, and flung it. It flew over the Neophyte's head. Redglare cackled as she spun off, and the Condesce hissed through her teeth.

Next time she'd get the little brat. Next time, she promised herself, slinking back into her throne. She wouldn't be caught off guard another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, I like 'endlessly flirting with you' Redglare and 'Frustrated to hell and back about it' Condy.


	43. Damara/Jade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Humanstuck verse, for those wondering. People are at highscool, collage, whatever.

The first time you meet her, she grabs your hand and shakes it. She has a pair of fake dog ears on her head and a skirt that reaches the ground. You'd think it would hamper her walking, but it doesn't. She prances around and is just as agile as that Strider fellow. Her name is Jade, she likes dogs, and she is insanely smart.

"I don't speak Japanese!" She says when you tell her what she can do with her tongue. She has the cutest little frown.

The next time you see her, she has a Japanese translation book, and fumbles through it. You smirk and repeat yourself, slowly. She figures out that it's got something to do with tongues, but that's all she figures out before she has to prance off to her next class.

Every time you meet her, she picks up more and more of what you're saying, and you have to monitor yourself, use less known words, veil things heavily in innuendo. You find your conversations with her slipping less and less one sided, and more and more into an actual dialog.

It's surprisingly pleasant, if you're being honest with yourself, to be heard and understood. Sometimes she corrects your broken english, or shows you a way to pronounce something that you fumble over.

You don't even realize how much you've come out of your shell until one day she pounces up to you and starts babbling, and you laugh before she even finishes her sentence. It hits you like a ton of bricks in the chest, and your voice falters.

"Something wrong?" She asks, and your chest squeezes as she frowns. You slip an arm around her waist and squeeze onto her.

"No." You say. She bumps her head against yours, and lets go of you. Your hand finds hers and she tugs you down the hall, starting up again. Her pronunciation is clumsy, still, and she forgets words often but she's trying. Perhaps it's time that you tried as well.

A smile carves it's way into your face, and for the first time in a long time, you want to try to come out of your shell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People forget Jade is a literal rocket scientist and she's actually super smart. This was requested on Tumblr and honestly I hadn't considered it, but it's cute. Just, happy dog daughter pulling angry witch daughter back into happiness.


	44. Horuss/Meulin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for Horuss and Meulin having a dysfunctional relationship. 
> 
> I didn't write in quirks for some reason. W/e.

Horuss wasn't exactly a shinning example of someone who had good relationships. His relationship with Meulin, for instance. 

After witnessing the Egineer's, or Equius's, moirailship with the Hunteress's other universe self, Horuss and Meulin had both been both surprised and intrigued. Horuss had never considered tying himself to such a low blood. Rufioh was different, of course, that had been something to be only between him and the bronze blood. The way that had blown up had been...regrettable, to say the least. 

At first, it had seemed to be a good idea. Meulin was as bright and cheerful as he was gloomy and angry. Even standing together they were clearly opposites, Meulin with her wild hair and chubby body and Horuss with his straight hair and his slim, lean body. They had made a good contrast. 

But things had changed. It became apparent that Meulin didn't really care about anything, besides her shipping wall and friendfictions. The time she spent with Kurloz, or staring at across the lily pads with a distant look, was disproportionate to the time she spent doing other things. 

And then her 'advice 'had started.

"Mew know what mew should do!"

"Pardon?"

"Mew should smile more!!!!!"

Meulin was his moirail. He knew that she knew what was best for him. So he smiled. It was weird at first. He practiced in front of a mirror until he got it down. Rufioh had seemed disconcerted by Horuss's smile. 

"Yo, Horuss, what's up with that look?"

"Meulin has suggested that I smile more. Do you not like it?"

"Uh...no, dude, it's...it's chill." 

Others had had varying degrees of...acceptance. But Meulin had seemed thrilled. She had continued, and Horuss had obeyed. He had obeyed when he brought her feelings of pain and aching and loneliness.

"Crush your furr-ings under massive amounts of happy thoughts!" She said, and so he did. 

Meulin loved it. Rufioh didn't know what to do with it. People already avoided him, but sometimes they managed to do it without being blatantly rude. They seemed to have lost their tact. 

Perhaps the more concerning part of his moirailigience was Meulin's inability to listen to him. (Not that she could hear. More along the lines of reading his lips.) 

He tried, for sure. 

"I have a problem."

"I'm sure you can fix it by smiling and being cheerful!!!"

"I tried that." 

"MOG!"

"..."

"Let's update my shipping wall."

Horuss knew that this was not optimal. That this wasn't normal for him. But who was he to argue with the choices that his ancestor had made? Horuss was nothing if not the perfect blue blood that followed the path that society had carved out for him. And he'd follow his ancestor's choices.


	45. Eridan/Mituna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mituna meets his new owner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Petstuck.

Mituna was sure he was going to vomit for the first few moments of his car ride. It was strange to be anywhere but the cage he's spent years of his life in, and the moving was even weirder. Soon, though, the feeling of it faded, and he was able to look around his environment. It was just the back of a moving car. He could see his reflection in the metal side of the car, and he looked even more scrawny then he'd been afraid of. His collar looked too big for him, and he hated the bright red spork on it.

He'd been thrown in here with nothing more then a 'You're going to your new owner. Behave.' It was jarring, after spending literal years of his life in there.

When Mituna was sure he wasn't going to throw up, he practiced stretching out his aching, twitching limbs. It was amazing to be able to stretch out like this again. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had the room to stretch out. By the time the car came to a stop, and the door opened, Mituna was able to climb out of the car, and stand on all fours, even if he shook through it.

They grabbed his leash, and tugged him up the street. They were in a human housing place. They stopped in front of a house, and Mituna tried to catch his breath.

"This is it?" Mituna looked up. A lean man with a violet streak through his hair. He had glasses, and a scarf. He sneered a little. "It's rather small isn't it?"

Someone muttered something and handed the man the least. The man huffed, and crouched down, and Mituna took a few wobbling steps towards him. His forearm bent weird at the wrong moment and he spilled into that man's chest with a loud chirp of surprise.

"Hey!"

Mituna cringed back, expecting to be hit. However, the hand that reached towards him only thwacked him on the head once, gently.

"Be careful. My name is Eridan. And do behave yourself. I just got new carpet put in, no scratching it up." He said. He stood, and started to lead the way inside a house. Mituna was confused at the light punishment. Wasn't he going to get beat?

There was nothing to do but follow Eridan's legs, and the gentle tugs on his leash, inside the houses he was led to. Away from his previous owners. The carpet felt nice on his hands and feet, and he laid down as soon as the door was closed. Eridan snorted, and tugged on his leash.

"Up." Eridan said. Mituna whined and lifted up his head. "Yes, c'mon. Up. You can do it. You walked in all on your own."

Mituna's ears twitched. Yes, he had, hadn't he? He whined again, but slowly hefted himself up to his feet. Eridan smiled, and reached down. Mituna flinched with from the hand, but Eridan followed him and undid the leash. He started to walk off, and after a few moments, Mituna followed him.

Eridan lead him to a room. In the corner was a pile of blankets, and Eridan walked over to it. He pointed down to it and commanded, 'Here.'

Well, who was Mituna to disobey? He limped his way over and sank into the pile, one of his legs twitching as he pulled the weight off it. Eridan reached down and pet between his horns, and he nuzzled into the hand.

"There. I'll bring you some food." Eridan said. He started to draw his hand away, and Mituna leaned after it, nuzzling back into his hand. "Hmm?"

He chirped and scooted back on the pile. He grabbed Eridan's hand and tugged on it, trying to pull him onto pile. Eridan grumbled, but seemed to get that Mituna didn't want him to leave, and sat down on the pile.

Mituna squirmed closer, and rested his head on Eridan's lap. Eridan's fingers traced his horns, and made Mituna shiver a little. He lifted up his chin, and Eridan set a hand on the collar. He stroked his fingers over it, looking thoughtful, and pressed his finger against the latch. Mituna's heart lept into his throat, and for a moment, he thought that the collar might actually come off.

In the last moments, however, Eridan's hands stayed, and cupped Mituna's cheeks. He muttered something under his breath and shook his head. Mituna whined and nuzzled into his hands.

Eridan ran his hands through Mituna's hair, and started to pet his cheeks. His hands were wonderfully cool, and Mituna could feel his tense muscles uncoiling under himself. The exhaustion of the ride started to creep over him, and he could feel himself drifting off under Eridan's smooth hands.

He yawned hugely, and his eyes started to close. Eridan grumbled, and continued in his administrations until Mituna finally drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then Mituna got pampered to death and his collar was eventually taken off and he and Eridan lived happily ever after. 
> 
> Honestly, I don't like the ending, and I'd like to do more with this someday, but...I don't know that it'll ever happen, so have this half a thing.


	46. Beforus Gamzee/Beforus Fefer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE BACK BITCHES

  Gamzee's voice was a whisper as he spoke to his gods, knelt in front of their alter and held the knife to his own stomach. It wasn't serious, he would not sacrifice himself. But it was showing how far he'd go, if he needed to. If his people were in famine, if the empire fell, if his mate was dying. It was to pacify them.

  His ears twitched back to catch the sounds of soft footsteps and he sighed so quietly only himself and his gods could hear. He drew the knife away and set it on the alter.

  "Is this a bad time?" The empress asked. Her voice was light and small in the hall. Gamzee smile, slow, letting it carve it's way into his face and settle there. He stood and turned to face her, clasping his hands in front of himself.

  "Never, Fefsis." He said, the words rolling off his tongue. She smiled and walked closer. Her dress swished, and dragged on the ground as she walked. The hall was clean enough that it didn't leave even a speck of dirt on her white dress. Feferi liked clean. It wasn't good for the populace to see her as anything less then ethereal. "What's been a bother to ya?"

  "I fear the jades to not appreciate my recent tweaking of the culling laws." Feferi said. Gamzee felt brief annoyance that she had interrupted his prayers for this. He didn't stop smiling, though. "And I worry that they might protest."

  "You fear them following in the..." He was quiet for a moment, wondering if he dared to speak the title."Speaker's footsteps."

  She flinched. Gamzee might as well have said his name, Karkat's footsteps. But Gamzee was right, and he could read it in her face.

  "Aw, not to worry, lil sis." He cooed, lifting a hand. She walked forward, and pressed her cheek into his hand. He ran his thumb over her flesh, and rolled his shoulders. "They'll cool down. Lil friends just all up and worried lots a change be comin' a knockin' and claimin' up all their relax time 'fore they know it."

  "You think shore?" Feferi asked. Gamzee nodded, his smile widening.

  "Sure do. Clam on, Fef." He said, sliding his hand down to her shoulder, then wrapping it around her. She hugged him back, tightly, and he grunted. He squeezed and chuckled. She had just the right amount of squish to her, and he loved it. "Now, c'mon and let's get you back to your righteous work, yeah?"

  "All bait, Clamzee." She said, giggling quietly. She wriggled out of his grasp and turned to walk down the hall. Gamzee watched her go, and turned back to his alter. He ran his fingers over it, tracing the small sign, the Speaker's sign, engraved on the side. Then he turned and followed her.


	47. Beforus Feferi / Beforus Karkat

Your hand clutches Feferi's trident, and you hold it above your own heart. The tip digs into your skin and she glares. A look that you didn't know she had it in her to give anyone, let alone you. The more time you spend with her, though, the more you realize she has emotions that extend beyond the kind and benevolent empress.

"Let, go." She hisses at you. You shake your head, and reach up to touch your palm to her cheek. "Let go of it, now. The traitor will pay."

Equius's laughter bubbles up, too high, too frantic. It sends a shiver dancing down your spine.

"Yes, but not by your hand. I will not stand to have his blood on your hands. No one's blood on your hands." You whisper. You pap, gently, and reach up to touch the earring on her fin. It has your sign on it. In her color. She would not have them know that you should be culled. You like to think a part of her doesn't buy into all of the lies she feeds her people, but you've known her too long. She thinks of you as the exception, not the rule. The best you can do is minimize the damage she's doing to your kind.

Her grip on the spear loosens, and then the tip begins to dip. You push it down, gently, shoving the tip to the floor. A moment later, it clatters to the ground.

You reach up with your other hand and gently pull Feferi down to your level, press her face into your chest, rub her fins and pet through her hair.

"Go. Never come back. If anyone finds you, they are allowed to kill you." You say quietly. Equius laughs again, he sobs the sound out and scrambles up. He begins to walk, you can hear his foot steps, and you squeeze your eyes shut and pray he won't stab you in the back. Literally.

You focus on Feferi, on calming her, on pretending like everything's all right and she's safe. She is so far from safe. But. Despite her flaws, despite how you hate some of her choices, you are full of pity for her. You are so, so pale for her. And you will protect her.

"Shoooosh." You whisper, petting her hair. She sinks to her knees, her face sliding down to your stomach, and you follow, curling your arms around her and keeping her pressed up against you as you kneel. The doors slam shut and something clatters to the ground. He broke something. That sweaty, stupid, arroge-

"I'm, sorry." Feferi says. She sniffles quietly and you press her lips against her hair.

"It's okay, Fef." You say. You kiss her hair again, and pap her head. "Shooosh. Got you. I got you."


	48. Dolorosa/Psiioniic

  "Mituna?"

  The Psiioniic's head snapped up at the sound of his name and he glanced around with a guilty look. He shoved the bread he'd stolen back down his shirt and brushed his hands off. He used the back of his wrist to wipe his mouth as he spun and-

  Came face to face with the Dolorosa. She was frowning at him, lips drawn into a thin line and eyebrows smushed together. An awful, squished feeling began to curl in his gut.

  "Where did you get that?" She asked. Her voice was soft, gentle. That only made the Psiioniic's stomach twist harder. At least with his owners, and with anger, he knew what to expect. But this? Not a clue.

  "Get what?" He asked. The Dolorosa sighed quietly and poked his shirt, where the bread was. He looked down and back up, trying to look innocent. Eyes wide, ears tilted down, head tipped just to the right. She poked again, and he made an upside down v with his eyebrows.

  "Mituna, do not lie to me." The Dolorosa said. Her voice held iron in it now. Mituna licked his lips, slowly, and could feel himself starting to shake. "I can see where you've hidden it."

  "What?" He asked. Try to buy yourself more time, stall, someone will come to help you, push out the punishment as far as you can. His mind started to buzz, and he could feel a pressure beginning to build behind his eyes.

  "Do. Not. Lie. To. Me." She was stern, but not angry, not yet. That would change, they always changed, that much the Psiioniic knew.

  "I'm thhhhhorry, I'm thorry, thorry." He stuttered out. The Dolorosa blinked at him, and he jerked back a step. He reached for his psionics, pulling them up, sparking them around his horns. Defense, up, flight, prepping. He blinked rapidly, trying to keep his eyes under control.

  "Mituna?" She extended a hand to him, palm up. "I'm not angry. I'm just confused. Why didn't you tell us you weren't getting enough to eat?"

  "I'm thorry." The Psiioniic wheezed. He was starting to cry. Yellow tears filled his eyes as thought after thought about what she'd do to him raced through his mind. The wetness only served to panic him more, though.

  "Shhh." The Dolorosa said. She lifted her palm, and pressed it against the underside of his chin, cupping it. "Shhhhh. Don't be afraid, dear. I'm not going to hurt you. Shhh."

  "Thorry, thhhorry, thorry." He whispered. She nodded, and her other hand went to his side. He flinched, but she persisted, curling it around his waist and gently tugging him closer.

  "It's okay. Shh. I'm not mad. I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe, Mituna." She said quietly. He trembled and shook his head a few times. "Yes, yes. You are. Don't worry. Don't cry. It's okay."

  "Th-thorry." The Psiioniic said. She nodded and began to pet his hair. He leaned against her. His knees nearly turned to water as it clicked she wasn't going to punish him and he sagged against her.

  The Dolorosa held his weight easily. She scooped him up, and started to carry him in the direction of their camp. The Psiioniic smooshed his face into her right boob, feeling the pressure behind his eyes starting to die down. He let go of his psionics, and those died down too.

  He closed his eyes, and exhaled a shuddering breath. And his fingers started to slip up his shirt to grab the bread again.


	49. Eridan/Tavros

Tavros scrolled through his phone, trying to stay awake. Eridan was watching another one of his stupid documentaries. This one happened to be about Troll Bonaparte's conquests. Tavros was stretched out on the couch, his head in Eridan's lap. Not that this wasn't great moirail bonding time, but...But nothing, it wasn't great moirail bonding time, it was bad and it sucked. 

He finally sighed and reached up to poke Eridan's cheek. 

"How much longer is this boring movie going to be?" He asked. Eridan's face drew into a scowl and he looked down at Tavros. 

"Excuse me?" Eridan snapped. 

"You, heard me." Tavros said. 

"If this was about animals, you wouldn't be asking that." Eridan turned his attention back to the t.v.

"Yeah, but you see, it's not about animals, it's about boring and probably fakey fake war heroes." Tavros poked Eridan's cheek again. 

"You have no appreciation for the finer things in life."

"If this is the finer things I would really hate to see what you think is, uh, unfine." 

"Uncouth. Not that I'd expect a low blood like you to know that."

"I might be a low blood, but at least I'm not an ass." 

"Tav, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're one of the biggest and most unapologetic asses I know." Eridan retorted. He flicked one of Tavros's horns. 

"Ow, that hurt." Tavros said. He reached up to drag a nail over the base of Eridan's fin. Eridan hissed and twisted, spilling Tavros from his lap and to the ground. Tavros landed with a grunt, and considered trying to get up. On one hand being on the ground meant he was vulnerable, and on the other, he was still having trouble getting used to the new legs he'd been graced with when he'd been brought to New Earth. 

He didn't make his choice in time, and Eridan slid down next to him, and shoved him over onto his back. 

"I think you better apologize." Eridan said, in that 'high and mighty' tone. Tavros couldn't help but laugh when he heard it. Eridan made an affronted noise and shoved Tavros. It was a gentle little thing, almost playful. Tavros tried not to smile, and twisted his head as much as he could, given the state of his horns. 

"No, I don't think I will, because you don't deserve an apology." Tavros said. Eridan growled and leaned over to snap in Tavros's face. Tavros squeaked quietly and then snapped back. It was weak, compared to Eridan, but Eridan had always been much better then everyone else at fighting, with the exception of Vriska and Terezi. Maybe it was the experience and his natural attitude. 

"I'm going to kick your ass, pupa." Eridan said. He reached over and swiped at Eridan. Tavros smacked his hand away, laughing at him. 

"No you're not. You pity me to much."

"You are pretty pitiful. For an ass in green shorts."

"My ass is usually not in green shorts."

"Shut up." 

Tavros laughed, then managed to roll himself over by heaving himself up to almost sit, and twisting. He landed on his stomach, and then pulled himself up to his knees. 

"Flawless execution." Eridan commented. Tavros reached over and set his hand on Eridan's face. That should shut him up, Tavros thought. 

Eridan was indeed shut up, but mostly because Tavros dug his palm into Eridan's mouth as he stood up. 

"Thanks for the hand up." Tavros said. Eridan looked torn between yelling at him for the attempted pun or yelling at him for the manhandling. Tavros grinned and walked out before Eridan could decide on one. 

He headed to the kitchen, getting himself some popcorn and Eridan some tea. By the time he brought it back, Eridan had sprawled himself over the entire couch. Eridan ignored Tavros walking over. 

Tavros debated for a moment, then sat on Eridan. Eridan grunted and set his hand on Tavros's side. Tavros acted quick, slipping the cup of tea into his hand as an offering. Eridan took it, and left Tavros on his new throne.


	50. Damara/Kankri

Kankri's last semester had been a hard one. He'd constantly been stressed and worried, and his grades weren't as good as he'd thought they'd be. As a result, this break he was on the verge of a break down worrying about his next semester.

"Get a pet." Porrim had said. Something about them bringing down stress levels. Kankri had considered it, and he decided to go to the pet store. He didn't count on getting a pet, the chances of it were so low. But, there was no harm in looking, certainly.

No harm at all.

He strode into the store, and the door bell jingled behind him. A curt nod at one of the clerk's, and he was off, looking through the pets. Not a fish, certainly. He needed something to pet, and snuggle. A dog was too much work, and he didn't have the room for it. Perhaps a cat?   
  
Kankri made his way over, but the selection was picked clean, only older cats and one kitten with a missing eye there. He knew that older cats could be calmer, but it was hit and miss. He didn't want to risk it. Perhaps he'd come back and see if there was a friendly looking one after he'd had a look through the rest of the store.

He began heading in a new direction, to the weirder animals. As he walked, he thought about the cats. Kittens were more energetic. That was a simple fact. They would need more attention. An older one had a much better chance of it. He could pet them and see who seemed the mo-

Kankri froze.

Kankri stared.

Kankri blinked slowly.

Kankri said, 'Oh.'

In the corner of a cage that was about half the size it should be, there was a scrawny, tiny troll, with matted fur. One of it's ears was mangled, and it's horns were undersized. Kankri stepped closer, and pressed a hand to the side of the cage.

It slowly lifted it's head and stared at him. Red was beginning to tinge it's eyes. Kankri loved the color red. But the color concerned Kankri, and after a moment, it clicked. Trolls were supposed to get colored eyes around troll puberty, when they molted. This troll wasn't big enough for that, not nearly big enough.

Kankri frowned, and lifted the cage's top. The troll uncoiled, and began to crawl out of it's corner with painful slowness. There was a full water bottle and a full bowl of troll food in the corner, Kankri noted. He reached in and offered his hand, palm up, to the troll. It went closer, sniffed, and then rubbed into the hand.

He smiled and began to pet the troll. It arched, pressing into his touches, and then began to purr. After a few moments, it grabbed onto his sweater sleeve with one hand, and wrapped the other around his wrist. It clung, and looked up to him.

"Oh." Kankri said. It was rather difficult to force anything else out. He gave his hand a slight shake to get the troll to let go, then picked it up and pulled it out of the cage. He wrapped his arms around it, cradling it to his chest. It was almost too big to do that, but he managed. He didn't know how long he'd be able to hold it, though.

"Sir, you're not allowed to take the pets out of their cages..." Kankri turned and looked at the clerk. She looked at the creature in Kankri's arms, and then at Kankri, and swallowed. "She, likes you."

"Yes, I think so. How much is it?" Kankri asked. The troll began to whine, and Kankri bounced it in his arm. He'd done the same for his cousin, and the troll quieted down quickly.

"Fifty dollars." The clerk said. Kankri nodded, and started to walk up to the counter. "Oh! You'll need some troll food and blankets and a couple of toys. I'll grab them for you."

Kankri nodded continued in his way, letting her follow behind and grab the things off the shelves. The clerk dropped them on the counter as she slid behind it, and she began to ring it up. Kankri didn't mind the cost, he had money to spare. He paid and scooped up the bags in his free arm, and headed out.  
  
As he walked out of the door, the troll lifted it's head and stared up at Kankri. It chirped loudly, and Kankri smiled down to it.

"Hello, little one." He said. It chirped again, and pressed it's face into his chest. It nuzzled him and Kankri nodded. His stress levels were going right down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not as 'DamKri' as I'd hoped, but I liked it!!


	51. Terezi/Nepeta

  Terezi clutched the sword in one hand. Green encircled her wrist and fist and when she lifted her hand and pointed her palm at the guard running towards her, he froze. Turn around. Fight them. They're the enemy. Terezi directed. She pressed the thoughts into him. She wasn't used to doing this on her own, and for a moment, she was afraid that he wouldn't obey. Then he did. He turned, and lifted his sword against his fellow soldiers.

  With them occupied, Terezi was free to dart down another hall. Two more and then a doorway that she took down with a shoulder slam. Nepeta was waiting in the cell. Her hands were bound with aspect and class containment chains, and her eyes were dull. Terezi snarled as she kicked the door open. She strode forward and set her palm against Nepeta's head. Anger burned deep in her chest at seeing Nepeta reduced to this, but she set it aside.

  She pressed inward, beginning to search. It didn't take long to find that Nepeta's mind was intact and safe. When Terezi deduced that, she stepped back, lifted her sword, and brought it down on the chains that held Nepeta. The sword was drenched in Rage aspect, forged by a prince, and it took only one swing to destroy the chains.

  Nepeta slumphed down to the ground, and Terezi scrambled back. The guards had found Terezi, and didn't have the sense to stay out of Nepeta's view. Stupid normal people. Someone shouted, and Nepeta lifted her head. She stared at the guards, then reached out. Her clothing shifted, her rags twisting and jerking to become a pink outfit, tunic and mask and hood and tights and shoes.

  Terezi snickered and pressed herself against the wall. She could see people's minds, but a Seer and a Mind player could never wreck the havoc on a person that the Rouge of Heart could-at least in such a short period of time. Given enough time, perhaps. She watched as Nepeta jerked her hand, and there was a collective screech as the souls were tugged out of their bodies. Nepeta couldn't tear them out for her own use, she was more passive then a thief and she didn't have the same strong points, but she could sure as hell displace them for a bit.

  Nepeta stood slowly, coughing weakly, and Terezi stepped up to her side. Nepeta jerked and spun to face her. Terezi bowed deep. She waited until Nepeta gave a weak little giggle to lift herself up.

  "Your catship! If you will follow me!" Terezi said. She walked over to the window that had no doubt been put in to taunt whatever prisoner might be in the cage, and lifted her sword. One, two swings and the bars were tumbling and to the ground.

  Terezi bent over as if she were going to touch her toes. Nepeta lept onto her back, and then through the window. It pleased Terezi, even after all this time, that Nepeta and her hardly had to pass a word between them when they were on the battle field. They melded in a way that made time and breath players jealous.

  Terezi grabbed onto the edge of the window and pulled herself through as well. She fell the short distance into the moat and kicked out to bring herself to the surface.

  Nepeta was already climbing up out of it, and reached down to help Terezi out. They stood on the bank of it, panting. The sound of hooves on pavement proclaimed Sir Zahhak the First and Meulin's entrance on the scene. Nepeta squeaked as she saw them and darted over as fast as her weakened body would allow, swinging her arms around Meulin's neck before Meulin was even fully on the ground.

  Terezi cackled softly as she watched them meet. She stayed back, however. She'd never been one for touching family moments. She tossed her sword over to Zahhak, who inspected it with a scowl, then slid it into his sheathe. Terezi didn't think he'd be lending anything to her for some time.

  Nepeta turned away from Meulin, and walked back over to Terezi. Her step lacked the healthy bounce it normally did, and Terezi was filled with a rage that someone should steal that from her.

  "Hey!" Nepeta said, managing a weak smile.

  "Hello, Lady Pounce." Terezi said. She bent at the waist to be eyelevel with her little pale mate. "Are you ready to go wreck some shit?"

  "Maybe after a meal and a nap, the warecat thinks!" Nepeta said, reaching up to bump her forehead against Terezi's. Nepeta's smile grew, and her lip curled into an almost mischievous look. "And then I know just where to start wrecking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW that was a lot more action-y and world building then I thought it would be. I tried to make it so Nep wasn't a damsel in distress bc honestly just no. Also world building and au and stuff. might do more in this universe? Hmm.


	52. Sollux/Terezi

Terezi opens the door, walks in, slams the door shut, and drops on the couch behind you with an over dramatic groan. You pretend you're too busy listening to the retro game music Latula sent you to notice. After a few moments, she groans louder. She draws out the groan, getting louder with every second that passes, and you finally twist in your seat to stare at her.

She grins at you, shark teeth glinting menacingly. You narrow your eyes at her.

"What did you do?" You ask. Terezi gives this fake little gasp, and opens her mouth to say something when John's chumhandle pops alive and he opens a chat to start yelling at you about your 'stupid lizard obsessed girlfriend.' You sigh loudly and face plant into your keyboard, then hit the enter button to send John the line of gibberish.

"It wasn't my fault!" Terezi declares. You sigh louder and she cackles. "John was being a nerd again."

"Thtop poking fun at the local nerdth." You say. You lift up your head and read John's insults and accusations. They have such a black tone it makes you blush a little to read. "Wow, T.Z. Wow."

"What?" She asks. She's playing innocent, and you twist in your seat to give her a meaning look. She makes a perfect O with her mouth and points at herself. "Do you think I did something to rile him up?"

You open your mouth to tell her that's exactly what you think but she tips over before you can, howling with laughter. You groan and slam your head into the keyboard again, then use your psionics to tap the enter button. At least she's laughing. It's a sound you always find relieving to hear, if obnoxious.

"He'th really black for you." You say. Terezi makes a little dismissive noise, and rolls off the couch to land lightly on her feet. She trots over to you and leans on the back of your seat. You wait for her to read John's messages and your own gibberish. When she's done, she signals it by placing her chin between your horns.

"Nerd." She says, lifting her hands to stroke your cheek bones. "Humans can't even get black properly."

"You can't jutht thay 'nerd' every time thomeone hath feelingth, T.Z." She cackles again, and puts her hand over your mouth. The other one goes up and covers your eyes. You sigh, but it's muffled by her hand.

"Shhhhh. Sh." She paps your mouth. You sigh again and don't even bother trying to shake her off of you. It's not like it'll do any good. You reach out with your psionics and hook them around your drink to bring it closer. You knock the rim of it against Terezi's fingers in an attempt to get her to move them so you can drink. She doesn't move her fingers.

You try hooking your psionics around her fingers and tugging an opening, but she hooks her claws into your cheek and hisses as you try to drag her off. She's worse then Nepeta sometimes, you swear.

You lick her hand, and she gasps in mock disgust. You can't hold back a snicker at that, and your psionics let go of her hands.

Terezi runs her tongue across one of your horns and you shiver as you melt against the back of your seat. As gross as it is to think of the places her tongue has been, you can't help that horn stimulation can be one of the most relaxing things a troll can experience. It's basic troll biology. It's just your luck that you have an extra set of even more sensitive then normal horns.

"Like that, apple berry?" Terezi asks. You grumble against her hand and she finally removes them. Line after line of text from John fills your screen and you scowl at it. Terezi pokes the corner of your mouth. You nip at her finger, then shrug her off as you stand. You're taller then her, even if you're about half her weight.

She wraps her arms around your waist, and starts to haul you over to the couch. You both tip down on it, you on top of her, and you'd almost be worried about suffocating her if you didn't know that she could bench press you.

"There!" She exclaims. She squeezes onto you tight. Very tightly. She might have broken something but you really don't have the energy to tell her so you just grunt. She cackles softly, almost a normal laugh instead of whatever she thinks she's doing when she makes that sound. You've pointed out that if she didn't insist on vocal acrobatics, she probably wouldn't have such a hoarse voice, but surprise surprise, she declared that her voice was the B3ST VO1C3 3V3R.

"Thhhh." You pat her a little, and try to find a comfortable position on the troll under you. When you can't, you decide that it's your punishment for being such a worthless piece of shit and give up. You lay limply on her, your head on the rest her her teeth against your collar bone. You think she might be trying to eat you. (She'll have a fine time finding any meat on you, though.)

Terezi and you lay like that for long enough for you fall asleep slowly. Of course, when you walk up, you'll have chalk smeared over your face, but that doesn't matter at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not something I'm /thrilled/ with but what can you do.


	53. Porrim/Latula

  A Maid of Space. Porrim grimaced as she ran her fingers over the mark on the front of her neck. Every God wore them. Hers was in a dark, nearly black color, with six curves. They were set up to make a circle. Her finger tapped the inside of the mark. There was also a small mark on the back of her neck that showed her class. (Hers was two hands, held out as if offering something. Stereotypes.)

  Porrim hated it. She hated her mark, and she hated her job. To serve through creation. Gods above, the Creators had no idea what she wanted from life.

  There was a knock on her door, and Porrim grunted. Latula crashed in, little less then knocking the door open. There was a circle with three wisps trailing out on the front of her neck, in plain sight. She held up a black scarf, and tossed it over to Porrim. Porrim slipped it around her neck, and tied it. It's weight was familiar and she breathed a sigh of relief.

  "Thank you, Latula. Where did you find it?" Porrim asked as she tugged it to make sure it hid her mark. Latula swaggered over and leaned on her.

  "Some jerkz had it. I beat them up for you." Latula said. Porrim snorted and shrugged Latula off. She would've been more then capable of beating them up herself. If she'd known who'd had it. "Hey, you going out today?"

  "Yes. Why?" Porrim picked up her hoodie and slipped it over her. It was too warm for it, but she didn't want to be recognized. She looked in the mirror and nodded. Her makeup was off, and she looked rather plain without it. No one would take her for a God.

  "Want me to come?" Latula offered Porrim a bracelet, but Porrim shook her head.

  "No, thank you. You're not really capable of not calling attention to yourself. It's a classic knight trait." Porrim said. Latula stuck out her tongue and wrapped her arm around Porrim's waist.

  "Aw, come ooooon, Po-Po! It's be totez rad!" Latula said. Porrim rolled her eyes, and pulled Latula's arm off her. She walked to the door, and Latula followed behind her. "Is that a yeah, gurl?"

  "It's an, if you draw attention to me and let people know who I am, this is the last time I bring you anywhere." Porrim said. Latula grinned and trotted after Porrim.

  "Not a word to anyone! Got it! It's not like they're going to ignore me though." Latula pointed out. Porrim sighed and pulled her hood closer around her head as she descended the stairs and headed to the door. Latula trotted behind her, quiting down.

  They left the castle and headed to the market. The castle horses were all of the best breeds, and Porrim knew if she rode one she'd be marked at once for a God and her entire dress up would be pointless. Latula was fairly well behaved on the trip there, making only one comment about how long it was taking to get there on foot. They arrived in half an hour, though. Not unreasonable, Porrim thought.

  They began exploring around, passing each other quiet comments as they did. People often looked at Latula, and every time they did, Porrim looked down and pulled her hood closer. Sure, it made her look strange, but it was better then having people realize who she was. That would get even more looks and whispers.

  At one point, a girl ran up to Latula and grabbed onto her sleeve. She begged for an autograph, lifting up a broken crayon and a wrinkled piece of paper. Latula bent over to sign it, and Porrim stared at the sword and shield on the back of Latula's neck. Jealousy that Latula had had the luck to be made a Knight and not Porrim swelled up in Porrim until she thought she might burst.

  She spun and started to walk in another direction. She didn't pay attention to where she was headed, only that she was headed away from the people who saw her as a servant, as a maid, away from people who glorified Latula and saw Porrim as disposable.

  "Yo, Gamz!" Latula yelled, her voice faint in the distance. "Wait up!"

  Porrim didn't wait up, didn't stop. She didn't pay attention to the pattering of footsteps behind her. The sudden weight on her back as Latula jumped on it and pulled her to a stop nearly sent her sprawling. She stayed in upright only with the help of Latula clinging to her back and keeping her from moving.

  She opened her mouth to tell Latula to let go when she felt something on the back of her neck. Latula pressed her face into the back of Porrim's neck, where Porrim's mark was. She kissed her mark through the cloth.

  Porrim wrapped her arms around herself, and Latula's arms joined hers. Latula squeezed Porrim tight and kissed her again. It wasn't fair, Porrim knew, to be mad at Latula for her fortune. She leaned back and Latula squeezed tighter.

  Being a Maid was a sort of hell on earth for Porrim, but she couldn't blame Latula. Latula was, after all, what made this Porrim able to bare this existence. She squeezed tightly onto Latula's hands and prayed that she'd never forget that. Latula began to push her towards the castle, and Porrim went meekly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Team Still-Salty-That-Porrim-Was-Reduced-To-Her-Class-By-The-Game-And-Praised-For-Accepting-Her-Role-As-A-Mother-Figure-When-She-Wanted-To-Reject-It. Mmmm my salt shows through today. Porrim being broken down to her class by the game is very interesting and infuriating. My Porrim wish is that she would learn how to reject the game's plans for her.
> 
> Also this is set in the same universe as the TerNep. I'm really into this verse ngl.


	54. Handmaid/Nanna

  "They're just so stupid, with their petty wars because so and so died, or this person cheated." The Demoness gave her head a shake. "Like they had nothing better to do with their time then fight each other over stupid issues that wouldn't matter in a thousand years. I hate mortals."

  Jane chuckled quietly, and ran her brush the the Demoness's locks of hair. She waited a few moments after the Demoness stopped speaking, as if to make sure she wasn't going to say anything else. "I'm a mortal."

  "Don't be so modest. You are the goddess of life. You are no mortal, dear Jane." The Demoness said, lifting her hands up slightly, palms up. Doc Scratche's words flowed through the Demoness's mind. "The Maid, made of Life, to serve others and your aspect, through life and it's essence itself."

  "Hoo hoo!" Jane couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up in her throat, and she tried to clamp a hand over her mouth. The Demoness growled and crossed her arms. Jane's skepticism was something she could do without. "I'm sorry, but you're very dramatic!"

  "My point is that you are a god, a game construct, even if you refuse to believe it." The Demoness said.

  "It's not that I don't believe it. It's just hard to swallow!" Jane said. The Demoness huffed quietly. She was fairly sure that Jane finding it hard to swallow meant she didn't believe it. She tried to find more irritation in her, but it was hard when it was Jane. "Now, you were telling me about the Highbloods on Alternia."

  "They were all complete morons." The Demoness picked up a cup of tea from the ground beside her and sipped it. Jane picked up a plate and offered it to her, and the Demoness took a scone off it. She took a bit, and smiled as she chewed and swallowed it. They were still slightly warm from the oven, and crumbled perfectly. Gods, Jane was talented. "These are delicious, my dear."

  "Thank you. I spent quite some time perfecting them! It's got some secret ingredients that are quite surprising!" Jane said. She laughed, and the Demoness couldn't help the soft chuckle that wormed it's way up her throat. "I'm glad you like them."

  "Mhm." The Demoness finished the scone quickly. It was much better then most of the things Doc Scratch had made her eat.

  "Damara?" Jane asked. The Demoness's heart seemed to stop in her chest. She nodded to show she'd heard, and Jane set down the brush. She leaned her forehead between the Demoness's shoulder blades. "Do you really think I'm a goddess?"

  "Yes. You are." The Demoness replied.

  Silence began, and stretched on. Jane's ams circled the Demoness's waist and squeezed onto her. Pity swelled up in the Demoness's chest, a desire to be held and cuddled by this human. Would Jane even understand if she voiced her opinion? Humans couldn't feel pale feelings. Not really. Although the Demoness supposed it was possible...

  No, no, The Demoness wasn't going to be an idiot. She stroked Jane's knuckles, felt her wrists. Chubby, a sort of chubby The Demoness could never have been while she worked for Him. She envyed her for that. It also cried out that Jane was weak, had a lack of muscle and no way to defend herself.

  "I believe you." Jane whispered, interupting the Demoness's thoughts. The Demoness's face began to heat, flushing with her rust color. Of course Jane should believe her. She was right. But.

  But. Jane didn't believe things that were too strange. That she should believe The Demoness, that she should take her word for it, without even very much proof...

  Trust was not something the Handmaid was given often, and she soaked it up like the scones soaked up the tea when they were dipped in the cups.

  "Thank you." The Demoness said. Jane slowly unwound her arms and offered another scone. The Demoness took it, and poured Jane another cup of tea, and thanked whatever being had taken pity on her to give her this afterlife.


	55. Latula/Kurloz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested by a friend of mine.

  "Yo, Kurbroz!" You look up and Latula skids to a stop next to you. She grins and lifts her hand up for a high five. You ponder if there's a conceivable way to get out of this, decide that their isn't, and slowly lift your own hand. She, as you thought she would, proceeds to high five the shit out of it. You wince and give her a mildly scolding look.

  "Aw, don't give me that look, babe." She says. She leans on your side. "I thought you and me and Mituna could chill out in front of a square gaming device tonight and just hang. Would that be rad or what?"

  You'd go with or what, but you think Mituna will have something else to say about it. You nod, and sign that it would indeed be rad. She gives you a thumbs up and a questioning look and you sigh. Why can't people just learn sign language? You give her a thumbs up back and smile.

  "Hellz yeah!" She shouts, jumping up and landing lightly. You roll your eyes hugely. "Think he'll be feeling better tonight?"

  You nod your head. She nods as well, and an awkward silence falls between you too. You're both perfectly aware that he won't be better tonight, or any other night, ever. He's damaged, now.

  You look her over, and frown. Latula looks tired, her body sags in ways it doesn't normally sag, and when she pushes her glasses up, you can see the bags under her eyes. She needs relaxation, and spending the night tending to her matesprit again won't provide that.

  After a few more moments, Latula turns and almost prances away. How she can pretend to have that much energy is beyond you. She's impressive.

  That night, she slides into your hive with a holler. Mituna is already seated on the couch and he slurs a purr when he hears her voice. You've made sure he's all tuckered out. Latula gives him a worried look as she sits next to him, and he falls against her side with a quiet groan.

  "Heeeey." He says. Latula pats his side. "Did, did you b-bring a new game?"

  "Hell yeah, babe." Latula says. She digs around in her pocket, then brings out a case with a game grub stored safely inside. "It's totz awesome."

  Mituna tries to get something else out, but can't quite manage it before he slides down to put his head in Latula's lap and closes his eyes. He's out like a light, and Latula looks so concerned. She runs her fingers over his cheekbones, over his nose, over his neck. She avoids his scars, though, avoids those like the plague.

  You walk in front of her, and sign at her. Her smile is a little awkward. You huff a breath through your nose and make a little shooing motion, then put your hands together and next to your cheek.

  "Nah, bro, I'm chilling with Mituna." She says. You huff again, louder. She's not going to leave. All right.

  You crouch down and scoop up Mituna. He's limp in your arms, just like he was when...Well, never mind. Latula opens her mouth to say something. You shake your head before she can, and set Mituna on the chair. You go for Latula, next, picking her up and laying her down flat on the couch. She gives you strange look, but you ignore it, and instead, place Mituna next to her, between the couch and her. You don't want him rolling off the couch. Again.

  You put on a movie, the nearest thing you can find that's not clown propaganda. You turn the volume low and then flick off the lights. If that doesn't get through to her, you don't know what will.

  It does seem to get through to her, as she doesn't get up from where she's snuggled on the couch. You lower yourself into a seat, and cross your legs. And you wait for her to fall asleep. You'll watch over her, and her little bee, and ensure no one interrupts their rest. It's the least you can do for your 'moirail's' matesprit.


	56. Sollux/Aradia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post game probably. Imps roam the land as left over game constructs or smth. Tw for blood and injuries.

  This was all his fault. This was all Sollux's fault. He knew it, and it felt like bile rising in his throat. It felt like pain and hurt and bile and his pusher being ripped out and stomped on. He flicked off his psionoics and dropped down next to her. Black ink stained the legs of his pants, still hot and sticky.

  One of Aradia's horns were dangling at an odd angle. Rust blood dripped out of her nose and her mouth and a cut on her shoulder. He wanted to scream but he couldn't get enough air in his lungs. If only he'd been faster.

  Breathing, he had to make sure she was still breathing. He dropped to his knees and dragged her into his lap. Her body was warmer then his. He felt her forehead, her throat, her wrists. He didn't know how to find a pulse but he knew that her warmth must mean she was alive.

  "Wake up, wake up, pleathe, Aradia, not again. Pleathe wake up." Sollux whispered. He pressed his face into her hair, clinging to her. He didn't make it to this new universe to have Aradia ripped away from him _again_. She didn't deserve this. It wasn't fair. But it was just what he deserved. Everyone around him always got hurt. First Aradia, Tavros, Terezi. Then Feferi. Now Aradia again. Every time he made the mistake of thinking he could be happy with someone, every time he let his guard down, they got hurt.

  Sollux squeezed her as hard as he dared, and growled low in his throat. Aradia twitched slightly. He jumped and dropped her. Hope swelled up inside him, like some exotic flower, and he squashed it. She was dead, she was dead and it was _his_ fault. It was always his fault. He couldn't save the ones he loved because he was just a worthless pile of shit.

  Aradia coughed, and twitched again. Sollux's heart froze this time. He leaned over her, and down. Her eyes slowly opened and she blinked.

  "AA?" He asked. She groaned and closed her eyes again. "No, fuck, thit, wake up, don't!"

  "Sollux, shh. I'm awake." Aradia said. She groaned again and slowly lifted a blood soaked hand to rub her forehead. " _Ow_."   
  
  "AA?" Sollux repeated. It was such a stupid, useless thing, but he needed to hear her voice, needed to know that she wasn't going to die, that she was all right, that she was _alive_.

  "Yes?" She sat up, and Sollux wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her up. "I'm okay. Ow. Where did that attack even come from?"

  "I got rid of it. Oh thit." Sollux wrapped his arms around her and squeezed, forcing a squeak out of her. "I thought you were _dead_."

  "It's okay! I'm not. I told you, I don't intend to die." Aradia said. "Are you crying?"

  "No, I'm not. Thut up." He squeezed her again, then started to pick her up with his psionics. She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue, but didn't protest as he set her in his arms. "You die to much."

  "You don't die enough!"

  "Thtop doing rithky thit."

  "Make me!" Aradia's voice was too bright, and it annoyed Sollux. Didn't she have any clue how worried he'd been for her?

  "Don't think I won't." Sollux growled. Aradia pressed a kiss to his cheek. He started to walk, keeping her weight up with his psionics. Even if she'd been as thin and stick as he was, Sollux couldn't have carried her.

  Aradia giggled as he carried her back towards the compound he and her had been given. Other then that, she was quiet on the way back, using her hands and psionics to keep too much blood form flowing from herself.

  When Sollux reached the place, he set Aradia on the couch in the living room. He then rushed about, bringing her medical supplies and water and making a call to the others to send Feferi over to heal Aradia. When he was done, he dropped down next to her and watched her bandage her own knuckles. He longed to reach over and do it himself, but he couldn't trust himself not to fuck up.

  Aradia looked up at him and smiled. He scowled at her, and she stifled a giggle with her less broken hand. She held out her half bandage hand and chirped at him until he reached over and finished bandaging it. His hands were shaky and the bandaging was clumsy, but it was good enough. She didn't fiddle with it, at least.

  When the others, Feferi and John (She needed someone to carry her), came, Sollux tried to retreat into his room to escape from them. It wasn't like he could be of any help to Aradia anyway. Aradia, though, had other ideas. She grabbed his hand with her psionics and pulled him back to the couch. He grumbled under his breath, but it went ignored. Aradia held his hand as she was healed.

  Soon, they were done with Aradia. She made them some offer of food, but they politely declined and left. Sollux was left alone with Aradia. She squeezed onto his hand and looked up at him.

  "Hey!" She said. Sollux nodded to show he'd heard. "Think you can get on Troll Indiana Jones for me?"

  Sollux nodded again, and used his psionics to do it. He didn't want to leave her hand alone. He dropped the remote on her lap as the theme music began to play, and silently congratulated himself on one thing done right.

  He lifted himself over the couch with his psionics and down on Aradia's midsection. She grinned up at him and patted his leg, then turned to watch the movie. It took a while for Sollux to calm down. As he did, he laid down on her, snuggling his face into her shoulder and thanking whatever god was out there that Aradia had been spared.


	57. Dave/Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the home stretch. Disclaimer: I don't know how good or bad the rest of this fic will be. Enjoy some shitty DaveKat pale porn.

It's stupid that you trust a human to do this sort of pale debauchery with you and not a troll. But you can't stand the thought of asking any of the trolls you know. You know that they would be scandalized. Besides, Dave is your maybe quad thing. Whatever you two are. It makes sense to ask him to do it. He was confused at first, and you couldn't really blame him.

The tension, you explained, the need for relaxation and some down time was almost more then you could take. Dave made fun of your troll culture the whole time you explained it to him, but he was making at attempt, at least. at the very least. That was good enough.

Now, though, there's no confusion. There's only you laying face down on a pile, and Dave straddling your back.

Dave runs his fingernails over the back of your neck. You shiver and mewl before you can stop yourself. He sniggers, and kisses the base of a horn.

"Nice, dude. Soon I'll have you purring like Rose's weird mutated cat." Dave comments. You hiss weakly over your shoulder. It doesn't really do anything but make him laugh louder. He runs his tongue over the base of your horn to make up for it, though, and you mewl.

You're putty in his hands, his gentle jabs and stupid human references rolling over you like music. You grow progressively calmer as his hands pet over your body. They don't miss a single one of your sweet spots, the ones that make you go limp and tremble all over. He pets and prods an pushes into you, playing your body so easily it scares you.

But you're relaxed, all that anger and hate and self loathing is taking a back seat to how good you feel right now. The tension is dripping off your body and leaving behind only a trace of the mountain it once was.

You're purring, as he predicted, louder then you thought was possible, and you can hardly keep your eyes open. He makes some comment on it, but you're too far gone to really say anything in return. The most you can manage is a tired chirrup. He leans down and smooches your cheek. You twist and pres a sloppy one against his jaw.

"Ew, dude, slobber." He wipes his jaw and you smiles despite not really seeing anything funny about it. Darkness is starting to close in and drown you out.

You manage to mutter some pale affection for him under your breath before you finally dip down under the darkness. He kisses your cheek again, and blushes as he whispers back a 'diamond' at you. Even in this state, you can feel yourself flushing.

Darkness finishes you off, and you're gone.


	58. Jane/Gamzee

Jane stumbled into the kitchen. She yawned then blinked blearily. The fridge was missing. Again. They really needed to do a better job of keeping Gamzee out of the kitchen. Maybe if they brought him food more, he'd stay out more. She'd have to work on that. No one else was in the kitcehn at the moment, so she figured she might as well use this rare moment to bake.

She scratched her head as she picked up some of the plates people had left on the counter and dumped them in the sink. She started to get out some baking ingredients, and was just reaching for the vanilla when a hand settled on her waist. She squeaked and looked up. Gamzee was leaning over her and looking down at her. He was wearing a dopey smile, and his face paint stretched and enunciated the look. Jane didn't know how he'd crept up on her. He was eerily quiet sometimes.

Jane laughed quietly, shoulders shaking, and snatched the bottle off the shelf. She set it down and twisted around to face him. She had to lean back to look all the way at his face. His hair was less snarled then it usually was. Perhaps he'd been making use of the brush she'd given him.

Jane stood up on tip toes and kissed his collar bone. He honked, and kissed the top of her head in return. His hands slipped around her, curling around her waist. His fingers found her stretch marks and began to stroke them gently, lovingly. It was strange to have something Jane hated so being treated so reverently.

"Hey, sister." He whispered into her hair. Jane kissed the base of his neck. "How's a mother fucker all up and being treated this day?"

"I'm all right." She said. His fingers finished their exploration of her stretch marks and began to dance up her spine, slipping under her shirt.

"Bakin' again." He drawled. Jane nodded, and arched her back, pressing into his fingertips. He kneaded the tips of his claws into her back and then dragged down, raising little lines. "Whatcha makin'?"

"Chocolate chip cookies." She said.

"Aw, hell yeah." Gamzee said. He honked again. "Can a brother help with that righteous good miracle makin'?"

"Of course." Jane said. She wriggled free and grabbed a bowl out.

Gamzee took it, and held it still as she dumped the ingredients in. When the ingredients were all in, Jane offered Gamzee the spoon and he took it and began to stir. Jane took a small step back and watched. Some ingredients spilled out of the bowl, and Gamzee made a :o0 face at Jane. She burst into giggles and clamped a hand over her mouth. She turned and pre heated the oven while she got herself under control.

"Be careful. Don't waste them." Jane chided. It was a struggle to keep her voice firm. Gamzee honked mournfully at her. Jane managed to hold back a giggle that time. She crossed her arms as she turned to face him. "Be careful."

"Yes ma'am." Gamzee said. His tone was woeful, as if telling someone their luses had died. Jane struggled to keep her face straight. It wouldn't do to send mixed signals to him. He wasn't the brightest bulb in the box and he'd get confused at them.

"Good boy." She said. She pulled out a pan and greased it, then took the batter from Gamzee. She began to make little balls out of them and press them into the tray. He leaned over her shoulder to watch. He reached for the spoon and Jane nodded. "You can lick that."

Gamzee gasped and took it. He somehow managed to cram the whole thing into his mouth and began to suck on the spoon. Jane snorted out a laugh that time, and finished plopping the dough onto the tray as quick as her hands could manage. She then opened the oven and popped the full tray into it. Gamzee slid his arm around her waist and closed the oven with his foot. He tugged her into the dinning room and plopped onto a seat. Jane took a seat on his knee, and rested her cheek in his hair.

It was nice to snuggle like this. Jane didn't always get to snuggle with how busy she was growing plants and healing injuries.

It wasn't long before the cookies began to smell good, and Gamzee scooped up Jane. He carried her into the kitchen and set her on the counter. She giggled and watched as he pulled out the cookies and set them on the counter.

"All done, sis." He said. Jane nodded, and used a spatula to pick up a cookie. She offered it to Gamzee, and he snatched it up at once. Again, he crammed the whole thing in his mouth.

Jane took a cookie and tried it as well. It was good, unsurprisingly. Gamzee honked and reached for another and Jane smacked his hand with the spatula.

"We need to leave enough for others." Jane said. Gamzee pouted at her. She gave him a stern look and held it until he honked sadly and turned to shuffle out of the kitchen. Jane watched him leave, then slid off the counter and began to clean.


	59. Porrim/Rufioh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and not so sweet. :P

Rufioh stood in front of her, screwing with his vest. He unbuckled the fake, plastic bones, and rebuckled them. He played with the hem of it. He twisted the tassels.

Porrim raised an eyebrow, and ran her tongue over her fangs. She considered his question. Why can't I maintain a quadrant?

"The problem," She stated. "Is that you are an asshole."

"Aha, thanks doll." Rufioh muttered. Porrim smirked, and tossed her hair. "I know that, but what I don't know is what I'm supposed to do about it."  
  
"I'm not your local pale whore." Porrim said. Rufioh held up his hands and glanced around. Both of them were silent for a few moments, waiting for Kankri. When he didn't come, Rufioh nodded quickly.

"Yeah, I know that. Seriously, I'm hurt you'd think otherwise. I'm just asking for a little advice, doll. Please?" He asked. Porrim narrowed her eyes, and snorted.

"Fine." Porrim said. Rufioh grinned and Porrim stared at him. He'd been acting strange around her recently, little touches and words that didn't quite click with 'just friends.'  
  
"I asked you a question." Porrim said. She wouldn't let herself think on that at the moment. Rufioh shrugged, then nodded. He made a soft, defeated sound. "Good. The problem is you treated hate conflict and value your own comfort above your quadrant's comfort."

"That's...it?" Rufioh asked. Porrim snorted.

"'It' is treating other people as if they're less important then you. You're cowardice has hurt people. Once you get over that, I assume that with practice, you could get someone in your quads and manage not to hurt them." Porrim said. She waved her had to signal she was done with him, but Rufioh didn't move. He shuffled his feet, then cleared his throat.

"Someone like you?" He asked, his voice uncertain. Porrim cocked her eyebrow and he flushed a little. She looked him over. He certainly was a fixer upper. Just not one she was sure she wanted to take on. The corner of her mouth curled slightly.

"Perhaps." She said. Rufioh smiled almost shyly at her, and turned. He trotted off. Porrim watched, wondering if he intended her to be his next quadrant conquest. She might not be adverse to a game like him.


	60. Beforus Karkat/Beforus Gamzee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I cannot STOP myself from writing beforus ancestors and Splickidylit inspires me. '-w- And I was actually proud of this one.

Gamzee's phone started ringing, startling him out of a light doze. He picked it up and answered it with a tap of his claw. He took his pipe out of his mouth so he could talk easier.

"Hello, lil bro." He crooned. There was a quiet sputter of disbelief.

"You don't have caller I.D. you dipfuck, how the shitting hell did you-" Karkat's voice shrieked out of the phone and Gamzee wondered - not for the first time - what sort of miracles had been put in it to allow such a thing. Karkat had shown Gamzee many times that it was indeed him speaking through the weird phone device and Gamzee still found it hard to believe.. But, he chalked it up to miracles and moved on with his life.

"Aw, like I wouldn't be able to pull a tell on who was callin' me, special like when it's my bro most treasured and pink." Gamzee drawled out. There was a snort of disbelief from the phone, and Gamzee grinned. "Don't be 'ffended."

"I'm not, Gamzee." Karkat said. He huffed, and his voice calmed somewhat. "I'm not offended. You're just confusing.

"Thanks, Karbro." Gamzee inhaled some of the smoke from his pipe, slowly, and exhaled it. He half closed his eyes and leaned back on his pile.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm. Look, I'm really nervous." Karkat said. Gamzee chuckled quietly.

"'Bout your speech? Don't worry. You'll do great, I promise. Been 'round lot longer then you, seen a lot a stupid kids try to change Beforus. You ain't one of them. Not even a little. Evenif you are a mother fuckin' crumb to behold." Gamzee said. Karkat huffed again, louder. "You're the Speaker, lil dude. Gonna be mad miraculous out there."

"You don't even know what I'm doing, what I'm talking about."

"Don't need to. I know what you are, brother, even if you don't. Gonna be just fine, out there, promise." Gamzee inhaled another mouthful of smoke and held it as he listened to Karkat.

"Fine, fine, what if I do good, and everyone out there still hates me?" Karkat said. Gamzee could imagine how his hands would flail, how his face would heat up in that bright red of his, how his ears would twitch. He exhaled his smoke as he talked.

"If you do good, why would they hate you, huh?"

"Because they're all ignorant dipshits who don't know their empty skulls from their thumbs and so shove both up their assholes in their confusion!"

"Aw, bro. Don't be doing a yell at me." Gamzee whined and Karkat breathed out an apology. "'S fine. If they're that stupid, they don't deserve to be hearin' and understandin' such a lovely bein' like yourself, right?"

"...I guess."

"I know. Go on and do you're speaking. You got this, lil bro. When you come back we'll do some mad feelings jams, yo." Gamzee said. Karkat grunted. "Love you, star of mine. Good bye."

Gamzee drew the phone away and hung it. He took another breath of his smoke and closed his eyes.


	61. Ghb/Signless

Kankri scowled as he looked the Highblood up and down. Kurloz. Kankri knew the horns, the body type, the face. Even if the paint was different, he knew who this was. The Highblood crouched down in front of Kankri, grinning like a maniac. His voice boomed and that Kankri didn't not remember.

"Little SMALL to be leading a reveLUTION, ain't ya, SCRAP? Don't you get stepped on a lot?" The Highblood asked. Kankri twitched his ears.

"Little big to be leading a government, aren't you? Don't you get stuck in the doorways a lot?" Kankri retorted. There was a small gasp around them. The Highblood shrieked with laughter, however. Kankri had heard laughter was typically a good sign, but it didn't sound good. It was loud, abrasive, cruel sounding. It sounded like laughter at an execution.

"Sassy scrap." The Highblood said, his eyes rolling wildly in their sockets. Kankri shuddered.

-

The Highblood walked through the camp with a menacing grin, and Kankri watched from the sidelines. The empress must know, must know what her right hand was doing. Where the Signless and his friend were. How many they numbered. She must know everything. And yet, they weren't dead.

The Highblood made his way over to Kankri. He looked down at him and his grin stretched until it threatened to split his face in two. Kankri managed a small, timid one in return for the first time since they'd met, and by the Highblood's honk, Kankri believed he appreciated it.

-

Talking was not something the Highblood was used to. He was used to destroying and killing and destroying and taking. Still, with a cup of tea and a hand on his wrist, Kankri manged to get him to sit and talk. They talked for a long time, and Kankri learned much.

The empress did know, yes, but the Highblood wasn't going to hand over the camp at once. He was interested in the Signless, he said, and he'd reported, truthfully, that the following was small and useless against the empire, even if the ideas were dangerous.

Kankri wondered how long he would be able to hold the Highblood's interest.

-

Long enough, it turned out. Long enough for the Highblood to reveal his feelings for Kankri, and long enough for Kankri to fake it. Long enough for him to get his ideas out, to make friends, to begin to feel pale for the Highblood despite his feelings for Meulin.

Long enough, it turned out, for him to die a terribly conflicted man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw you don't expect to fall in love with someone and u do and then they kill you #justsignlessthings


	62. Aradia/Tavros

Tavros leaned out his window. His body ached from the 'training' that had gone on that day. It mainly meant him fetching things and being used as a dummy for higher ups. It sucked. He stared up at the stars, and his eyes fell on a shooting one. He snapped his eyes closed, and muttered his wish under his breath.

"Send a real fairy to be my friend." He begged whatever god was listening. He whispered it over and over, a quiet chant, as he backed up to his bed. He didn't open his eyes again that night, keeping them squeezed shut and continuing to chant until he fell asleep.

-

The next night, Tavros limped into the room and slammed the door shut behind him. He slumphed against it, closing his eyes. Life was so hard for him. Why was life always so hard, he wondered.

After he caught his breath, he lifted his head and looked at the window. He blinked. He squeezed his eyes shut, and slowly opened them again.

"Um." He said.

"Hello!" She was dressed in red, sitting in his window. Legs swinging slightly. Two wings stuck out from her back, almost filling the window. She was grinning at him.

Tavros opened his mouth, then closed it. He could think of nothing to say. Not one thing. She waved at him. He waved back, the motion weak and awkward.

"I'm Aradia." She said. "I'm a fairy. I was sent to be your friend."

"You were?" Tavros asked. There was too much hope in his voice, and he feared that Vriska was about to jump out of his closet and burst into laughter and berate him for being so stupid. He lowered his head and waited for it.

Minutes ticked by, and nothing happened. He slowly lifted his head and squinted at her. Aradia's smile grew. She waved again. Tavros risked a small smile, and then a bigger one when nothing bad happened.

He started to walk closer, and Aradia reached out a hand. He took it and she squeezed his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Tavros!" She said. "I'm sure we're going to be the best of friends."

"Thanks, um, Aradia. So am I." Tavros said. Aradia grinned, and for the first time in a long time, Tavros grinned as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> News headline: Beat Up Squire Befriends Fairy of Death


	63. Dolorosa/Dualscar

  You're not pale for him, you tell yourself as you set down the food you prepared for him on his desk. You are not pale for this empire sympathizing moron. He ordered you to make him food, and you put extra time into it because you didn't want to come up and deal with him.

  You ignore his pitched and flushed flirtations because they're annoying, not because you're interested in something else. You give him advice on Mindfang because your son told you what a viper she was, not because you care if he gets burned.

  When he gets sick and denys it, you tell the doctor because he'll keep being pissy until he's feeling better, not because you're worried. When you get sick as a result of tending to him, you let him take care of you because he's so damn tenacious about it.

  And if you wash his clothes with more care then is needed, and secretly patch a tear in his cape that he didn't notice, it's only to occupy your time and keep him from kicking up a fuss about it.

  He gives you gifts, and you accept them so he doesn't force them on you. Nevermind if you do enjoy wearing nice clothing and jewelry.

  You're certainly not pale for him, and you're not sure which of the crew started that rumor, but it's starting to really irritate you. You are not pale for the Orphaner. Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but sweet, not unlike my little sister.


	64. Alpha Rose/Alpha Dave

"It wasn't planned enough."

"No, it was too planned."

"Not the right amount of planning."

"And either way, too predictable."

"She had us pinned the moment we walked through the doors."

Dave grunted in response as he landed on the bed. He groaned softly, and reached down to press his hands against the wound in his thigh. Another scar for sure, that one.

Rose tossed him a bandage. He grabbed it and unrolled it, then pushed down his pants. Rose slipped out of her shirt and tossed it on the bed as well. She shimmied out of her skirt, leaving her in leggings and a bra, and stopped in front of the mirror. Dave thought he could see the rib that had cracked when the drone had slammed it's arm into her side poking up against her skin.

"You okay?" Dave asked, starting to bandage himself. Rose nodded and ran her fingers over the injury. He could read her thoughts, could hear them running through his own head. Jade could handle this. "She's not here."

"Who?" Rose asked. Her voice was too breezy, and Dave grimaced.

"Yeah, sure. The point is she ran off to raise her kid in peace and rebel as best she could, and we stayed behind to get shit done. She's got nothing on us." Dave snapped.

"She had her reasons. Jake needs to be raised now. Our children will come in time. Hopefully when this fish bitch is dead." Rose said. Dave patted the bandage and stood up.

"How's your rib? Want me to set it?" Dave asked. He walked over and set his hand on it, on Rose's side. She grunted and then nodded.

"Later. We'll do it later. How's your thigh?"

"I can walk on it. Ankle?"

"Sprained. Walkable. Head?"

"Still ringing. Not a concussion, though."

Rose turned and looked Dave up and down. He did the same after she was done. No more injuries that he saw. Not nicks that could warn of poison or a tracker bug.

"Clean. Family hug?" Dave asked, half lifting his arms. Rose snorted out a laugh and shoved him.

"Go to bed. I'll have first watch. We've got four hours before we move to the next location and plan our next attack. You get two hours of sleep." Rose said. She was repeating what they both knew, and Dave tried not to be too irritated. Too many plans had gone awry from not enough planning or from miscommunication.

"Got it. Night night, sis." Dave said. He walked back to the bed, and climbed under the covers. He was out the moment his head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> News headline: Brother and Sister seen paling each other up! See the Shocking Video here! *Link leads to a SB&HJ comic*


	65. Gamzee/Tavros

Gamzee had been alone for a long time. No one dared to intrude on his cave, or the lands near to it. He was a monster and everyone who lived near enough to visit knew it. Even the animals rarely came near.

Mostly Gamzee only looked frightening. He didn't typically hurt people, or try to scare them. In fact, Gamzee was rather friendly. But being cursed for thousands of years, bound to this cave, had taken it's toll on him.

So, when a lamb found it's way in, bleating pathetically, Gamzee was surprised to say the least.

His form was gone, he was shadows and smoke and a trick of the light. He moved over the lamb, spilling out over the cave walls and plunging the cave into utter black. The lamb gave it's trembling little cry again. Gamzee couldn't help it, though, he ached with loneliness and the little lamb was the first living thing he'd seen in a long time. Excitement at being visited over ran sense and ability to contain himself.

And then a voice came. It was faint at first. As it grew closer, Gamzee was able to make out what it was. A young male human, it sounded like, calling out for the lamb. It wouldn't get closer, Gamzee knew. Nothing came closer.

But it did come closer. Gamzee hovered at the edge of the cave, forcing the inky blackness to shrink back to the back of the cave.

The human climbed over a rock, and looked at the cave. He grinned when he saw the lamb in the mouth of it. His hair was sparse, only a section in the middle and trailing partway down his back. He was wielding a staff. It wouldn't do much against Gamzee, but it probably was some sort of herding device.

If Gamzee was still capable of breathing, it would've stopped. The human looked into the cave. He was hovering right on the entrance.

Then, The human looked up at the top of the cave . A hope, a seed of a hope that this human wouldn't run off, surged up in Gamzee's chest.

"Welcome," Gamzee said. The human blinked, and then gave a shy, awkward little wave.

"Hey, can I get my lamb?" The human asked. Gamzee was tempted to dwell on why the human was being so bold, and not scared, but the rest was thrilled that he hadn't run away yet.

"Yes." Gamzee said. The human smiled and trotted into the cave. He scooped up his lamb and looked up to Gamzee.

"Thanks! She's really young. I was afraid I, um, got her lost." He said. Gamzee rumbled out a growl and slinked down along the wall. "Oh, uh, you're not staying far away. Okay."

"I'm Gamzee." Gamzee blurted out. He cursed his big mouth the next moment, but the human only nodded. He looked uneasy but not so much as Gamzee expected.

"Tavros. Nice to meet you?" The human said. Gamzee grunted and slunk closer. "Hi."

"Come again." It was a demand and Gamzee felt stupidly desperate.

"Oh. Uh. Okay." Tavros said. Gamzee slunk across the floor and curled his darkness around Tavros's legs. Tavros gripped his goat closer.

"And bring me a sacrifice. Or I'll EAT YOU." Gamzee's voice rose to a hellish shriek and Tavros stumbled back a step. He looked startled, at the worse.

"How will, uh, how will you eat me if you don't have a mouth?" Tavros asked. Gamzee stared at Tavros. Had humans grown more bold in his years of hiding?

He hissed softly, and drew back. "I need it. Food will help me regain my strength."

"Oh, you're hungry!" Tavros grinned and dug around in his pocket for a moment. He drew out a sandwich, bread with meat that was cooked. But it was meat and Gamzee surged forward, swirling his black over it, breaking it down and absorbing it. Tavros yelped and scrambled back. He shook his hand and gave Gamzee a scolding look. Like one might give a disobedient puppy.

"Don't do that." Tavros said. "I'll bring you more food tomorrow, but be polite."

Gamzee growled at the human, but it was a weak imitation of his normal ferocity. Tavros laughed quietly and trotted out of the cave, lamb held closer. Gamzee watched. He could only hope that the human would return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly Shepherd Makes Friends With Demon


	66. Roxy/Sollux

Sollux eyed the drink Roxy handed him with distrust. He sniffed it, and sank back into the pile she'd made for them. Roxy didn't like the look he gave her drink, but it was better then some of the looks he'd given her food and drinks before.

"What ith it?" He asked finally. Roxy snorted and nestled up so they were back to back. "I'm theriouth, I'm a minor you know."

"It's not alcoholic. It's called a Shirley Temple. Just try it. I even added honey. Normal, not purple alien bee, honey." Roxy said. She pulled her laptop onto her lap. Sollux groaned quietly, but there was a quiet slurp a moment later.

"...Well, it could be worth. Not that it'th good. That thit Karkat's weird ecto-ancestor inthithth ith healthy tathteth better." Sollux said. Roxy snorted out a laugh, and slapped her knee.

"Suuure, grumpy bee buttocks. Ready to get started?" She asked. "I'll start the stream whenever you want."

"Hang on." Sollux grabbed his own computer, setting his drink in the crook of a knee. The soft buzz of his alien tech sounded a moment later, and Roxy started her end of the stream.

She sent him a link request, and he accepted it. As the link loaded, Roxy pulled up the coding she'd been struggling with, and by the time Sollux's computer began to show her screen, she was screwing with her coding.

"Now, see this part right here? This is the part that's supposed to allow the Gift of Gab work with the new chat client I've been setting up for the babies, so accents and language shit won't get in the way." Roxy said, using her mouse to circle the area. Sollux hummed and she could feel him moving his head in a nod.

"Yup. Looks all right. What's this part over here, next to-yeah, yeah, that. Is this necessary?" Sollux asked. Roxy hummed and circled it with her mouse a few more times.

"I guess it's not completely necessary. It just helps with some of the privacy and anti bot shiz. Should I take it out?" Sollux nodded, and sipped his drink.

"Yeah, take it out. It might be causing the glitches and no one's going to be hacking this, at least for a while." Sollux said. Roxy deleted it, and then booted up the client.

"Boot up your end and try to contact me with your Alternian language." Roxy said. Sollux obeyed, and began to type out a few messages to her.

A moment later, Roxy burst into giggles behind him and elbowed his back.

"You fuckin' meme!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Sollux said. He grinned and used his psionics to lift the drink up to his lips.

They went back and forth for some time, finding bugs and cleaning them out, trading codes for things and sharing jokes. It was a language Roxy had grown fluent in. Like her language with Dirk, but faster, better, without any of the longing that had coated Dirk's. It was lovely.

She loved Sollux more then she'd loved Dirk, but she didn't love Sollux like she had loved Dirk. It was strange, this moirailship. But Roxy no longer questioned why it was called a romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'I was proud of this when I wrote it and now I'm 98% sure it's shit' the series


	67. Eridan/Kanaya

Kanaya had not been at her palemate's for long. In fact, she'd only met him a few perigees ago, offline. Before that, she'd been good friends with him over the internet for sweeps. She'd been in his home three nights.

Now, as she wandered around what was little less then a castle, she had to wonder what had possessed her to wait so long to take him up on his offer of hiding her and Karkat. (It was the fear that he'd cull Karkat for his mutations and Kanaya for not going to the caverns had been the reason, actually, but circumstances had forced her hand. Besides, Kanaya had little doubt she could kill Eridan if it came down to it. Even if he was a violet blood. Whether or not she'd come out of it alive was debatable.)

Kanaya stopped in front of a large portrait of a military commander who's name escaped Kanaya. The frame alone would have cost more then her entire wardrobe. She couldn't keep down the pang of jealousy that she felt when she thought about how many perigees she'd been scrimping and saving and working to buy even the smallest bit of fabric for her and Karkat. And Eridan had only to snap his fingers and he'd have a feast. But it was her own fault for not taking him up on his offer sooner, and so she bit his lip and moved on.

Eridan looked up from his papers when she stopped into his study, and he smiled. It was a thin, watery smile, but it was the best Kanaya had seen. Eridan was not a man to smile easily.

"Hello, Kan." He said. He gestured to a chair on the other side o his desk. "Please, sit."

"Thank you." Kanaya sank into the chair. Eridan shoved away his papers and put his pen back into it's cup. He was an organized man, if his organization meant nothing to anyone but him.

"How may I help you?" Eridan asked. Kanaya gnawed on her lip. As much as she told herself that Eridan wouldn't hurt her, she couldn't deny what he was.

"Well, I would request that Karkat receive a proper education if that should not be too much to ask. Also, it seems prudent to ask when you will stop shoving yourself in this dusty labor box and come spend some time with us." Kanaya said. Nervousness welled up in her. It was a sea dweller she was requesting things of, even if it was Eridan. She was still sure she could defeat him in a fight, but could she and Karkat survive if people heard that she'd killed a high ranking sea dweller? Would she survive to tell the tale? And if she failed, he'd kill Karkat, wouldn't he?

"Oh, of course he will, Kan, I'm not an asshat. I've already arranged for some thin's to be delivered that should help ya with teachin' him a bit about the more cultured side a thin's." Eridan said. His speech impediment showed more when he was more at ease, or more upset, Kanaya had found. "It's a study. And I'll be done when I'm done. Ya don't get to mah position by slackin' off'on ya work. If it's in time for dinner, ah'll join ya."

"I see. That should be suitable, thank you, although I wouldn't think that he need be invested in your culture. As your moirail, I respectfully request that you join us for sunmeal." Kanaya responded. Eridan huffed.

"What the 'ell's wrong with my culture? An', I'll try."

"It's full of asshats." Kanaya couldn't help but smirk at Eridan's pout, but she smoothed it out quickly. "Apologies."

"It's fine. You're not required to uphold ya social standards when you're with ya fuckin' moirail." Eridan said, waving a hand. His face relaxed again, and Kanaya could feel the tension dripping out of her body. She nodded, and he glanced at his papers. "I need to finish up here if I'm to join ya for sunmeal."

"All right. I will see you at sunmeal." Kanaya said, standing up and turning to go. Eridan cleared his throat. Here it comes, Kanaya thought. Although what 'it' was, she knew not. She turned back and he held his hand out.

"Here, ah, uh, I, got this for ya." He said. Kanaya reached over and he dropped a gold ring into her hand. It was set with a pink stone in the middle, and a jade stone on one side with a violet on the other.

Kanaya slipped it onto her thumb. It was a perfect fit. She swallowed and looked back up at Eridan. It was the single most expensive thing she'd worn since going on the run. By far the fanciest. Guilt poured into her chest and it tightened like a vice.

"I love it." She whispered. Eridan grumbled a little and waved a hand to signal that she could leave. Kanaya turned and left quickly, heart aching in pity and wondering what the hell was wrong with her for being so distrustful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw ur internet moirail is telling the truth about being rich as shit and willing to lavish it on u and u feel Guilt(tm) for not believing him (he's sorta a dick tho so dont worry about it)


	68. Sollux/Feferi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this is a breakup fic u-u

"You're not lithening to me!" You shout at her. Feferi huffs and crosses her arms. She pouts at you, pinchs up her lips in a way you cannot believe you actually thought was cute. "I don't want you smearing my feelings in front of the entire fucking group!"

"I was just telling them that you're going to be a little grumpy because-" You interrupt her before she can finish that sentence.

"No! You don't get to tell them my feelingth! You're thhhhuppothhhed to be a thafe thpot for me to talk about my methed up feelingth without being afraid of ridicule and having everyone in the empire know. You think when you grow up, people are going to trutht you if you can't keep a thecret?" You say, and she scowls now.

"You're not being fair. I was trying to help." Her tone is too calm. "You don't understand, Sollux." Yes you do. "I know what I'm doing." No-

"You don't! You don't know anything, and if you think you know what'th betht for me, and you think that ith'th telling fucking Eridan about my every emotional break down, you know leth then nothing! You know negative thingth. Which, ha, I thought was impothible, but it lookth like I'm wrong again, doesn't it?" You say. You burst into bitter laughter. Feferi huffs.

"You're so ungrateful!"

"Oh, me? I am? Why, becauthe I'm a poor, helpleth low blood, and you've deigned to help me of all people?" You ask. Feferi's expression was all that you need to confirm it. You point at the door. "Get out."

"Sollux, you're being irrational."

"Get the fuck out of my hive!" Your tone was too full of emotion, of hate, of bitterness. Was this you flipping pitched for her? Maybe it was. You're just the sort of self loathing, masochistic piece of shit to do something like that.

She wrinkled her nose and was gone in a flurry of bright colors and a hiss over her shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Empresses are Not Nice: The Saga


	69. Porrim/Meenah

"Uuuuugh." Meenah slumped backwards, hitting Porrim's chest. Porrim rolled her eyes. Meenah was lanky as hell, but Porrim was taller and broader and had no trouble holding her pink blooded moirail up. 

"What's the matter?" Porrim asked. Meenah groaned louder. "Meenah Peixes, use your words."

"Oi, don't use your luses tone with your poor innocent moir-eel." Meenah said. Porrim snorted out a laugh and let go of Meenah. Meenah yelped and almost fell to the side but regained her balance and stood up straight. 

"I do not have a luses tone." Porrim said. She walked over to the bathtub and turned it on to warm. She felt the water and adjusted it until it was at what she believed would be a good temperature for a pink blood.

"You're usin' it right now, gilly." Meenah walked over and leaned on Porrim's back. Porrim slipped her dress straps over her shoulders, and let her dress slid to the ground. Meenah shifted so she wasn't pinning the dress up. Once it was gone, she curled her arms around Porrim's waist. "Giiiiill froooooond."

"You're puns are really something." Porrim said. She waited a beat, and then breathed out a soft "reely."

Meenah burst into snorts of laughter. Porrim gently pried Meenah's hands off and stepped into the bath. She sunk into it, and looked up at Meenah. Meenah stared down at her and held her gaze for perhaps four seconds, then groaned loudly and started to strip as well. 

"I don't sea why I need ta fancy myself up pike a mother fucker all the time." She said. 

"Self care is very important." Porrim responded. Meenah rolled her eyes and blew a raspberry back at Porrim. 

Porrim picked a bath bomb off the side of the tub, unwrapped it, and tossed it into the bath. She watched as it fizzled, spreading out the scent of mint and lavender with purple and jade colors. She leaned back and stretched out her legs. The bath was the biggest she could find in the dream bubbles, almost a pool. 

Meenah climbed into the bath and sunk down into it. She hissed softly and Porrim guessed she might have made it a tad bit too hot. She came up nearly to her chin, and Porrim used her foot to turn off the water.

"Now, isn't this nice?" Porrim asked. Meenah rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. 

"Sure, I guess." Meenah said. Porrim chuckled and closed her eyes. "All ya need is some cucumbers, gill."

"You should be a dear and go fetch me some." 

"Oh, shut up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shocking news: 'Dancestor f/f ships are extremely underrated', says writer while guzzling coffee and kicking fanfictions under her bed.


	70. Jade/Karkat

Jade pulled some of the weeds out of the pots. She offered them to Karkat and he took them. He glowered at them, holding them out like some poisonous thing.

"There, see? Those are the ones you ant to get out of the pots. It's really important that you get them out because if you don't, they'll grow and get tangled with the ones we do want, okay?" Jade asked.

"Why can't you just use your spacey powers or something?" Karkat asked. Jade huffed at him and blew a raspberry.

"That's not the point!" She said. She reached down and plucked out a couple more weeds. "The point is to grow the plants. You're not always going to have me to do my spacey things. And I can't do it for whole farms! It's not practical."  
  
Karkat muttered under his breath and he knelt next to Jade and pulled a pot closer to himself. He pinched his fingers around a thin, dark green weed, and pulled until it came loose. He tried again, with another weed, and it came up just as easily.   
  
"Hey, Harely, look!" Karkat demanded. He yanked out another one. "See, look, I'm the fucking emperor of pulling out unwanted plants. The one god damned thing Karkat fucking Vantas can do to help the procreation of and taking care of the squealing little maggots called children and wrigglers. What a joy this day is."

Jade rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue at him. "I don't think you're taking this seriously! This is going to be a great place for you to go and work out some of your anger when I'm busy. You'll be able to get away from everyone else and do something useful."

Karkat glowered down at the plants. "Hear that, you little shits?"

"Don't call names! Use a calming voice and calming words. It's scientifically proven that they grow better when you treat them nice." Jade said.

"Plants have feelings. Great. Like we need one other thing with emotions around here." Karkat grumbled. Jade giggled and tossed the weeds in a nearby compost bin.

"Just try it for a bit, all right?" She asked. Karkat rolled his eyes but nodded.

-

Karkat stormed into the green room, and kicked a bucket across the room. If he had to deal with one more incompetent asshole refusing to let him go an adventures because he was 'small' or 'weak', he was going to punch someone in the jugular.

He crouched next to a pot, and yanked some weeds out of the pot. He began to let out a steam of low curses, damning all his team mates and friends to hell ten times over. Slowly, though, he begin to find himself getting more and more into the task at hand, and paying less and less attention to the words passed between him and Vriska when she'd refused to let him join her and Terezi on a treasure hunt.

The weeds were easy. They were something he could do, and no one could claim he couldn't. So take that, team assholes. Within half an hour, Karkat was silent, smiling slightly as he filled the compost bin with dead weeds.

-

Jade grinned as she leaned on the doorframe. Karkat was sitting next to a large pot with a sapling in it, dripping water into from a nearby watering can. She wasn't an expert on moirails but she was willing to bet she was doing pretty good so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gardening Tames Mutant Bloods, new study finds.


	71. Dualscar/Rose's Mom

Dualscar is a funny guy, you think to yourself. You sip some of the wine out of the cup he passed you. His cabin is bigger then you'd thought it would be, and it's so lavish it puts your home to shame. You could get used to living with him.

You sip the wine slowly. It tastes good for being alien booze. He regards you with an interested expression, fins perked up as he stares at you.

"Do you...like it here?" He asks. He's not always the most direct fellow, like your dear Rosey. Sometimes it takes a few minutes to pick up on what he's getting to, but not this time. Maybe you're getting better at communicating with him.

"Duals, your cabin is fiiiine." You say, waving a hand. "It'll be a great place to pale you. Promise. Kay?"

He nods, and clears his throat. "Right, yes, I. Yes. I apologize. I'm not, used to doing these things."

"Damn, you are inexperienced with pale romance. You weren't joking." You say, a smile pulling at your lips. Dualscar huffs at you and shakes his head.

"Hush." He chides you. He's blushing faintly, but smiling.

"I'm more experienced and I'm a human." You continue, and he chuckles. "Come on, Duals, you gotta teach me how to relax you."

"I will, I will. See that pile of guns and capes?" He points to a pile nestled against the corner and you nod. "We'll sit there. My horns and fins are the most sensitive. Don't touch my gills. Be gentle."

"I know, babyyy." You groan. He smiles and rolls his eyes. "Come on, let's do it."

He stands up and moves as he speaks. You wait until he's settled on the pile, then you get up and go over to join him. You're still adjusting yourself on the pile when he sets his head in your lap. You chuckle and pet through his hair. He chirrs softly. It warms you to your core to hear those sounds.

You start with his horns, small rubs and pets on the tips. You move downwards towards the bases of his horns. He shivers and croons loudly when you get lower, and damn if that isn't the cutest thing you've heard since Rosey's laughter as a wee thing.

You move down and rub the bases of his horns. It doesn't take long for him to be purring, face pressed into your stomach and fins twitching. Speaking of fins.

You let go of his horns. He whines, but you ignore it and slid your fingers down to his fins. You touch one of the tines, and the fin twitches. You stroke the thin skin of his fin and it relaxed under your hands. It's fanscinating, and you'd love to examine it in closer detail some time. You rub the fin between two fingers and his purring increases in volume.

You set one hand on Dualscar's horn, and rub it while you continue to stroke his fin. It's not long before he starts to melt. He croons on occasion, when you move your fingers just right and hit a sweet spot.   
  
Eventually, you take your fingers off him and crack them. His fin twitches, but other then that, he doesn't move. He's completely limp, his purring louder then any cat you've ever heard. You chuckle and lean back on the pile. You lead his head to rest on your stomach and continue to pet his hair as he purrs himself to sleep.

Dualscar's even more adorable then he is funny. Not that you'll be telling him that. No need to embarrass him just as he's getting comfortable with you. Instead, you pet him and stay awake while he rests and think about how nice it is to have something to care for again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How to Seduce a Drunk Fish, by Roxy Lalonde. Pictures included.


	72. Damara/Meulin

"Oh my GOD, DaMARA."

Damara winced and turned to look at the short, chubby olive blood who'd assaulted her with her voice. She rolled her eyes, but smiled as she turned to face her. Meulin was one of her more tolerable companions. She was dense and removed from reality, but her removal from reality seemed to be one of the reasons she wasn't like Meenah or Rufioh. Damara didn't know if she'd always been this...weird, but she didn't care, either. She enjoyed her company just fine now. In fact, the two were beginning to edge on a nearly pale relationship. 

"Hello." She said. Meulin squinted a little, reading Damara's lips, then grinned. 

"HELLO." She said. 

"How do? Good?" 

"YES!! SO MOGGING GOOD." 

"Stop yell. Too loud."

"SORRY!"

Damara rolled her eyes harder and Meulin huffed. She signed rapidly for a few moments, and Damara watched her hands. She wasn't very skilled in sign language, but she'd been able to pick up a few things here and there. From what she could tell, Meulin was offering to share some of her fanfiction. 

Well. It would be a fun, at least for a little while, as long as it wasn't as offensive as some of her things had been. She nodded, and looked around as if searching for something. Meulin perked up and grabbed her hand. She started dragged Damara over to a pile of notebooks. 

Meulin dropped to her knees by it, and Damara joined her, crouching. She watched as Meu picked a notebook up and began to flip through it. She soon stopped and tapped at a page with a purple fingernail. 

"HERE. I think mew will find this one to be GREAT." Meulin said. 

Damara hefted the book up and set it on her knees. She started to read and barely made it five sentences in before she burst into giggles. Meulin seemed to approve of that, nodding rapidly. 

"ITS GOOD, RIGHT?" Meulin asked. Damara stuck out her tongue. 

"Let read. Calm." She instructed. Meulin giggled shrilly but quieted after. Damara read the notebook, unable to keep her face straight. It was a riveting tale of Kankri's exploration of Latula and Mituna and Porrim, and it was hysterical. It took half an hour for Damara to read. 

"Very good. Like much. More?" Damara said, setting down the notebook. Meulin grinned and signed rapidly for a moment as she shook her head. No, maybe later. "Tell when. I read. Yes?"

"YES!" Meulin shouted. She flopped back on the pile, and Damara laid next to her, giggling quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tfw u have gf


	73. Vriska/Aradia

Vriska swung her legs back and forth as she sat on the edge of the shattered bubble. Aradia sat next to her, red god tier sparkling in the strange, sourceless light of the bubbles. The bubbles had all been shattered, destroying all the ghosts. The sole exceptions had been those in the main timeline. They were stuck in between the bubbles, and trying to figure out how to get to the new world. Feferi, Eridan, Equius, Nepeta, Sollux, Tavros, and Aradia. 

Vriska twisted to look Aradia up and down for the hundreth time. She looked so alive for someone Vriska had killed. Vriska huffed and narrowed her eyes. Why she'd chosen to come sit next to her was beyond Vriska, considering their past history. Maybe she was starting to come around and realize what an awesome friend Vriska would make. Not to mention how great a team they could be if Aradia stopped pouting. 

"Soooooooo. Did you make a plan for getting out of here, yet?" Vriska asked after a bit. 

"Are you trying to be in cahoots with me?" Aradia turned to look at Vriska. Vriska looked back at her, and then tossed her hair and shrugged. 

"Hey, I'm just trying to make sure everyone gets out of here alive. Or as alive as a bunch of ghosts can be." Vriska said. "No one else is doing it."

"You want to be the leader?" Aradia asked. Her words prickled under Vriska's skin, albeit less then they normally would. 

"Do you see anyone else standing up to take the reigns?" Vriska snapped. "Look, it's you and me, right here, right now. So let's do this shit. We're getting everyone out and back home."

"You see, Vriska, that's your problem. You keep trying to take the spot light. It's got you screwed over this much already, and you're what, seven and a half?" Aradia said. Vriska's nose wrinkled and she glowered at Aradia. Aradia wasn't daunted, however. "You should work on co-operation."

"What would you know about co-operation?" Snapped Vriska. 

"Actually, a lot! I'm really good at it."

"You stabbed me in the back and kicked me off your fucking team!" 

"You killed me."

"And gave you a robot body to make up for it."

"Technically, Equius gave it to me. And made it."

"He programmed your heart to love him. And anyway, you got me back by killing me." Vriska said, crossing her arms. 

"We can debate who's more at fault for the rest of eternity, or we can do something useful." Aradia said. "Like talk about your overwhelming need to be in the spot light. It's going to get us all killed."

"You're sounding almost pale, Megido." Vriska said sourly. Aradia didn't respond, and Vriska turned to give her an affronted look. "I have a moirail!"

"Where is she?" Aradia asked. When Vriska didn't respond, she continued. "I'm not suggesting a moirailship. I'm suggesting we work through your issues and when I think you're willing to work with me without screwing everyone over, then we'll look for a way out of here."

Vriska growled softly. Aradia did have a point. Every time she'd tried to take the lead, she'd screwed someone over in some way. Usually herself. And as of the moment, working with Aradia was the best offer she had. The practical goddess of death and someone who was technically alive. Well, she could just agree to it and not follow through later.

Vriska huffed and stuck out her hand. "Fine."

"Great!" Aradia took it and shook it firmly. "If you screw me over, I'm going to gut you."

"Noted. Now, let's get talking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The business end of moirailship is /fascinating./


	74. Jake/Erisolsprite

"Hello, old chap!" Jake calls. You groan loudly. That human idiot is back. Can't he take a hint? You keep your back to him, and when he tries to walk around to your front, float around so you keep your back to him. "Aw, come on. Go ahead and lemme lookit you! I'm sure you look great in this new form."

Yes, great, because two teenagers crammed into a sprite, then transformed into human form looks fan fucking tastic. You turn and glower at him, eyes and skin both glowing with an unalternianly light. If Jake minds, it certainly doesn't show on his face. He grins at you, hands on his hips and chin up. Fucking Jake English for you.

"You look resplendent! You've got legs and a waist and-"

"I look fuckin' thtupid, you moronic dipthit." You snap. Jake laughs, covering his mouth with a hand.

"Well, that's a bit harsh on yourself and on I, don't you think?" Jake asked, tipping his head to the side. "No matter, I've been looking all over for you."

"I'm thure you hawe." You say. He starts to babble about new earth, laws, the new creatures that have popped up for them to rule over. You tune him out soon. He's impossible to shut up when he gets excited, and his people skills aren't the best. He tries, bless his fucking human heart, but he's a moron.

"But anyway, Dirk and me made up." He says, and that gets your attention. You weren't even aware he and Jake were talking. Maybe it's time to pull your de-sprited head out of your brand new ass.

"Wow, yeah, that thoundth like the betht idea, conthidering what happened to the team latht time you two where dicking around pretending to be any thembalence of good for each other." You snap. Jake gives you a surprised look. He frowns and something in your insides seems to wilt and pinch up.

"Now, that was uncalled for!" Jake says, crossing his arms. You glower at him for a few moments before looking away.

"Whatever. Thorry." You mutter. Jake sighs at you. You curl your arms around yourself, wondering how it's possible to fuck up so often as you do. God, you're such a piece of fucking shit.

"What are we going to do with you?" He asks. You don't respond, so he sighs again, louder. He turns to leave. You look back over to watch him, and catch his beckoning just in time. "Come on, let's go see some of your friends. Maybe Fefeta or Tavris will be willing to have a go at helping with that attitude of yours."

You slouch behind him, head down and glaring hard at the ground. Stupid fucking human. Can't take a hint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just in: Humans don't understand Troll Pale Crushes.


	75. Mindfang/Grand Highblood

  It wasn't fair, Makara thought, that he was one of the more hated of the trolls. He gnawed on one of his bones as he contemplated it. Dualscar was let more or less off the hook, since he hadn't been horrible to the Dolorosa, had put her out of her misery, and hadn't actually been in on the scheme to capture and execute the Signless. Even that fly, the annoying little bastard, was more liked then him. Nevermind that he'd tried violence and the Signless was dead set against that tactic. It was so unfair. He sighed loudly, and pressed his face into the ground.

  "What are you sighing for, highblood?" A light, teasing voice. Of course that bitch would visit now. He groaned loudly, and she laughed. "Bemoaning your predicament again?"

  "'S not mother fuckin' funny." He grumbled mournfully. "Not a bro or sis talks at me any more."

  "Surely you don't blame them for that?" Footsteps came nearer, and then a weight settled onto his back. "After all, you did some pretty horrendous things."

  "So did you. And Dualscar. And everyone else." The Highblood said, twisting his head to look at her. Mindfang grinned back, fang glinting in the dim light, eyes bright and hair frizzy.

  "Difference is, me and Dualscar repented. Turned over a new leaf. You still think your actions were justified." She cooed.

  "It's not faaaaiiir." Makara whined louder. He kicked one of his legs.

  Mindfang laughed again, and ruffled his hair.

  "Hush. You're fine. I brought you something I think you'll like." She said. Makara rested his cheek on the ground and heaved another sigh. "Do you want it?"

  "...Yes." He muttered. May as well take what few things he could get his hands on to cheer himself up.

  A moment later, a bottle was set in front of him. A label he knew well, with red liquid inside. He gasped and scrambled up to his knees. There was a yelp as he spilled Mindfang off his back, but he ignored it and opened his bottle instead. There was a hissing sound and he lifted it to his lips.

  Fizzling soda flowed into his mouth and down his throat and he groaned softly in appreciation. It had been too long since he'd had his favorite drink. He drank near half of it before drawing it away and licking his lips. He grinned down to the spider who was still laying in a heap next to him and she glowered at him.

  "Thanks, Fang." He said. He sat down and pulled her into his lap. She rested her cheek against his chest. "Means a lot to have this."

  "I know. You owe me, clown." She said. He purred softly, and drank again.


	76. Beforus Equius/Beforus Nepeta

Clanking and clattering. Tinking and shattering. Banging and Ringing. The noises of the Engineer's workshop rang in his ears. Eridan leaned on the doorframe as he watched. Equius was bent over a new design, a little metal cat. His hands moved quickly and surely. He handled the delicate gears and cogs with all the precision of someone who'd been at this for centuries. No one would guess he was barely starting his two hundredth year.

Eridan cleared his throat and one of Equius's ears twitched towards him. He heaved a sigh.

"Mr. Ampora. Is there something I can help you with?" Equius asked. He lifted his head and his hands and spun in his seat to look at Eridan.

"You're hiding in your work again, Zahhak." Eridan said. Equius snorted.

"Archmage, I have always been in my work, and if-"

"You weren't the only one to love her, you know." Eridan interupted. Equius blinked. "Nepeta Leijon was a Beforuan that was loved by many and hated by few. She was a record keeper and a truth teller and a helper of the people. She died beloved by many, and no one loved her more then I. To pretend that you alone are hurt by this is separating us in a time that we should be pulled together. We-"

Eridan barely had time to register the movement of Equius flinging the wrench before it slammed into the his shoulder. There was a sickening crack and Eridan little less then shrieked in pain.

"None loved her more then you?" Equius snarled, standing up. Eridan stumbled back, mind fuzzy with pain. He stared in shock as Equius started to make his way over. "Not her moirail? Her childhood friend? Not me?!"

"D-don't, what do you think you're-stop it!" Eridan scrambled back, grabbing the door behind himself. He stumbled into the hall.

Equius's lips curled into a sneer as he stared Eridan down. Eridan held his gaze for a few moments, then looked away.

"I loved her more then anyone. Even you. Do not dare to pretend any different. Get out of my sight, wader." Equius hissed. Eridan turned on his heel and quickly began to make his way again.

Equius retreated into his work shop, slamming the door so hard dust fell around it. He trudged back over to his table and sat back down in front of his project. He picked back up his tools and got to work again. He'd promised Nepeta he'd make this. Even if she wasn't around to appreciate it any longer, he would. He would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliched Meowrails are Great Fun, as is Pain.


	77. Beforus Aradia/Beforus Sollux

Drool drips from his mouth and splatters to the ground. You're having difficulty holding him up with just your arms so you wrap your psinoics around his body and keep him up that way instead. He coughs and spits up more drool. Well, it's not drool but you're going to keep pretending it is.

He choked on it, and you make a panicked noise as you force him into a more sitting position so he can throw it up on the ground. Once he's finished convulsing, you lower him back down and wrap your arms around him again.

"Sollux?" You ask. You nuzzle his cheek and he groans softly in response. He gives the weakest of nuzzles back. You coo and kiss his jaw as encouragement. "That's right. Come on back, friend."

Damn. It would suck if you had to use your powers to go back and stop this from ever happening in the first place. It looks like you might have to if he doesn't wake up quickly. You groan loudly and kiss his jaw again. He opens his eyes slowly and blinks at you.

"...I knnnow you," He slurs, and you grin at him.

"Yup! Welcome back to the land of the living!" He winces a little and you laugh. You squeeze onto him, and then realize it's probably safe to set him down now. It doesn't look like anyone's coming for you. At least for now. You set him on the ground, on a soft looking patch of moss.

He groans and twists to the side. And vomits on the grass. You grimace as you watch the contents of his stomach spew across the green and lift a hand to cover your mouth.

"Sollux, ew." You say. He gives you a scathing look and you realize that might have been a little insensitive. "Sorry! Want me to pick you back up? You need to be carried to-"

"Who even are you?" he demands, words slurring. You hum and shrug your shoulders.

"I'm just someone making sure you're okay!"

"Bullthit." He says. He spits out some more vomit, and you stick out your tongue.

"You're even more pessimistic then last time I visited you." You chide, reaching over to pet him a few times on the back. He groans quietly, and then rolls away from the vomit and off the moss.

He pulls himself to his feet with aching slowness, and you reach over to help hold him up when he nearly tips and falls on his face. He gives you a scathing look and you grin cheerfully at him.

"Grumpy pants!" You sing. He huffs and bats at you. "I'm Aradia. We've met a few times. I guess from your perspective, we've only met once or twice! I jump around and make sure you and your friends aren't getting in trouble."

"Why?" He rubs the back of his neck and rolls his shoulders. He's getting his strength back quicker then you'd hoped. You nudge him towards a stream and he walks over to it. He drops to his knees and drinks some water from the stream. Good, now you won't have to try to force him too.

"Well, it's complicated, but let's just say I like you." You tease. He turns and looks at you, cocking an eyebrow. He flicks water from his hands.

"I can't hear you." He says. Your smile falters a little. "I mean, I can hear your words. I can't hear you dying."

"Oh. I guess that means I die in the past!"

"Yeah, whatever." Sollux groans and stands up again. He wobbles and you reach over to grab him and make sure he stays upright.

"Let's get you somewhere safe!" You say. You smile at him and he stares at you for a moment. You don't think he's going to come willingly. You grin hugely, lift your hands, and snap your fingers. Nap time.

Sollux collapses and you barely catch him in time. You sigh and your grin drops as you pick him up. You really do need to get better at keeping yourself out of the spotlight, or you're going to end up in history books somewhere. In the meantime, you'll get Sollux hive and safe in bed, where, hopefully, all of this can be some bad dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot stay away from Beforus ancestors.


	78. Dave's Bro/Rose's mom

The thing about being a parent, Roxy decided, was that there was always a surprise to be had. That Rose had been hers had never been questioned by anyone. They looked...like a mother and daughter. When Roxy had taken a sample of Rose's blood, on a half drunk whim, to see if she was her daughter after all, the results had been blood chilling. They were blood related, mother and daughter. 

The only issue with that was that Rose had come hurtling down from the sky on a fuckin' rock. 

Now, as she stared at the results for Dave and Dirk's blood, her head swam with the implications. The only real explanation was that Roxy and Dirk had come from outer space as well. The before mentioned implications were staggering. They were aliens that looked and smelled and walked and talked like humans. If a duck was from outer space, was it really a duck? 

Dirk was silent when she told him the news, and he left without a word. That was Dirk. He knew things. Saw things. There was something deeply wrong with that man. 

And yet something connected them both. Their children, aye, but also their own origins, however strange they must be to allow Dave and Rose to be their children. Because, and here was the kicker, as sure as Rose was Roxy's daughter, Dave was her son as well. And Rose's father was none other then Dave's, the silent and irony loving Dirk Strider. And yet Roxy was sure she'd never done the bed bingo with him. Unfortunately. 

Now, here they sat, side by side, in the dream bubbles. Dirk's glasses were off. He looked tired and he accepted the drinks that Roxy gave him. He leaned heavily on her side and sniffled from time to time. 

Roxy had heard his tale. She wondered how much of it was true, and how much Dirk's own tendencies were to blame for Dave's suffering, and how much was Cal's fault. 

It didn't matter. What mattered now was that they were free of any foreign influence. She'd met a lad named John Crocker who'd been more then willing to explain it to her. He was a bit of a looker, and reminded her of her own boyfriend's John Egbert. The reasons for that had been explained. It had been...not as shocking as either of them expected. 

Drunk and sitting on the edge of the abyss. Roxy wondered if there was any more poetic way to face the end of her existence in the dream bubbles. Beside her, Dirk trembled as he saw the maker of his worst fears: Lord English. Roxy slipped her arm around him, and they waited for their end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't write drabbles enough for how much I enjoy them


	79. Equius/Lil Hal

Having his own body was weird. It didn't feel right to not be able to float and fly, to have two legs, triangle glasses glued forever to his face.

And then there was his head. No longer did numbers race through it, calculations done at the light of speed, phallus jokes and satire and foul language mixing with horses and an appreciation for art that was unparallelled to create an addicting mix and overall joy for being alive and able to feel again. There was just Equius.

Equius looked at the dead glasses in his hand. There wasn't any other way to think of them, now. They were dead. Devoid of the life that had known him as thoroughly as he'd known himself. He sighed softly and ran his fingers over the plastic, carefully. A twitch and they could snap. He'd loose even this shell.

He sighed, much heavier, and looked at the body. He and Dirk had built it. Roxy had helped with the coding, and even Sollux had written a few lines. Horuss had lent a hand as well, pointing out ways the body could be smoother or more delicate. When he'd tried to get Equius to make the body hoofed, Equius had booted him out of the 'Bring Hal To Life' program. Those who couldn't help often brought things over, or gave their company or a helping hand to hold things in place. Jade had brought over schematics, showing him blue prints and her old bot pieces that he could look over. They'd talked for hours about how to make the bot more human like.

And he was no damn closer.

There just wasn't anything to put into the bot.

It had been built so quickly Equius was almost disappointed. He was sure something was wrong, that it couldn't be that easy. Not even with people helping him so much. So he'd picked it apart, and then rebuilt it. And did it again. And again. And again. He could have done it in his sleep by now.

And Dirk had still failed to locate even a sliver of Hal's soul anywhere. There was a terrifyingly cold whisper that pointed out that Hal had never been part of the game. It wouldn't make sense for him to be in the new world.

Equius curled his fingers around the glasses. He snarled and slammed his fist into the bot.

"Fight back!" He commanded. He waited for the bot to move. Nothing. It was still. (Not like his old robots, who'd fight and fight and fight until he destroyed them completely.)

The face was like Dirk's, but with subtle differences. A nose that was closer to Equius's then Dirk's. Hair that flipped out more like Roxy's. Eyes his own startling and nearly offensive orange-red.

Open.

Dead.

Eyes.

Equius snarled again, and it rose into a hoarse, pained scream of rage. He slammed his hands into the bot. He tore it from the chair it was propped up in and threw it at the door.

It broke through it and halfway through the wall across from the door.

Equius panted softly, staring at it. It was already crumbling, just like a stupid mortal frame would have. Blood, fake orange-red, leaked onto the ground.

Equius didn't realize he was on his knees until his forehead touched the ground, nor did he realize he was crying until the blue pooled under his face. He sobbed weakly, and then screamed again. He hoped he could scream until his throat was raw and bloody, until it hurt as bad as his insides did.

He opened his mouth to scream again, but the noise died in his throat.

There was a thin blip.

A murmur of a number.

A tickle in the back of Equius's mind.

_6/12_

"What?" Asked Equius.

_It's been six months._

"Hal?" Equius sat up and stared at the body he'd shattered. He trembled. It couldn't be. Not after this long. Not inside Equius, the one place Dirk hadn't looked. It wouldn't take long to fix, the blip whispered. It never did, no matter how badly he broke it. A corner of his mind crunched the numbers three times, then spat back out how many hours it would take to repair. It was automatic, instinctual.

_I don't want to die._

"You're not going to die." Equius said, standing up. Conviction began to fill him like Author used to fill his milk glasses. "You're not going to die. I command you to hold on."

_Yes sir._

Equius reached to pick up the body and dragged it into the room. His mind spun with the possibilities of what he could do to it. There was a gentle tug, a small piece of his mind being devoted to running numbers. It grew, pulling, expanding.

_You want to make it into a horse, don't you?_

"Yes, a little bit."

_Do it._

Equius smiled ever so slightly and bent over his work. There were questions that were already being worked on (Why Equius? Why now? Could Hal get out? If so, how? Could someone help?) but they were a matter for later. For now, this robot, the tug in the back of his mind, and staying alive were what he'd work on.


	80. Porrim

Porrim leaned back on the pile of fabric she'd laid out for herself. Her husktop was playing soft music, the lights were all nearly off, candles were lit. She'd even dug into her wardrobe to find herself some old, comfortable sweats that she didn't even know she'd had. It was the perfect self paling atmosphere for her. She'd much rather someone else pale her, but she didn't have anyone at the moment, and it was left in her hands. Literally.

She inhaled slowly, and exhaled slowly. She would need to keep her breathing slow and relaxed through this. She focused on her breathing as she reached up with one hand and started to rub her left horn. It was just starting to flake. The perfect time for this. She reached over with her free hand to open the box of horn care supplies she'd found.

She took out oil, first, and a rag, and got the rag wet. She had to be careful, and tried not to shake too much with anticipation as she lifted it to her horn. She started to scrub away, and the horn flakes pealed off under her rag. She used one hand to rub and the other to put the flakes in a trash bin she'd set nearby. In about ten minutes, her horn was shiny and smooth and her vision was blurry with the pleasure of having her horn stimulated like that.

Porrim set the rag down, hand trembling, and whimpered softly. She didn't think she could do the other horn. At least, not herself.

She'd need to try, though. So she started on the second one, hands much clumsier and movements jerky as she did. The next horn took her nearly twice as long as the first one had. She manged it, though, and set the things aside.

With a low groan, Porrim leaned back on her pile and stared up at the ceiling. She began to recall past paling videos she'd seen. The ones with whips and healing up a partner excited her the most, and she thought about someone gently tending to her wounds. The thought of someone pinning her to a pile and bandaging her scrapes and cuts was enough to make a purr burst out of her chest.

She thought of herself tending to someone's wounds. If they fell and scrapped their knee, or got beat up, or hurt themselves. she thought of how it would feel to bandage them, gently, carefully. Her eyes slowly closed as she continued to imagine it. Her fingers twitched as if she was going to get up and do it right then.

 _I really need to get myself a moirail_ , she thought. With that last thought, she turned her mind to sleep, and was out in a number of minutes, dreaming of paling even then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I've given up at this point is it obvious enough just wondering


	81. Dualscar/Aradia

He's a wisp of violet by your side, reading over your shoulder. Plans dance in blue and teal and brown and rust and occasionally even the few violet lines that Vriska's friend graces on you. Time ticks on and you don't need to glance at your clock to tell how late it's getting.

Finally, he tugs, begins to whisper to you.

"Girl," He says. "Girl, girl. Rust blood. Little handmaid."

"Yes, Dualscar?" You respond.

"It's bed time. You need your sleep. It's late. Go to bed." He has this tendency to repeat himself. Some ghosts just do that, a little tick from being dead to long. Not all of them...Have all their thoughts in order all the time. This one is one of the worst. You think he's really, really old.

"I'm okay." You insist. He hisses softly, and you turn to look at him. He has ziz zag horns that match the scarring on his face, and he's purple tinted. Mostly see through. Purple tinting his hair from age. "Really!"

"To 'coon, girl." He says, and reaches out to nudge your arm. He frowns when it goes through your arm and you roll your eyes. He's not the best at remembering that he can't really touch things. "You shouldn't speak with the Serket spawn anyway. She harbors danger for you."

"I can take Vriska. She's not that bad." You say. He's always had this hate for Vriska. You don't get it. And he refuses to tell you why the name Serket upsets him so much. You don't normally not heed the warnings of ghosts, but Dualscar is just a worry wort! "What about if we talk to Ampora?"

He hesitates. For some reason, he enjoys speaking to Eridan, even under the guise of being you. Perhaps he enjoys spending time with his own blood color? You don't know if it's anything special, and even if it was, he wouldn't tell you. Then he huffs, and shakes his head.

"Bed. Go to 'coon. It is time for your rest, child." He says. You groan loudly. He's not to be deterred, though, and you are getting a little bit tired.

You bid your companions good day, and go through the simple bed time routine you have. Give mom a few good day brushes through her woolly coat, brush your teeth and wash your hands and face, and then climb into your coon.

Dualscar rests next to it, leaning on the wall. He will leave, sometime during the day. He usually does. You half hope that he'll give you some peace and quiet before he returns and forbids you to speak with Serket and that funny purple blood again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops have a ghost dadding a smol explorer.


	82. B!Feferi/B!Aradia

Feferi had built her kingdom from the ground up. With her bare hands and her endless compassion and kindness. Sometimes alone and sometimes with the help of those she loved and hated. But now, centuries upon centuries later, she was tired, so, achingly, incredibly tired of living. She was so old. Her face wrinkled, her hair more faded pink then black, her frame growing thin and wasted.

She needed an heiress.

Her moirail had promised that she should have one. An heiress, she promised, that would be stronger in spirit and freer of mind then ancient Feferi. Anything more, she would not say. It frustrated Feferi to no end to have secrets kept from her, but there was nothing she could do to convince her moirail to give more information.

The two of the sat across from each other, eating tea and biscuits, and Feferi contemplated how much she could wrestle more information from the time hopping rust blood.

"When will she come?" Feferi inquired, tipping her head to the side. Aradia lifted her head and grinned cheerfully.

"In due time," She answered. She dipped a biscuit in her tea, then ate it. "You shouldn't ask me to give you what I cannot. It's cruel and it gets your hopes up that you'll actually learn something!"

"I need to know so that I can prepare," Feferi said. She sipped her tea. Aradia sighed, grin dropping, and glanced at Feferi's face, exasperation written across her face.

"...Soon. She'll come soon. You will not know it when she does, but when you learn, you shall treat her in a way that will drive her further from your heart then you will know until it is far too late," Aradia said. Her voice was softer now, and she reached across the table to touch Feferi's hand. "But this you will withstand. I have seen it. I will be by your side and you will be as a rock. Trust the Serket child."

"...Thank you," Feferi said. Aradia squeezed onto her hand, then let it go. "There's nothing I can do to change this?"

"Nope! But it's all right. It's going to turn out exactly how it's supposed to," Aradia said. "Now, eat your tea and tell me how your advisors are pissing you off this time."

Feferi smiled and obeyed, speaking of her advisors and their issues and trying to ignore the growing suspicion in the back of her mind that Aradia's warnings were only given because the time was near. But, it was a discussion for another time, and soon enough, Aradia distracted her from her fears for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the idea of Beforuan Feferi being tight with Beforuan Aradia unlike Alternian Meenah and Damara. Also I did B erisol so i thought it was only fair to do some B arafef!


	83. Jane/Dirk

The first time you see him, he's straight faced, ten years old, and can't look you in the eye. _Find my brother_ , he demands, _His name is Dave Strider and he's six years old and you're the best detective ever, so find him._

You do your best, because you're Jane Crocker, and you have yet to fail a job. And you find him, against all odds, a complete chance. He's in a warehouse and you bring him home to your client. And your client is so happy.

The second time you see him, he's frowning, thirteen years old, and wearing shades. _Find my friend,_ he demands, _Her name is Roxy Lalonde and you and her are friends so find her._

You do your best, because she is your friend, and you have yet to fail a friend. You find her easily, drunk in a bar and lost in herself and you bring her home. Everyone is happy.

You see him more often after that. Maybe because you're looking. Maybe because he's not hiding. Either way, you speak with him and he's funny and he's smart and he knows what it's like to lose the people you love.

The last time you see him, he's crying, sixteen, and his shades are broken. _I need you to hide me,_ he says, _You're my friend, so hide me._

And you do. You hide him from the corrupt police force because he is your friend, and you'd do anything for this boy who's wriggled his way under your wing and stayed there.

You fail. They find him. They bring him to Mayor English. They find him because you failed to realize how dangerous the government really was.

You look after Dave and Roxy for him. You hide his work in your basement. And a part of you hopes he made it out alive and that the government is lying about executing him in private. But even if that's the case, you'll never know.

Which is a shame, because, he really was your friend.


	84. Vriska/Gamzee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for like...vomit and gross stuff and general vriska meanness? and being tied up? idk man have some vriska being sorta pale to gamgam bc she feels bad-ish for locking him in a fridge with literal dead bodies for three years

Vriska rapped against the fridge. There was a weak honk from inside. She scowled. She didn't want to do this. She wasn't in the wrong, of course, he deserved to be stuffed in there. Who knew what would happen if he hadn't been! But that didn't mean there wasn't doubt about stuffing a kid in a refrigerator. Then again...bad things happened to kids all over Alternia. It didn't matter!

Vriska stripped off the chains. She had made a promise to bring Gamzee back. She'd keep it. She took a deep breath and grabbed the fridge door. She exhaled and swung it open. Instantly, the smell of rotting flesh assaulted her and she gagged. Nearly vomited. There was already vomit on the insides of the fridge, as well as other bodily excrement. Some dead corpse pieces tumbled out onto the ground.

Gamzee was there, of course. He was sitting on the bottom, long, lanky limbs curled around himself. His eyes were wide and his breathing quick. When he saw Vriska, he honked, a shrieking, terrifying sound. Vriska lifted her foot and slammed it into his shoulder.

"Shut up!" She snapped. He honked again, just as loud, and Vriska tried to slam the door shut. Gamzee, however, had other ideas.

When he saw his trap closing, he moved, scrambling out of the fridge and several feet away. He stood up and faced Vriska. She growled and slammed the fridge door closed.   
  
"Don't get any ideas, clown. I've had it up to hear with bullshit. You're coming back to the camp so we can take care of you," Vriska said. She pulled some rope out of her sylladex and held them out to Gamzee. His ears twitched. "Karkat said you liked ropes. That they were some sort of pale thing with you."

"...You intent on actin' all pale on a brother after bein' mortal unrighteous to his dignity and health?" Gamzee growled. His ears flicked forward. Vriska's did as well.

"No, dumbass, I'm tying you up either way because I don't trust you. Karkat said-"

"Then Karkat can come his DAMN SELF instead of sending his SPIDER BITCH TO FUCKING ROPE ME UP LIKE SOME MOOBEAST THATS BEEN LET OUT TO FEAST TOO LONG!" Gamzee snarled.

"Listen to me! I'm not being pale. I'm just tying you up because that's going to be the least traumatic way to bring you back home and make sure you're harmless," Vriska said.

Gamzee hissed at her, but didn't move as she walked closer to him. She grabbed his hands, none too gently, and wrapped the rope around them. He could break the ropes, no doubt, but it made her feel safer. And Gamzee looked interested in the ropes. Once they were done, Vriska took the end and started to lead him back towards the hives.

She looked back after a few moments, and raised an eyebrow. Gamzee was staring at the ropes, head tilted to the side and wrists in front of his face. He looked calm, eyes half closed and lips covering his teeth. There was a whimsical smile on his face.

"Hey, dipshit!" Vriska called. He looked up and his smile grew, showing off his nasty teeth. "What's so funny?"

"I like ropes," He said dreamily. Vriska scowled and looked forward.

"Whatever. I'm taking you to have a bath before I pass you off to Karkat," She said. He honked.

The walk to the nearest home (Jade's) wasn't long and Vriska coaxed him into the house. The bathroom was large and had stars all over the wall. Vriska stopped Gamzee in front of the tub and took off the ropes. He whined softly.

"Take off your clothes," She said. Gamzee stared at her. "Off, come on."

He continue to stare, so with an inward cursing of the entire Vantas blood line, Vriska peeled Gamzee's clothes off for him. She started the bath and got it to a nice tempeture, then nudged him in.

Once Gamzee was settled into the bath, Vriska tied up his arms to the faucet. She left him in the bathroom and sent a message to Karkat to pick him up.

Best to let the professional palers handle that. Vriska had other bullshit to attend to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hey Vriska can you call me something other then dipshit"  
> "No"


	85. Damara/Meenah

You wouldn't have been caught dead in a place like this a few sweeps ago. Beforus's hottest pale club, however, has been looking more and more tantalizing as the sweeps pass and you remain moirailless. So, a few nights ago, you sent in a request for a reservation there.

Usually, it takes a couple weeks at least to get in, assuming you aren't a regular and do have money. Being one of two fuchsia bloods has it's perks and you were bumped up and slotted in. You hop out of your car as it stops there, and swagger up to the building. Your jeans nearly slip off of your hips, and you hike them up with a huff. You could tighten your belt, but you really like the way it looks at this moment. Maybe later.

Once you're in, you look around. The room is covered in that lovely soft diamond pink and most of the decorations are either diamond shaped or have diamonds on them, or some other pale symbol on it. Toys and paling supplies are sitting right out on tables and your cheeks heat up even though you were expecting this. Your fins flatten down and you slink over to an empty couch.

The set up is startlingly simplistic. All sorts of couches are set up, tables between or in front of them. Curtains fall in some places, obscuring your view of some corners. The place echoes with soft, classical music and even quieter chirrs and coos and clicks. Purrs are the most plentiful of sounds, though, nearly everyone is purring.

You can see a worker on her stomach, flipping through a book and playing with a collar around her neck. She twists her neck different ways to bare it, and her horns are in a dreadful state. Flakes are literally hanging off. She's dressed in soft, red clothing.

You groan and press your face into the couch. This is too much. Maybe you should just go. A few moments pass, and then someone touches your shoulder. You jerk your head up and stare at them. It's the girl that was reading. She grins at you, lips painted red and eyeshadow heavy.

"Hey," You say, and scoot over a little. The girl collapses onto the couch more then anything, her back slamming against the back of the couch. You wince but she just grins wider and leans towards her.

"Speak main, yes?" She asks. Her voice is very heavily accented and it takes a moment to pick apart the accent. You nod quickly when you do.

"Uh, yeah. Meeneh Peixes, yo," You greet, offering a hand. She takes it and shakes it firmly.

"I pleased to meet you," She says, squeezing and then letting go. "Very few patrons sit alone so long. Why not find someone?"

"You found me pretty quick, gurl," You point out. "Got a name?"

"Damara," She says. You nod. For the life of you, you can't think of anything to say. She speaks up before an awkward silence can fall. "Want to be tied?"

"Whoa, what?" Pink rushes up to your cheeks.

The girl grabs a rope off a near by table and pulls on it. She waggles her eyebrows with that same grin. It's _mischievous_. God help you.

"Aw, girly, come on," You say, covering your pink face with a hand. "You come on fuckin' strong, you know that?"

"Yes. Want to punish me?" There go those eyebrows again. Her eyebrows are out of control. You huff and swat at her.

"Some other time."

"Aw."

"Go on, shoo, I betteh be gettin' back anyhow. Sea ya around, gurl," You say. You stand up and she lays down where you were just sitting.

"Other time," She says. You nod and turn away.

"Other time." Feels more like a promise then a way to worm your way out of a situation you are so not prepared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna write a continuation where Meenah comes back and Damara pales her.


	86. Beforus Kanaya/Beforus Karkat

Being the Empress's speaker was no easy business. Karkat had a lot of work to do, running around to bring messages to other clans. The rust bloods wanted an insurance that no psionic collars were ever to be used by anyone and all designs would be burned. The blue bloods wanted the designs right away. The violets didn't want the rust clans to be let into the empire at all.

He rubbed his head as he ran his eyes over the trade agreements between the bronze and the olives. It was all so dreadfully, needlessly complex. Feferi was doing her best to be reasonable, he knew that, but even he'd be pushed to his limits by these bumbling morons.

He slammed his nubby horns against the wall behind him. He was seated in a tiny room that Fef had called his office with a very apologetic smile. It was hardly enough room for him to move about in, let alone keep in all his records and supplies in. 'Speaker.' More like 'Bookkeeper.'

Not that he didn't do a lot of speaking. He did. He just wished he could do more and he wished people would listen to him. Someone knocked on his door and he groaned to himself. Right. Of course his work would be interrupted.

"Come in!" He yelled. They opened the door and came in and he lifted his head. "Not like I'm getting anything done anyw-Kanaya!"

"Greetings, Speaker." She said, dipping her head. Her hair framed her face perfectly, her dress flattered her form, and the light that spilled in from the hallway put her in an ethereal glow. Karkat wondered for a moment if he was seeing things, then he realized he wasn't, Kanaya was really, actually here. He jumped out of his chair, over his desk, and flung himself into her slightly pudgy, tall form.

"Shut up, you grub hogging piece of sludge." Karkat snapped, pressing his face into her shoulder. "What took you so long to visit?"

"I was busy with the grubs, Karkat." She said, amusement lacing her voice like a sedative. "I came as soon as I could. I can't believe you're actually the empress's Speaker."

"Empress of a moronic, stunted, squabbling gaggle of dipshits." He said.

"Are you going to let me go?"

"No."

Kanaya laughed and wrapped her arms around Karkat's shoulders. She squeezed him gently.

"I missed you, Karkat." She said. Karkat grumbled, nuzzling the space where her neck met her shoulders. He had to stand on tip toe to reach it, but he managed it.

"Missed you." He whispered.

Kanaya gently peeled Karkat's hands off of her and stepped back to look at him, hands placed on either of his shoulders to hold him in place. He waited for her reaction with bated breath. He was taller, broader, hair longer and muscled now. He'd changed a lot. Kanaya looked about the same, he realized. Jade bloods did have a decent lifespan, not even counting their tendency to turn into a drinker.

"So?" He asked after a few moments. She smiled, and squeezed onto his shoulders.

"You have grown into a fine young man." Kanaya said. "I'm excited to see what you and Feferi can accomplish. I came to speak with you about the Jades joining the empire, actually." Karkat's mood, first driven to pride by her praise, now soured. Of course she just came to talk to him about empire related stuff.

"Yeah, yeah, great. We'll bring it before Feferi tonight at dinner." He said, waving a hand. She dipped her head.

"As you say, Speaker. Might I suggest something to occupy our time before we go and speak with the empress?" Kanaya asked.

"What?"

"A feelings jam."

Karkat's ears pricked up and he grinned before he could stop himself.

"That sounds damn fun, 'Naya." He said. She slid her hands down his arms and twined their fingers together. She pulled him out of the room, towards the guest housing, her skin flickering on to a soft glow, and Karkat stumbled after her. The Empire could wait. He had a moirail to tend to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have less then 15 chapters to go. Woot woot.


	87. Meenah/Jane

Crocker Corps. The bane of the universe. Led by the Empress of Alternia. Jane had spent years not believing the rumors of her beloved benefactor's evil, but she'd eventually been forced to realize how bad Betty Crocker was. With Roxy, Dirk, and Jake by her side, Jane had led a rebellion and nearly overthrown the batter witch. They didn't have the strength, the resources, the experience, though, and eventually, the four were forced into hiding.

Until twelve trolls came through 'the veil' to help. The leader was Meeneh Pexies, alt. self of the batter witch herself. And she was ready to take names and kick ass.

Now, she was curled up on the couch with Meenah. They'd won, finally, after years. Sweeps, Meenah called them. Every two years meant one sweep. One of the many oddities of the trolls.

Jane laid her head in Meenah's lap and stuck her tongue out.

"Ay, gurl," Meenah said. She set a hand over Jane's face and Jane sucked her tongue back in. She knew from experience that Meenah tasted like salt and sugar and that was not a pleasant combination. "Whatcha gonna do now that we're at the top?"

"We'll figure it out tomorrow," Jane responded. "For tonight, you and I will celebrate the toppling of your evil alternant universe's self's evil empire."

"Ain't you too tired to celebrate?" Meenah said, prodding Jane in her belly. Jane oofed and swatted her hand. "I'm not, boat that's just cuz I'm a bitchin' chick."

"Buster, you're as exhausted as I am," Jane curled her fingers around Meenah's wrist and squeezed gently. There was a tattoo on it, a light blue diamond. Meenah had gotten it a few weeks ago. Jane hadn't realized how flattering it was until Aranea had pulled her aside and explained it.

Meenah scowled and wrapped her arm around Jane's waist. She dragged the human into her lap and raised an eyebrow.

"Dunno what you're talkin' boat," Meenah grumbled. Jane laughed, and pressed her face into Meenah's chest. Meenah was sharp, all hard edges and lean muscle. Her chest was pretty damn flat. Not much to muffle her laughter in. Jane didn't mind.

There was a lot Jane had come to not mind about Meenah, come to think of it. She lifted her head and looked at Meenah. Meenah met her gaze and lifted her eyebrows.

"Somethin' the matter, small fry?" Meenah quipped. Jane snorted.

"Hardly. I'm just thinking about how much I'm going to miss you when you go back to this so called alternant reality of yours," Jane said.

"Still don't believe it? Daaaamn, woman, you are one tough gurl to convince," Meenah said, rolling her eyes. "Guess I'll just have to bring you with me to prawn it."

"That was _horrible_ ," Jane said. Meenah snickered. "But, yes, I'd like to at least pay a visit to your world."

"Consider it a date, investa-gator."

"You stop it this moment, young lady!"

Meenah grinned her shark toothed grin, and Jane burst into laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so close to having this finished ohhh my gosh.


	88. Calliope/Roxy

You are a green, hard skinned, alien. She is a fleshy, soft, pink haired, human. It's fun, actually, when you two sit down and talk about how different you are. She delights in it. At first, you were ashamed of yourself, of how you looked. You've grown to love yourself, however, with her help. You feel comfortable in your own body.

It's funny, actually. Neither of you should be able to carry on a moirailship. And yet, you do. With each other. It's even stranger then if two humans carried it on. You're even more unqualified, seeing as how your only romantic abilities are as close to black as humans are to red.

But you make it work. You both do. It's hard, sometimes, and you've needed some serious help from Karkat and Kanaya, at times.

But being curled up on a couch, laughing, sharing a cup of tea. Being so close that you can finish each other's sentences. Knowing that you can go to her, any time of day or night, and she'll listen to you. Having someones back and their complete trust.

It's amazing. You love it. You love her, your Roxy Lalonde. Your moirail.

It's still hard, sometimes, when you don't pick up on something or when she can't figure something out. Sometimes you fight, have screaming matches that end in tears. Once, you hit her. The look of shock on her face made you break down in wails.

It works. That's the important part. That's what you keep reminding yourself. Even when your claws feel too sharp, or her voice is too loud, it works to be moirails with her.

Sometimes you have to ask her to whisper, everything gets to be too much and you need her to snuggle you down in blankets with a bunch of tea and hot cocoa and soothing music. And she does. No one else has you figured out as well as Roxy does.

God, do you love Roxy Lalonde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I don't ship this, I'm interested in two species who can't technically carry out a troll relationship carrying out a troll relationship.


	89. Roxy/Latula

Latula narrowed her eyes as her car curved around a corner. She slammed it into Roxy's car, and let out a whoop as Roxy's went off the edge and her own sped into the goal.

"Another win for the troll gurl!" Latula hollered, pumping her fists. Her cheer was weaker then most nights and her fist didn't go as high. She hoped Roxy wouldn't notice it. She didn't want to talk about why she wasn't as enthusiastic tonight. However, Roxy paused the game and glanced over to Latula.

"You okay?" Roxy asked. Latula groaned inwardly. She forced a eye roll and stuck out her tongue.   
  
"What, ready to call it a night so you don't suffer another humiliating loss?" Latula taunted. Her tone was weak and she knew it. Roxy sighed quietly.

"Latula." Roxy said. Latula groaned and pressed her forehead into her hand.

"I don't want to talk about it, babe. I just want to chill and play some video games, okay?" Latula said, perhaps sterner the she really meant it to be. Roxy stared at her for a few moments, then relented.

"Fiiine. But we're going to talk about this eventually." Roxy said. Latula didn't reply, picking the next level of Mario Kart.

They played in silence for a while, only a few taunts and cheers being passed between them. The playing soothed Latula's mind, relaxing her and letting her work through her thoughts. It was an old ritual from when she didn't have a moirail and one that still worked just as good. She sighed to herself as she finished the level in second place.

"It's just, difficult, you know?" She asked as Roxy picked another level. Roxy nodded. "I put, all this time into caring for Mituna. And it's not that I don't love him, because I really do. I try to protect him. That's my roll, to protect, right? As a knight? But I just...Man, I don't know. It's hard. And I never really get through to him. He's changed a lot. And it's not like I'm not still totes flushed for him, because I am! But it's hard."

Roxy didn't say anything. There was an immense relief in having her not say anything. Maybe Roxy knew that. She huffed when a red shell hit her and Latula laughed weakly as she sped by.

"I want him back. I know I won't get him back and I don't want to dump him because that is a majorly shitty thing to do." Latula continued. She paused, and Roxy shrugged.

"Gurl, this is like, really hard. I understand what you mean. But sometimes you need to do what's healthy for you. Keep helping him, stay with him, if you gotta, but you also need to make sure you take care of you. I can't always be there for you, right?" Roxy said. She flashed Latula a smile, and Latula smiled back weakly.

"I really do love him." Latula's voice was quiet. Her heart squeezed as she thought about the differences between what he'd been and what he was. She looked down. Her Mituna was lost, under the layers of this new Mituna.

She lifted her head when Roxy set a hand on it.

"Kurloz will take care of him. Don't break yourself taking care of him. Okay?" Roxy said.

It made sense. She couldn't take care of Mituna when she was so exhausted she could barely bare to be around him another minute. Being a Knight meant protecting herself just as much as anything.

"...Okay. Thanks, Roxy." Latula said.

"No prob. Hah!" Roxy let out a cheer as she slammed her car into Latula's and sped past her. "I win!"

Latula laughed, a real, strong laugh this time.

"Only once, La-loser."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gamer Gurlz


	90. Redglare/Mindfang

She is stupid. She is stupid and arrogant and flamboyant and ridiculous and you sort of want her head on a pike. But at the same moment, you want her to realize how stupid she is, and to repent for said stupidity, and all of her other sins. When you tell this to dragonmom, she huffs out a puff of breath and rolls her red eyes.

Mindfang.

The name is seered into your mind, ha ha hardy har. You almost smacked Kurloz when he said that. But it's true. She's a question that's never been posed to you before.

What do you do when you have some pale and/or pitch crush on someone you're supposed to drag back for execution. She knows, of course, she must. She certainly screws with you like she knows. She papped your cheek when you cornered her in a bar the other night, flashed her fangs and papped your cheek and escaped while your guard was down.

You almost can't blame Dualscar for doing what he did with her, if Mindfang is telling the truth about what he did with her. There's a fury behind her eyes when she talks of the recently deceased Orphaner. It almost leads you to believe you when she tells you she really did feel for him.

But that doesn't change the fact that she's once again seducing an Officer of the Law and that she must be stopped. Problem is, you don't know how to stop her. It leaves you fretful and frustrated and she continues to escape your grasp. She's like some slippery worm that you can't quite trap because your thumbs are tied up.

She needs someone to keep her in check is what she needs. Someone to challenge her to be better. Because she could be extraordinary if she stopped trying to be a pirate for eight god damned seconds.

You make sure to tell her that next time you see her and she laughs in your face. She almost looks convinced, though. Almost. Not quite.

So you sigh and wonder if you're going to be forced to drag her in for a good old dose of Justice. Hopefully you won't. But who can tell, with her? She plays life like its a game she can't loose and it's infuriating to you. She is so stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love love love pitch/pale stuffs so *flails hands at this*
> 
> We've only got ten more to go HELL YEAH


	91. Calliope/Dirk

Calliope knocked quietly on the frame of the door, gut twisting with trepidation as she did. Dirk jerked his head up and stared blankly at her. She shrank back from the door, hiding behind the frame. Having people look at her, having contact with people, was still so odd. It was, thankfully, as odd for Dirk as it was for her. At least Roxy had had the carapaces. Dirk had been completely alone except for his own inventions.

"Hey," Dirk greeted after a couple seconds. She nodded, and crept into the room. Dirk bent his head back over the gears in his hand and continued to tinker with them.

She sat down on the bench with him. Silence covered the room like a blanket. Dirk went here for the same reason she did. Because the talking, the laughter, the touching, the everything of the rooms was just too much. This shared feeling between them gave a bond that was deeper then what they shared with the others.

Dirk leaned towards her slightly, and she met him, leaning back against him. A small, comfortable bit of contact. Something they were both all right with, that they could stop if it became uncomfortable for either of them. She closed her eyes, and let the silence cover her, as well. And it was a lovely, blessed feeling. The feeling in her gut began to fade and she exhaled in relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I straight up refuse to believe that Cali and Dirk were 100% okay with the normal amount of contact of othrs. Jade too for that matter.


	92. Dirk/Mituna

Dirk was a human mechanic on a ship in the troll space navy. He was working maintenance in the broken helm tonight, a lucky position for his species. The helmsman had finally overloaded. He waded through waist deep, ice cold muck that got in every crevice and would itch for a week, to boot up a guy who'd hate him for forcing him to live another few months in this hellish existence. 

Dirk glanced up at what was basically a corpse at this point. A scrawny body, topped with closed eyes, a gaping mouth, a head of loose curly hair, and smeared with yellow blood. Dirk wasn't phased. It was a sight he'd seen before. Many, many times. And he'd keep seeing it. He didn't like it, but he was used to it.

He touched the helm's side, and, once he was sure he wouldn't react, began to slid his hand up to the wires on the back of his neck. Once, he hadn't tested first, and had gotten a finger bit off. He pinched a biowire, and it squirmed, then slipped out of the hole it had been in with a squelching sound. He pulled a newer biowire from where it was hanging, tip in the muck, and pressed it back into the hole. He screwed with the wires and the helm until the computers dinged that he was 'online'. 

He groaned softly, and waded through the muck again until he reached the computer. 

Helm: WH47 7H3 F0CK

"Don't spell fuck with a zero," Dirk said. 

Helm: F0ck y00

"Oh my god, stop it," Dirk said, covering his face with a hand. "How do you feel? No screwing around, I've got a lot of shit on my plate."

Helm: 3Verything hurts and i hate all of you even you you stupid squishy human

"Pap."

Helm: excuse me

"That's the troll word for calm your tits, right?" Dirk asked. The Helm didn't respond for several minutes, and when it did, it was only pages of 3H3H3H3H. Dirk sighed and rubbed his forehead. Trolls. "Where did it go wrong this time?"

Helm: If I tell you, will you kill me?

"Nope. I'd get killed then," 

Helm: :( :(

Dirk grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, dude, I'm sorry. We're going to get out of this. I told you."

Helm: :( :(

Dirk sighed and got to work running the tests himself.

-

They were done in the mining belt. Almost a year later, they'd done their surveys and sent back their info. Now, they just had to make their way back with hard evidence to prove that it would be worth a mission to go out and mine.

And Dirk was once again back in the helm block. This time, however, once he'd ran his test to make sure the helm wouldn't respond to his hands, he started to undo the wires and didn't put new ones in this time. Once the last ones were out, the Helm swung forward. 

Dirk caught him, and swung him over his shoulders. He waded his way out of the room, then started to hurry down the halls, careful to make sure the Helm's head didn't bang against the walls. The Helm groaned softly. Dirk ignored it, only walking faster. Thankfully, he didn't run into anyone. All, or most, of the trolls were chin deep in sopor.

He got to the escape pods, opened one, and set the Helm into it. He stepped into it, and locked the door behind them. Then he sealed it and started entering the codes he'd found and memorized starting months ago. 

The escape pod shot out of the ship. The Helm stirred, and lifted his head. He stared at Dirk through the mat of hair, and the back of Dirk's neck prickled. Maybe the Helm didn't want to be rescued and squirreled off to one of the many human resistance cells. Maybe he was vicious and was about to leap across the room and rip Dirk's throat out. 

"...What?" The Helm's voice was sounded awful. Slurred and ill used. It took several moments for Dirk to decode his words. "What, are you doing?"

"I'm rescuing you," Dirk stated. 

The Helm blinked slowly. He blinked again. Then again. He whimpered. It took Dirk another few moments to realize he was crying, and when he did, he stood up. 

"What?" The Helm wheezed. 

Dirk crossed the pod in a step, and sat next to him. He gave the Helm's shoulder an awkward little pat. The Helm swayed and then tipped towards Dirk. Dirk hestitated, unsure, then wrapped his arms around the Helm. 

"I was going to escape anyway. It made sense to take their engine," Dirk explained. His explanations sounded weak. 

"You could have killed me," The Helm whimpered out. Dirk didn't respond past a pat on the shoulder. "N-no wonder you had be dithable the protocallth. Fuck. You fucker."

Dirk stroked down his back, careful not to touch his ports, and waited for him to cry it out. When the Helm had finished his cry, Dirk spoke again. 

"We're going to some friends of mine. You're going to help us, give us what you know about your people, in exchange for safety and help. Deal?" Dirk said. 

"Yeah, fuck yeth, deal ten timeth over. Thank you," The Helm said. 

"You got a name?"

"Mituna Captor," 

"Welcome aboard, Mituna Captor," Dirk said. He papped Mituna's cheek, like he'd seen in one of the porno vids he'd asked for, and Mituna leaned into his hand. Dirk's heart tried to melt, but he kept it firmly in it's spot. 

"Thankth, captain," Mituna said. Dirk's heart tried once more to melt, and he groaned inwardly. His growing feelings for the troll weren't unexpected, really. But they would certainly complicate things. 

He leaned back into his seat, letting Mituna lean on him, and waited for the pod to make it's journey. He could sort out feelings later. For now, he had to help his new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw u get saved by ur doctor


	93. Aradia/Eridan

The first time you meet Aradia, all you know about her is that she and Sollux were buddy buddy for a while. You're cold to her. She is interested in you, but she gives up after the first insult to her blood color.

It's a few weeks after that that you walk into the living room and find her pouring over one of your favorite books. It's a history book on the conquests of a few mid bloods of decent behavior. You're surprised to find her reading something like that, and before you know it, you're sitting next to her chatting about it.

The next surprise about Aradia is her tea taste, which is superb. She shares it with you, and you lend her a book that she gives you a very enthusiastic, hateful report on later. You counter, and she counters, and you counter back. It's the most fun you've had since the universe dropped you off in new universe.

Before long, tea nights become a weekly thing between the two of you. You spend hours arguing about if the old military history books are full of 'bull shit empire propaganda' or not. She claims to talk to ghosts who know better and you claim she's crazy and the two of you laugh until dawn.

She asks something about Sollux, once, and you answer without even thinking. You were sprited with him, of course you know. She doesn't look all convinced, but it's enough to help her. You go to her for help with the humans sometimes. More often, she tells you how to act with someone or slams her elbow into your gut when you say something rude.

Karkat sees the two of you on the couch talking one evening and firmly tells you two to get a room. That's the first time it really hits you, what you're doing, and everything after that is much more flustered. After all, you've failed before this. Why would you succeed at this one?

One night, Aradia firmly grabs your head, squishing your thin cheeks in the cups of her warm palms and tells you to relax before you break someone. She leads the dance that makes up your moirailship. You follow, clumsy and unsure in your fear.

Eventually, you learn to step where she steps. Your dance becomes smooth and easy. Aradia still leads, but you no longer trip.

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you finally have a moirail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried so hard to not make another Eridan one and I failed so badly.


	94. Jade/Cronus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One sideded and Cronus being an ASS.

Your name is Cronus Ampora and oh boy that is one hot looking chick. Jade Harley, Aranea says her name is, and you're already walking away as she explains she's the Witch of something or other. That Maryam aspect. Whatever. 

You swagger up to her, grin and fling some cheesy line at you. The look she returns you is less the accommodating, but hey, let it never be said you can't swing black if a pretty gal like her wants that. So you tug a little on her hair and ask if she's looking for something the same shade as it. 

Confusion flickers across her face, then annoyance, and she brushes your hand off and tells you very firmly that she's not. Playing hard to get, obviously. Aight, you can swing that too. 

The next handful of nights are spent chasing her down, sniffing her out, and cornering her. It gets a little offensive, though. Playing hard to get is one thing, but she seems to be actually avoiding you! You! Cronus Ampora, sea dweller who's decided to lavish his attention on her despite the fact that she's a human. She's so ungrateful. You pout for a night, then get back too it. It's no time for self pity!

You finally manage to find Jade hard at work in her laboratory. You walk over and lean on her desk, setting a hand on some boring pieces of paper. 

"Hey, sweetcheeks." You greet. She sighs deeply. Stands up. Turns to face you. And then swings her fist and slams it into the bridge of your nose.

You go reeling back, gasping in pain. Blood trickles out of your nose. Not a lot (You are a highblood.) but enough to stain your shirt and make it throw-outable. Damnit. 

When you shake off the stars, you stare at her in shock. Jade has her arms crossed and is glowering at you. 

"Can't you take a hint?" She snaps. "I don't want to be your girl friend! I'm very happy with who I have."

You gape at her. She doesn't want to be your girlfriend? 

"You need some serious help." She continues. "Shoo! Get out of here!"

Your face flushes darkly. First in shame, then in realization. She wants to be your moirail! Some sort of pitch-moirail...? Well. Sure, why not? A guy like you is nothing if he ain't able to flip around when his girl wants to. 

"Sure you don't want to be the one to help me?" You ask, wiggling your eyebrows. 

As expected, she insists, so you leave her alone and go to brush up on your pitch-diamonds. Unfortunately, it's completely platonic, Aranea says. Fortunately, many small niches consider it to be a completely valid quadrant! 

So, you pitch flirt. Little back handed compliments, and comments on how she might do something better. Constantly trying to one up her. She gets frustrated easily with you, and it's not uncommon for you to walk away with a black eye or a bloody nose. Harmless flirting, you say when you get asked. 

Someone makes a comment once about her that you don't like at all. Vriska, you think her name is. The little Serket. You snap back something, and tack on a warning about talking about Jade like that, and the little Serket gives you a weird look. You're a bit surprised yourself, but, hey, what sort of a pitch-diamond would you be if you didn't protect your partner? 

After a few months, you're completely settled in. Jade still hardly tolerates you, but hell, it's good enough for you. And you have your first ever real quad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cronus...You dipshit...I hate you...


	95. Beforus Nepeta/Beforus Tavros

Tavros walked into the cabin he and the Hunteress shared. It was a small space, a bed on either side with a single door, no windows, and a bear rug on the floor. A couple shelves, a chest, a fireplace. As simple as the two could make it. He sighed contentedly, and slipped the bag off of his shoulders. The hive was small, but it was his, and he loved it.

Nepeta wouldn't be back for some time, he knew. She was hunting on the edge of the empress's lands. The empress was an up and coming political figure that intended to take gentle hold of the world's power. Tavros didn't care. She seemed nice and her empire was quiet and peaceful. So long as she didn't take his sheep and cows and so long as she left Nepeta alone to hunt, he would be happy.

He started a stew. It was his favorite. Cow meat with some vegetables he grew next to their cabin and some herbs he picked when he was watching his herd. Nepeta had a fondness for it herself. He grinned as he heard the door open and looked over to her.

"Hey." He said. She waved and sniffed at the air. A grin broke across her face a moment later and she signed briefly. "Yup. Our favorite."

She trotted over, dropped a pile of coins on the money shelf as she did and plopped down next to him. She made their money by catching and selling animals. Once she'd brought down a mountain lion. They'd had a whole new round of clothing, bed sheets, and utensils then. Tavros made a little money by herding animals, but his main job was keeping their food and house up.

Tavros lifted an arm, and Nepeta plopped down next to him. She leaned against his side. He wrapped his arm around her tightly. She was colder then him, but not unpleasantly so. Just enough to ward off the heat. He never asked if he was too hot for her. He didn't ask a lot. She couldn't respond even if she did. They knew only the most basic of hand B.S.L.

But neither of them had ever been big on talking anyway. Silence was what they used. Actions and behavior that proclaimed their loyalty and love for one another. Tavros started to purr softly as he smelled the stew. He didn't know if there was a more perfect situation for two moirails to be in, but if there was, he wouldn't choose it over this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am? Almost? Done?? WHOOT. Like five more to go, right?


	96. Aranea/Meenah

Aranea's plan had failed. That seemed like all that Aranea was capable of doing, lately, was failing. No one listened to her unless she paid them, she hadn't been able to find the Muse, and now, she'd failed in making herself relevant. What little relevance she did have had been wiped completely away.

She sniffled and kicked a rock off the path in front of her. It was a pink path into the absolute darkness. Dark as her soul, really. Funny, as she was the Sylph of Light. Reviver of Knowledge. She growled as she kicked the next rock off of her path.

What little relationship she and Meenah had had was gone now, surely. They'd hardly been the best of moirails after the whole...blowing everyone up thing. Now? Oh, now it was surely over.

"Yo!" The hair on the back of Aranea's neck stood up a little. "Yo, Serks! Bait the fuck up!"

Aranea turned and jumped. Behind her, the path was a soft yellow, glowing and illuminating beautiful stages with frozen pictures of the Alpha Troll Session. Meenah was racing down the path, trident in hand. She grinned as she met Aranea's eyes, then put on a burst of speed. Before Aranea could protest, Meenah barreled into her slamming a fist into her face and tumbling them both to the ground in a heap.

"Ow!!!!!!!!" Aranea stared up at the light, focusing on the clear line between it into darkness. How...weird. Weirder still how she hadn't noticed it. Maybe she was just being a self absorbed 8itch.

"I thought I'd never fish you outa the darkness, Serks. The punch was for bein' stupid as hell." Meenah said, sitting up on Aranea. Aranea huffed and pushed uselessly at Meenah. "Seariously, what the fuck what you thinkin' goin' off on a fool's trip pike that, stup-squid?"

"Meenah, I demand that you stop with the puns an get off me! I am not in the mood for your fish scented shinanagins. How did you even find me?"

"Oi just followed the fuckin' light show ya were puttin on, gill." Meenah said. Aranea groaned softly.

"I want to be alone."

"To prawnder what a fuckin' idiot you were?" Meenah said. "Nu uh. You're comin' back with me so we can sort ya shit out pike two prawnper minowrails."

"Stop punning." Aranea said. Her voice was weak, and she doubted her knees could support her if she wanted to stand. Meenah wanted her again? Apparently. But more importantly, did she want Meenah? All she could see was the Condesce's face as she snapped her neck. Second time Meenah had killed her. It was blood chilling.

"Naw." Meenah stood up, and reached down. She hauled Aranea up, who did manage to stand up after all.

"...I want to be alone." Aranea repeated. Meenah grabbed onto her hand and started to haul her down the light show, back the way they'd come.

"Shore you do. After pulling a dumbass trick like that, who wouldn't? Boat we gotta go catch up with the others so we can go to the new land." Meenah explained.

"New land?" Aranea's skin prickled a little. They'd done it without her help. No one needed her help after all. She wanted to make them all pay for that, for not asking for and using her help. She was the Sylph of Light, for fuck's sake! She deserved to be asked for help and advice!

"Yup. And if you pull any shit pike the shit you just pulled, I'm gonna poke a few new blow holes in you." Meenah said. She grinned at Arenea again. A joke? Meenah was joking with her? Aranea scowled back. "Suit yourshell. Pout all ya want but pout in the new world."

Meenah continued to drag Aranea away, and while inside, Aranea shook with rage, outside she didn't let it show. Couldn't let it show. Let Meenah treat her like this, like she was a child in need of help. She'd see someday, that it was her who needed help, not Aranea. They'd all see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someday I'll write happy rail things for the dancestors but today is not that day. 
> 
> aranea. aranea no that's not how we deal with our mistakes.


	97. Feferi/Dave

Witches were possibly Dave's favorite class. Jade might have convinced him of that. Feferi definitely sealed the deal. Especially when she brought apple juice and pizza pockets over. Dave watched as she set the groceries on the counter and walked over to him. A moment later, she plopped down on the couch and sagged against his side.

"Oh!" She buried her face into his shirt, fins a flutter. "You would not sea-lieve what I've been through."

"Sea leaf, huh? Is that a typical sea dweller thing? Oh man we've got another batch of sea leaves. We better eat them quicker. Quick, tell everyone that we aren't going to have anything but sea leaves for dinner. Yes I know that sea leaves have no nutritional value, Orfish, but you better do it or you'll be served with them." Dave said, flicking on the t.v. Feferi huffed and elbowed him in the side. "Ow."

"You know that's not what I meant, stupid." She snapped, lifting her head.

Dave cupped her cheek in his hand and ran his fingers over her fin. She blinked, then inhaled softly as he kneaded the tips of his fingers into the base of it.

"No, it totally was, man." He insisted as she leaned her head against his chest. "In fact, Eridork was telling me about them the other day."

"How many times have I told you not to call him that?"

"He said you smoke them like weed. Sea leaf junkies wasting what little life they have back. Damn cull bait that's sitting on the street eating all the sea leaves and crapping in the drains and begging for more money to buy sea leaves with. This is why Alternia was so bad. It was all the sea leaf addicts." Dave continued. Feferi groaned quietly, and he papped her cheek.

"That's not right at all. You know that's not right. Shell the pike up!" She demanded, climbing into his lap. Dave slid his hand down to tease the edges of her gills.

"I'm an expert on sea leaf addicts, I don't know what you're talking about." Dave grabbed up the remote and hit play on the movie he'd picked out for Feferi and him. He started to pet her gills, and Feferi snuggled in for the movie.

She was adorably soft. Fuckin' built for snuggles. She started to purr as he moved his hand back up to rub her fin bases again.

Yup. Witches were the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Closes eyes* just two more chapters...


	98. Psiioniic/Handmaid

What fate had wrought upon this low blood, The Psiioniic was unjust to the extreme. Thankfully, there was an amount of friends he'd had to drag him back from his centuries as a helm for the empress. The Handmaid had not feared for his loneliness.

However, there was another sort of loneliness he suffered. The realization that no one would ever know what he was going through. They could help, of course, and they would. It was the Handmaid who truly understood him, and she did not leave him alone.

On this particular night, for instance, he was sick and working himself into a panic attack about the empress finding him again. The Handmaid sank onto the resting platform next to him, and smoothed her hands through his sweaty, tangled hair. He opened his eyes and stared at her. He said nothing, and neither did she. Now was not a time for words.

She crawled closer and curled herself around him. In the afterlife they'd been graced with, she had put on weight. She'd become soft and kind in a way that life hadn't allowed her to be. The Psiioniic had remained thin as a rail, all jagged edges and bones in uncomfortable places. He got sick so easily. He couldn't die, but that seemed only to prolong his suffering.

He soaked up her warmth and softness, burying himself as deep into the blankets and as close to her as he could. The Handmaid purred soothingly to him, running her hands down his sides. She kept the motions constant, and began to whisper in his ear.

The time for words came, and The Handmaid used it well. She told him how safe he was, how he'd never have to face the Condesce again, and how she would take care of him. Even if he did see the Condesce again, he needed to hear this here and now. A white lie never hurt anyone, did it?

Slowly, the Psiioniic's shivering and whines of discomfort ceased as he fell into a loose, trembling sleep. The Handmaid was slow to leave him, hating it, but she did leave him. She went to find soup, and heated it up for him. By the time she came back, he was sitting in bed, muttering to himself.

The Handmaid crooned out his name and walked over to the bed. She sat down on it, moving like liquid. She set the bowl in her lap, and began to spoon feed the Psiioniic his soup. She manged to get him to eat all of it, then tucked him right back into the bed.   
  
Once he was tucked in, she put away the bowl and came back. Curling around him once more, she cleared her throat. There was a tickle in the back of it, and the tickle grew into a cough. The Psiioniic muttered some apology, but she dismissed it by claiming it was Darkleer who got her sick.

That earned her a small, weak laugh. He drifted of, falling back asleep, and this time, she stayed with him, keeping him company in all manners of the word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one bites the dust


	99. Beforus Terezi/Beforus Kanaya

Kanaya stroked her fingers over the wriggler's back. It twisted and chirred quietly. It knew nothing of the empire, yet, but already it was doomed to a life of being a prisoner. It was a violet, but no fins adorned it's wee head, and no gill slits were carved into it's fat, stubby neck. She sighed and set it back down.

"Something the matter?"

Terezi. Kanaya turned and looked at her. The teal was leaning in the doorway, one eyebrow lifted.

"I know that look." Terezi said. Kanaya sighed quietly. She stood up and smoothed her hands over her skirt.

"No, nothing of consequence. Just regret." Kanaya said. Terezi graced her with a tired grin.

"The old song. I just wanted to swing by and let you know that I was getting a new assignment. I'll be gone for a few sweeps." Terezi said. Her voice was bland, bored, but there was a tension about it that alarmed Kanaya. She walked towards her moirail, hand outstretched, and took hold of her hand.

"And?" She prodded gently.

"...And I don't know if I'll be coming back. There's been a very...bloody uprising on one of our off planet colonies." Terezi said. She squeezed onto Kanaya's hand. "I came to say good bye."

"That's very final." Kanaya said. Her head got that curious far away feeling, and she believed she might be swaying a little.

"Yeah. It is."

"...In that case. Good bye, then." Kanaya said. Dread settled deep in her heart.

Terezi left. There was nothing left to say.

-

For a while, Kanaya had held out hope that Terezi would come back. Sweeps passed, however, and that hope slowly faded. She found a mutant grub, and finally had enough with the system. She fled with it, and from that grub, a rebellion was formed that rocked the empire to its foundation.

One night, they were attacked. Their attacker moved fast, stabbing and jabbing and and wirling about. Kanaya was hard pressed to defend them, but she did, and slammed the attacker to the ground.

"Ow!"

Kanaya froze. She pulled herself off the attacker, and dragged her into the cave. She flung the attacker at the fire, and stiffened as she realized just who it was. Karkat, Sollux, and Nepeta were in the mouth of the cave, watching.

"Terezi." Kanaya said simply.

She looked up at Kanaya and inhaled sharply.

"Kanaya."

"Hello."

"Wait, you're one of the rebels?!" Terezi scrambled up to her feet. She didn't attack, however, staring at Kanaya with confusion written across her face.

"I think, that we have a lot to talk about." Kanaya was proud of how her voice didn't tremble, even if nearly everything in her felt like she was dying.

"..Yes. I think we should."

-

Talk they did. For a long time. It took several nights for them to exchange their stories. Both of them had had a long and hard time of it. Thankfully, both of them had come through it stronger. And both of them still felt as pale as anything and everything for each other.

Unfortunately, Terezi's belief in her empire and her justice outweighed her feelings for Kanaya. So, the two parted, Terezi giving a promise to allow them to escape and to return to the capital.

Kanaya refused to answer Karkat's questions as she watched Terezi leave. She merely returned to her work and her life, although her heart was heavier then it ever had been before, even when Terezi left the first time.

Perhaps it was because when Terezi left the first time, she had no choice. This time, she did. And she chose to leave Kanaya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> terezi no


	100. Sollux/Karkat

"All right, now, you're sure this is okay?" Karkat asks. His voice is unsure and scratchy behind you. You force out a snicker, breathless and nervous.

"Fuck, KK, just get on with it." You say. He huffs and cuffs the back of your head. "Ow. This is moirail abuse."

"You're fine, you bulge lick." Karkat pulls you roughly, heaving you into his lap. He's still shorter then you, but he weighs a bit more.

You're blindfolded, of course, and your hands are tied. How else would you let yourself be paled? Karkat starts to run his hand through your hair. He doesn't just do that. He pets your ears, rubs the base of them, strokes your horns and gives them little squeezes, pulls on your hair from time to time, but the idea is the same.

His other hand creeps up under your shirt. It's so damn warm, and it's fucking weird to have someone warmer then Aradia. You don't complain, though. It's kinda relaxing, if you're being honest.

Karkat traces the scars left from the helm, following the pattern carved into your skin from your sweeps in the helmsblock. You let out a soft sigh as you loose the tension in your body, and that creeping suspicion that you don't deserve any of this comes crawling up your spine.

"Captor, I hate to tell you this, but you're tensing up again." Karkat informs you. His voice is deeper, and professional sounding. Like he's giving you a diagnosis. You snort out a laugh.

"Shut up." You say. He pricks his claws against your skin, then drags them down. You let out a groan at that and arch into his fingers. "Fuck. Fuck you and your stupid nails."

"Hey, you asked for this."

"Bull. You offered."

It's so much like your child hood banter that you loose your suspicions in the memories. You loose just about everything else as he continues, fingernails digging in sometimes and warm hand papping at other times. He's fucking _good_ at this, wow, and you come undone in his arms.

When you're a relaxed, purring, cooing mess, he still doesn't stop. He's tenacious, as well as good. You love everything about this paling. He finally coaxes you into a doze and stops, just holding you.

Your mind is a fuzzy mess and all you an think is that, hell, you might not deserve this, but you sure as hell are going to accept it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, I'm done, its over, there's nothing left to see. You can all go home. I'm done. 
> 
> HUGE huge huge thanks to those of you who commented!! I'm so grateful for everyone who left kudoes and who commented or talked about it with me on tumblr. You're the reason I finished this. You're all fantastic and I love you. <3


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